Angels, Gods, and Mortals
by The Purple Goddesses
Summary: Hey, you know what? I give up trying to summarize this. It's post Uprising, it's based on Greek Mythology. Oh, and there are a few minor OCs. You got questions, you got requests, just say so. Enjoy!
1. Hello, we're back!

Hi! I'm Lauren, and please let me say that I just LOVE Kid Icarus! You should read Darby's fics too. They will most likely be Naruto. You might see me messing with her fics because I feel like it.(Darby, I'm totally gonna mess with your fics) **( Ha ha ha, no you won't.)** Yes I will. Watch me. Anyway, let's get started!

Disclaimer: I own Kid Icarus. Just kidding. I only own the plot.

* * *

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Pit exclaimed as he jumped into the air.

"Pit, are you reusing lines?" Palutena asked.

"Is there a problem in reusing my lines from the last game? Because I think that Lauren wants- OW OW OW MY HEAD!"

"Pit! We discussed this! And you already broke the wall! Twice! Think about the people that make that thing!" Palutena had a good point. The immortals had a problem with walls. They were ready to collapse at any moment.

"So sorry lady Palutena! I just can't help it! Poor walls..."

Palutena sighed. "Pit, you did it again- ugh, you know what? I give up. Anyway, there's a town that needs your help. Viridi isn't joking around. Phosphora is leading the forces of nature, so protect it with everything you've got, because I can revive you." Wow. That's... disturbing.

Pit was attacked by said forces of nature, and retaliated. He knew Palutena could revive him, but he didn't want to risk punishment for breaking things. Swinging his First Blade(which was his weapon because reasons) he heard Viridi, the goddess of nature, made herself known.

"Well, Pit, it took you long enough to get here. These humans will be gone soon enough. They are only mortal, after all. Phosphora, hurry! These humans are thorns in my side!"

"Of course, mistress Viridi! I'll just take out this duo- hey! Stop- ow!" Phosphora, the lightning sprite, seemed to be having trouble. Also, Pit could hear both Viridi and Phosphora perfectly, even though they were nowhere in sight. Maybe they hijacked his laurel crown. If that was even possible. He decided not to think about things that were too complicated for him.

"Pit, I have some news for you. Magnus and Gaol live here, and they are doing a very good job of protecting their home. Help them from the air as long as you can!" Palutena told Pit as he fired shots from his First Blade and somehow collected hearts in the process.

"Got it, lady Palutena! So Magnus and Gaol must be dealing with Phosphora. Anyway how much time do I have left?"

"Oh, somewhere around a minute and half."

"What?!"

"Relax. I have faith in you. That should be more than enough." Palutena said happily.

"That's a lot of faith, lady Palutena. Don't you think that it might be _too_ much faith?" One minute and half was pushing it. You couldn't blame Pit for being nervous. Of course, Palutena didn't care.

"Pit, just do what you can until the land battle. I'm sure this will work out." Nobody was suprised.

Phosphora decided that that was a great time to yell, "Oh, the nerve of those humans! This is getting ridiculous! OW! Since when did mortals have magic? STOP IT!"

"What's wrong, Phosphora? Having trouble with two humans?" Pit's voice was full of false concern.

"Pit! Prepare for land battle!" Palutena signaled that the power of flight was running out.

"But I missed a Parashooter-"

* * *

"Aww, I wanted a perfect score!" Pit had missed _one_ Parashooter, and was unhappy that he couldn't soft-reset. Naturally, this made Palutena tighten the laurel crown around his head, making Pit yelp and hop around, which provided a very amusing scene to the outside viewer.

"Angel face?"

"Pit?" Magnus and Gaol had noticed Pit's little dance of pain.

"Magnus? Dark Lord Gaol? I thought you were fighting Phosphora!" Pit, once again, had accidentally called Gaol 'Dark Lord Gaol' out of habit. Gaol seemed to be slightly miffed about being addressed with her title from when she worked in the Underworld army. But being very patient, she simply ignored it. So did Magnus, but he probably didn't care about what Pit called his friend.

Magnus started to say, "If you mean the lightning sprite, we were fighting her, but-"

"FOUND YOU!"

"Teleportation is only so useful. We'll deal with her! You protect the others!" Gaol finished and warped the three away.

The Parashooter that Pit had missed earlier had come back with very bad timing. Pit nailed it in it's single yellow eye.

"Hah! Finally got ya!"

"Children! Strike down this chicken!" Viridi yelled.

"Why do you call them _children_ anyway? I don't see you calling Phosphora your daughter-" Pit started to say.

"'Children' is a title for the grunts. The commanders are called by their names, chicken." When Viridi called Pit 'chicken' she meant dumb and cowardly, just to insult him on two levels. Not that Pit would understand.

"You do know that chickens are invincible, right? If you try to kill one, it'll call it's friends and gang up on you- OWW I'MSOSORRYLADYPALUTENAIJUSTCAN'THELPITPLEASEDON'TKILLME!" Pit screamed at the top of his lungs, making himself heard all the way on the other side of the town and momentarily distracting Phosphora, Magnus, and Gaol. However, everybody was familiar with Pit being merciless on the fourth wall, so they knew what was going on.

Palutena sighed again. "Pit, just take care of the enemies. The town is in danger. You know the drill by now."

"Of course I do, lady Palutena! Just leave it to me!" Pit shot two Badoots and a Blader that were trying very hard to hit him. Then he started to run around the town, taking out three Pew pews and spending some time on a Lurchthorn, even though it wasn't doing anything for now.

* * *

"Lady Palutena, this town looks familiar. Have I been here before?" Pit asked.

"No, Pit, not that I remember." Palutena was confused.

"Wow, Pit, you amaze me. Have you got the memory of a goldfish? This is the town where you were a ring!" Viridi snickered at him. Now that Viridi had told him, Pit could recognize the town. It was in much better shape than is was several years ago.

"My memory is much better than a goldfish! Not to mention that I can talk!" And that ended the conversation. Nobody said a word as Pit served a lot of pain to a passing Captain Flare. Apparently they were out of lines. That made everyone bored. But Pit didn't have any new comments, and he didn't want to reuse any. Palutena couldn't go over the Bumpety bomb's bio, because Pit already knew that he had to melee them. Viridi didn't have anything snappy to say, and needed ideas. But nobody would say anything, and unlike Pit, it was beneath her to reuse any old insults. She didn't want to call him a hole in the ground a second time. Calling him a dweeb was tempting because his reaction had been so good the first time, but no reusing insults.

*15 minutes of random shooting and melee later*

"Can anybody _please_ say something? At least VIridi? I'm so bored." Pit was now dragging his feet.

"Wow. You actually said please. Ok then. Here's a little something."

And Viridi dropped five Cacaws and a Clobbler in front of Pit. So that he would say something for her to insult.

"I just had to open my mouth."

"Hey, you asked for it!"

"I did not ask for this! I was just bored!" Pit yelled at Viridi while doing his best to not touch the Clobbler and kill the Cacaws. It didn't work. The Cacaw next to him let out a deafening "CAW!" and Pit ran straight for the Clobbler. But the Clobbler exploded for no reason. Suddenly, a large beam shot out of the sky and blasted the Cacaws into nothing. Pit looked up to see a brown haired girl perched on the roof of a house, holding a staff.

"Need some help?" She asked. The girl was wearing a white tunic and grey leggings. She had green eyes and her brown hair was tied into pigtails with grey pieces of cloth.

"I'm Perdix."

* * *

If you love greek mythology as much as me and Darby, you should know about Perdix. If you do, don't yell at me about Perdix being a boy in the myths. I just happened to be making a female character and her story ended up a lot like Perdix's, so I was uncreative about the name. If you know the myth, you should have a good guess about how this will go. The plot isn't complete yet, but I'm liking this story so far. Just don't yell at me for making Perdix a girl. If Perdix's design sounds familiar, that has good reason. I will answer questions about Perdix in the plot, but if they are unimportant, I will answer them one way or another. Goodbye!


	2. I'm Perdix

Hi! This is Lauren here! This is more fun than my Zelda fic right now, so I'm doing it first because I feel like it. Darby, you should hurry with your Naruto fanfic. We are sharing this account. And I can't stop you from messing with my disclaimers, but don't harm the story.

Disclaimer: I own Kid Icarus but not the plot. Wait, it's the other way around.

* * *

"I know that Perdix is a weird name, so don't mention it." said the girl with the long pigtails.

"Ok? I'm Pit, servant of the goddess of light, Palutena!" Pit introduced himself, but Perdix frowned.

"You sound familiar, but I don't recognize your face. Have we met before?" She asked politely.

"Umm, I don't think so. Maybe we met and forgot?" Pit suggested, starting to get sidetracked.

"...Don't we have a town to protect? I happen to like my home, so I'm quite unhappy that the forces of nature are trying to destroy it." It didn't take a genius to see that Perdix was getting impatient.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Pit quickly finished. The brunette had a point, they did have a town to protect, which was the very coveted home of said brunette.

"Thanks. Can you take the left batch of nature's baddies? I don't have to tell you that I'll be taking on the right, right? Ugh, the pun was unintended."

"Hey, it wasn't that bad!"

"...I really don't know what to say about that."

"Looks like you've got a new ally, Pit. Care to give me the details?" Pit could almost see Palutena smiling.

"She seems kinda familiar, but I don't remember meeting her in the last game- NO PLEASE SPARE MY BRAINS LADY PALUTENA!" Pit grabbed both sides of his laurel crown and did another little dance of pain. This was very amusing to both Perdix and Viridi.

"My name is Perdix, I am a sorceress, and I am fighting the forces of nature because I don't want my kind to get exterminated."

"Can you _hear_ me?" Palutena was surprised for good reasons. She wasn't expecting a mortal to be able to hear her telepathy with Pit.

"I did say that I was a sorceress. Hearing telepathy isn't very hard. Or do you want me to leave the your divine telepathy, miss?"

Palutena paused. "Miss?" Pit remembered the time that Phosphora had called his mistress 'ma'am'. Calling her 'miss' was a good call. Good call, Perdix.

"Judging by your voice, you must be much to young to be called ma'am. But I can't just call the great goddess of light by her name." Perdix was _very_ good. Pit wondered if she somehow knew about the conversation in the thunder cloud temple. She was flattering Palutena effortlessly while levitating a Bumpety bomb into a Boom stomper and sending them up in fire.

"She seems like a good ally, Pit." It was super effecti- Wait, wrong universe.

* * *

Viridi chocked with laughter and Perdix just stared as Pit hopped around, holding his head and spouting gibberish. That was happening very often.

"Pit, you are so merciless on the walls, I think I'll just lest Palutena kill you instead. Umm, I meant knock you senseless." Viridi was considering simply letting Pit walk around while his laurel crown squeezed his head. Perdix started to wonder if Pit's biggest threat was Palutena, and not Viridi.

Palutena let out an exasperated sigh. "Viridi, if I could punish you, I could. The immortals must keep rules."

"Don't forget mortals, lady Palutena." Perdix reminded her. She had decided that calling the goddess lady Palutena was safest, Pit did it all the time.

Then, Magnus and Gaol appeared out of nowhere for plot convenience.

"I can still fight-" Gaol was leaning on Magnus, who was holding her up with no trouble, despite all the armor.

"You spent all your strength. I"ll go back and fight her- what?"

"Magnus! Gaol! What happened?" Perdix ran over to the duo.

"Perdix! So you met angel face here. Gaol trapped the sprite in the area up there." Magnus pointed up to the place Pit had fought his body while possessing Magnus's body. Unfortunately, the path leading there had been completely blown to dust. "I was going to go back, but I can't, and Gaol doesn't have any energy left."

Pit looked crestfallen. Perdix glanced at him. "Hey, can't you fly?"

"No, I can't fly without lady Palutena's help, and I already used the power of flight."

"What's going to happen if you use it a second time?" Perdix asked.

Pit glared at her. "Then you would see me falling down with my wings on fire. So, no flying."

Magnus and Gaol looked at Perdix expectantly. She scowled and looked at them. "Fine, I'll do it on one condition. Both of you are going home." And with a twirl of her staff, Magnus and Gaol vanished.

Pit stared at Perdix, who was muttering about how she should have learned about the power of flight. "What were you talking about?"

"My specialty is creation magic. All I need are the materials and I can build anything." Pit silently wondered if that was what Dyntos did, but with all sorts of materials. Rubble started to rise from the ground, forming the shape of a path. Even dust gathered together to create the road. After a few seconds, there was a flash of light, and Pit was standing in front of a very familiar path that brought back bad memories. At least there weren't any Centurions. Perdix walked up the path and put her hand in front of her. Pit was ready to leap into the arena, but he stopped to watch Perdix.

"It's just a basic barrier, so it'll disappear after the battle is over. We won't be trapped." She still looked unhappy.

"Uh, Perdix? Is there a problem?" Pit had gotten used to Perdix's calm smile, so the fact that she was now glaring at everything with the intensity of a mega laser was making him uncomfortable.

"Just something that's bothering me. It's probably nothing. Come on, let's just beat up that lightning sprite."

* * *

Phosphora was not keen on letting herself get beat up. She blasted them with lightning as soon as the two stepped in. Pit quickly dodged and Perdix levitated a random piece of rubble in front of her.

"Hmm? Since when did you fight two on one, Pit? I didn't know that was your style. And teaming up with a lowly mortal, no less." Phosphora taunted. Perdix twitched.

"I dare you too say that again." Perdix's voice was a low growl.

"Lowly mortal." Phosphora turned away from Perdix, who was now steaming with anger. Pit backed away just to be safe.

"Yeah, Pit. How does two on two sound?" Said a familiar voice. Pit looked up.

"Pittoo?!"

"Don't call me that! It's Dark Pit!"

Dark Pit flew into the arena, pulling out his Silver Bow. His scowl showed the fact that he hated his nickname. Pit cursed himself for bringing his First Blade with no stars(it earned him a headache). Then he registered the fact that Dark Pit was working with Viridi.

"Wait! Why are you here?!"

Viridi snickered. "We covered this in the Smash conversa-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE VIRIDI!" Palutena yelled.

"Who are you?" Perdix asked. She didn't know about Dark Pit.

"He's my flawed clone, Pittoo."  
"I'm the better angel, Dark Pit."  
"What? That makes no sense."

"Aren't we going to start? Because we're all trapped here otherwise." Phosphora said.

"Right. Phosphora, are you going to fight the human girl?" Dark Pit glanced at Perdix.

"What? You think I have to fight a pathetic human?"

"Pathetic human? Oh, it is _on._ Pit, you beat your doppelgänger senseless. I am going to _kill_ that lightning sprite!"

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit fired shots at each other, and both missed. Pit fired a forward dash charged shot and Dark Pit did the exact same. Pit dashed forward to melee his counterpart, but Pittoo was fast. The First Blade and Silver Bow clashed together, pushing both angels back. Then the angels heard a loud explosion and turned on instinct to see a major catfight.

* * *

"TAKE IT BACK!" Perdix was really, _really_ mad that Phosphora had called her pathetic. She had created a giant swirling storm of rubble around her and Phosphora was zipping around, trying not to get hit with the debris. Phosphora blasted the earthly sheild with lightning, sending up a lot of dust, mostly settling on her head.

"Pathetic human."

"Cowardly sprite."

"Weak mortal."

"Useless servant."

"I could go on for days."

"Then why are you stalling?"

* * *

Dark Pit slashed at Pit, who was sent flying. Pit retaliated with rapid fire, and Dark Pit wasn't able to dodge soon enough and grabbed his shoulder in pain. They continued to fight, and both were wishing that they weren't so equal in skill. At least it would end. They were used to fighting each other, so they even knew their fighting styles. The battle was more of an awkward shuffle, especially considering that they didn't want to kill each other.

"Didn't you say that you were servant to no other than yourself, Pittoo?"

"That is the last time I will hear Pittoo! And no, I'm not Viridi's servant. Unlike you. You just do whatever Palutena wants you to, like a puppet. But _I_ have a free will."

"I follow lady Palutena's orders because I trust her judgement! There isn't any other reason!"

"You sure it's not just because she squeezes your head?"

* * *

"I AM NOT WEAK!"  
"I AM NOT USELESS!"

Both girls screamed simultaneously. The result was the angels covering their ears, while Phosphora and Perdix glared daggers at each other. Phosphora had a good number of bruises and Perdix had a long burn on her arm.

"Try this." A pillar of fire spawned directly under Phosphora's feet. She darted away, but her sandals were gone and her feet were badly burned.

"You will die very painfully!" Phosphora screamed in outrage.

* * *

'She must have liked her sandals', Pit thought. He heard a slapping sound in his head that reminded him of a facepalm.

* * *

Perdix jumped away from the gargantuan bolt of lightning. Her arms now had matching burns, but the look in her eyes said, ' _No,_ you _will die very painfully._ ' She swung her staff, but a small bolt struck her in the leg. Phosphora readied another blast, but a stray piece of rubble smacked her in the back. Perdix stood up, pointed her staff at Phosphora, and created another pillar of fire. But, she saw the heavenly light and heard birds chirping. Viridi had taken Phosphora away.

"Darn that goddess." she grumbled.

* * *

The chirping of birds momentarily distracted the angels.

"See? You can't defeat good!" Pit shouted at Dark Pit's face.

"What tells you that she's _good_? You teamed up with Viridi before, and you admit that Viridi has good reasons for wanting to exterminate mankind. I know because I am you. Can you even tell the difference between good and evil?"

This made Pit momentarily hesitate. He had joined forces with Viridi before, and she had seemed like a good person, even if she insulted him constantly.

"Pittoo! Get out!" Viridi's voice sounded through their heads, and Dark Pit returned to the forces of nature just as a piece of rock shot out of the ground from where he was standing. The rock retreated into the ground, and Pit looked at Perdix. She had a good collection of burns, and was covered in dust.

"You okay?"

"There's nothing some time won't fix. Thanks for helping me. I'll get going." She limped out of the arena.

"Pit, we have to do something about the forces of nature. Come back to skyworld." Pit felt the warm light of the heavens surround him, and he returned home.

* * *

Aaaaaand that's it. I'm really liking this story, I've got the next chapter all planned out, so you can expect that soon. My updates will be very frequent until school starts again.

Link: Hurry up on my fanfic.

Shadow: For once I agree. Hurry up!

Fine, fine, wait, GET OUT! THIS ISN'T YOUR STORY! *chases Link and Shadow away*


	3. Hecate's Book of Spells

Pit: Aw yeah! Chapter 3! Lauren likes this better!

Shadow: *pulls out double helix sword* We told you to hurry.

HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! I LOCKED THE DOOR!

Shadow: Small key.

Fi: *drags Shadow out* You weren't supposed to use it there!

Thank you, Fi. Wait, how did she- never mind. *locks door*

Pit: That was random.

Pit, don't you have a place to be? Like, the hot springs? *grins*

Perdix: ...He goes in _fully dressed?!_

Dark Pit: Pit's just too lazy to ever take off his clothes, but he'll never admit it. He blames the rule of always being prepared.

Perdix: Wow. Just,... wow. I'll never fully understand angels.

I know, me neither. Anyway, Pit has a new mission! It'll be a lot of fun! Hopefully.

Disclaimer: Gotta do it, right? I don't own Kid Icarus. **(NOT)** If I did, there would be more games.

* * *

"Pit! Hurry up and get over here!" Palutena called. "It's urgent! Hurry!"

Pit ran to his mistress from soaking in the hot springs. Now he knew why the author had sent him there(You like this, Pit? Well, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!). He saw that Palutena was with another goddess with two torches and a polecat on her shoulder. When Pit looked at her, she seemed to shift like she was made of mist, and her face kept changing between three faces, like she couldn't decide what to pick. Her long golden hair was set in a high ponytail, and her face was so pale, Pit wondered if she had any blood. All three of her faces looked worried.

"Hecate, I'll do what I can to find it. I'll search from the heavens, and Pit can retrieve it. Don't worry." Palutena said in a soothing voice. The other goddess looked down sadly. Hecate? If Pit remembered right, she was the goddess of magic.

"I'm very sorry, Palutena. I know you're busy, but all my angels were turned to stone, and that book, if it falls into the wrong hands,..." Her voice failed her.

"Exactly why this is worth my time. Now don't worry." Palutena turned to face Pit. "Pit, this is Hecate, the goddess of magic. Her book of spells disappeared, and we are afraid that it might have gotten stolen. That book carries spells so powerful, it can't fall into the wrong hands. Your mission is to retrieve it. Once I locate it, that is."

"Of course, lady Palutena! That book won't be used by anyone! Except lady Hecate, naturally."

Hecate smiled at Pit. "Thank you. I've heard about what you've done. We gods are thankful." and with that, she dissolved into smoke.

* * *

A while later, just as Pit was getting ready do enter the hot springs, Palutena summoned him. Again. Lauren must be unhappy. Of course, Palutena proceeded to squeeze his laurel crown.

"I've finally pinpointed the book's location! It's in the ruins where you fought Pittoo for the first time. Why it's there of all places, I don't have a clue. Get going, Pit!"

"It's just a retrieve mission, I know where the book is, it can't be that hard, right?" Pit took flight and nearly collided with a Nutski. "Are you _kidding_ _me?_ " The unfortunate foot soldier of the forces of nature met an early demise, courtesy of Pit's Stealth Claws. He was glad he had chosen a weapon that he was happy about, and not the standard First Blade that he always started with for some unknown reason.

"Lady Palutena, why are the forces of nature here?" Whatever Palutena was about to say was cut off by Viridi.

"It's because I don't want that stupid book go to anyone but Hecate! It makes everything so unnatural! I hear you can manipulate others with it, slow the flow of time, extend your life, and even raise the dead! Talk about crazy. Good thing it's the property of Hecate. She doesn't mess with it for fun." Viridi said.

"So, you don't want the magic book. Or just get in my way. You want to return the book? Like me?" Pit asked. His luck was coming back after it had abandoned him at the hot springs.

"First, I'm not Hades. I don't do things just to get in your way. And second, _of course_ I want to return the book. Weren't you listening the first time? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised."

"I was listening! Just checking to be sure. Does this mean I don't have to fight?" Pit was getting hopeful. Maybe he could push his luck just a little bit... just once...

"You did just destroy a Nutski for no reason. But I _can_ just create more, so maybe. Pittoo! You're teaming up with Pit!" Viridi wasn't always out for blood. She just hated humans. His luck must be coming back after it abandoned him in the hot springs.(아니, 곧 개고생을 할걸) What? His laurel crown tightened again.

"Does this mean we get to do our pre-boss battle rallying cry again?" Pit asked. It was one of the good things about working with Dark Pit. The bad side was the fact that Pit had forgotten the words of said pre-boss battle rallying cry.

Dark Pit flew next to the very hopeful angel. "Do you even remember the words? Knowing you, you probably forgot them." Pit's expression was priceless.

"Hahaha! You absolutely nailed him!" Viridi laughed her head off. Even Palutena chuckled. "He definitely forgot!"

"Umm, I'm pretty sure it's 'Filth of the land, hear our words!' And then you say 'See our actions'?" Pit was wearing a look of utter confusion.

"Viridi was right about you having the memory of a goldfish("Hey!"). Your lines are 'Filth of the lands, hear our words' like you said. Wait for me, then it's 'I am Pit, servant of the goddess of light'. Wait for me again-" Dark Pit was cut off by Pit.

"Yeah! Then you said, 'And I am Dark Pit, servant to no other but myself'. Hang on, won't you need to change that? How about 'servant of the goddess of nature'?"

"No way. Just say, 'Together we will rain death upon you'. Wait for me to say-" Pit interrupted again.

"Right! I remember now! It was 'Anyone who wants to die, step right up!' And then I say, 'And anyone who doesn't want to die, too bad!' Aw yeah!" Pit did a midair flip in joy of his memories of their battle cry being refreshed.

Dark Pit looked at his jovial counterpart. "You are still annoyingly cheerful."

Pit pouted. "And you are still all doom and gloomy."

"If you guys are done talking, you might see that the power of flight is running out. And the fact that you've arrived at the ruins." said Viridi, with one of her snickers. the Pits looked and saw the dark ruins where they had battled for the first time. Pit and Dark Pit looked at each other.

" **Well, this sure brings back memories.** " They said in harmony.

* * *

Upon landing, Dark Pit gripped his Silver Bow tightly. Pit looked around and raised his Stealth Claws.

"That's not right."  
"Why are there _Miks_ here?" One of the large, pudgy mouths, floated past. Dark Pit raised his bow, but Pit stopped him from firing. "They don't have a master. No need to-" One Mik turned around and stuck out it's tongue to attack. "I take it back." The poor Mik exploded into hearts before it could even swing it's tongue. Another one spat a ball of darkness at them before it got shot by Dark Pit's arrows. In a few seconds, all the Miks were gone.

"Guess they want revenge. Never thought I'd be seeing those baddies again." Dark Pit muttered. "What's next, a horde of Monoeyes- YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Sure enough, a horde of Monoeyes were approaching like a big, red, disgusting cloud.

"Lady Palutena, why is the Underworld Army here? Do you think they stole the magic book?" Pit asked. He was good at asking questions while mercilessly slaughtering underworld forces.

"Since the Hecate's book of spells can raise the dead, I think it's possible that they stole it. But Hecate has some amazing security. I don't see how they could steal anything from her. Even Hades thought that they were idiots." Palutena responded from the heavens.

"...Maybe they got smarter?("Yeah, right")"

The two angels looked around the many places that the book could be hidden. The Pits searched underground in a hole, rode a Cherubot in an open field and even ran all the way up a mountain. There was no sign of Hecate's book of spells(earning them a lot of insults from the goddess of nature), just a lot of Handoras. Then they decided to check the alter at the top of the hill. Pit used his Stealth Claws well, firing invisible shots, and Dark Pit just went pure aggressive. The Handoras didn't stand a chance.

* * *

The Pits arrived at the alter. Pit remembered sheer frustration of being barraged with an EZ Cannon, and Dark Pit remembered the frustration of losing the battle to Pit. As one could expect, neither were very happy about returning to the alter. The fact that Pit was instantly hit with a flying Skuttler helped Dark Pit's mood a bit, but not so much for Pit.

"Aw, come on! Why do I have to get hit with a flying Skuttler? Wait, why is a Skuttler flying anyway?" Dark Pit looked around to see a familiar girl with long brown pigtails and a staff smack a Skuttler mage, making it dissolve into hearts.

"Perdix?" Pit looked so baffled that Dark Pit would normally tease him about it, but he was slightly distracted by the fact that the human girl that had managed to defeat Phosphora was right in front of him, staring at him in the eye, holding Hecate's book of spells.

Perdix looked at Pit. Then she looked at Dark Pit. Then she looked back at Pit, and back at Dark Pit. Then she summed up everyone's thoughts very nicely.

"What."

"Did _you_ steal Hecate's book of spells?" Dark Pit asked. The look on Pit's face had changed from baffled to disbelif.

Her face lit up. " _This_ is the book of the great goddess Hecate?" As if she was in a trance, she started to open it...

"Perdix! Did you steal it or not!" Pit yelled, gaining himself a scowl from her.

"Of course not. Humans can't even enter the heavens without dying. I just hate the Underworld Army more than anything, and I can't keep myself from killing them. Not after Hades took my parents. I just happened to find the book of the great goddess Hecate. Here, take it." And she walked over and handed it to them. The battle with Phosphora had done a real number on her. She had bandages all over her arms and over her right knee.

"Umm, thanks?" Pit was looking a little disappointed about not having the chance to do the pre-boss battle rallying cry.

Perdix looked at Dark Pit. "I thought you two were enemies. Care to explain? I'm fine as long as you don't insult me."

"I'm Dark Pit, a commander in the Forces of Nature, but I don't care about exterminating humans. Pit and I have teamed up before, so we're not really enemies. Not anymore."

"He dies when I die. We're just two sides of the same coin. But before we knew this, it wasn't really great."

"Fine. You should get back to your goddesses now. I'll undo the seal."

"Wait, what seal?" Pit asked. "The seal that keeps the power of the gods away. I guess the Underworld Army made it to hide the book, but it didn't work. Bye." And with that, she teleported away as the goddesses entered their minds.

"PITTOO! YOU HAD A HUMAN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU DIDN'T KILL IT?! THE SAME HUMAN THAT NEARLY-" Viridi's ranting was cut off as Dark Pit was called back to the heavens.

"Pit, what happened? I couldn't reach you, but you found the book? Let's get you home to hear the whole story."

* * *

Pit handed Hecate her book of spells, and the goddess of magic hugged him. Palutena looked very proud of her angel.

"Did anybody read it, Pit?" Hecate asked.

"One mortal nearly did, but she didn't get to fully open it." The goddess of magic smiled and dissolved into smoke one more.

Pit wondered what would have happened if Perdix had read the book. She didn't seem like a bad person. Then again, neither did Viridi.

* * *

 ***back on the earth***

Perdix raised her staff and began channeling power. She focused on the vast amount of books in front of her. They fell apart and began to reassemble to form a much bigger book, a perfect copy of the book of Hecate. Perdix picked it up, and began to read. The Cherubot she was sitting on began to blink red. Her eyes widened, and she jumped off right before it exploded. Perdix stared for a moment.

"I like this thing." She began to read silently.

* * *

Aw, no boss battle? Don't worry. I am planning on some good ones. Pit teamed up with Dark Pit and met Perdix again, I just wanted to show that they aren't going for each other's throats. This is in the 'Friendship' category. Pit doesn't think that Viridi is evil either. But he will be considering what exactly is good and evil in the near future.

'아니, 곧 개고생을 할걸' is 'No, you will have a hard time in the near future' in Korean(I like to play pranks by slipping between two different languages. It doesn't work on Darby though). **(Hehehehe, I'm immune to your tricks Bwahahahahahahahahah)**

Link: This is unfair.

Y'know, I'm not even surprised now.

Viridi: OMG!

Pit: It is fair.

Palutena: Still think of Link as your rival?

Shadow: Don't we outclass you? By a lot? *smirks*

Viridi: Link is _way_ hotter than Pit!

Pit: At least I can talk!

Link: Didn't you hear me?

Pit: Nope!

Everyone except Pit: *facepalms*


	4. New Threat

YOU'RE GETTING A PERSONAL SESSION WITH ME, ANGEL BOY!

Pit: Ahhhh! *runs away*

GET BACK HERE! *chases Pit*

Perdix: ...Now what?

Dark Pit: Start on our own?

Palutena: I don't think we have a choice.

Viridi: Yeah. I didn't think this would ever happen.

*drags in Pit by the ear* Don't you _dare_ start without me. *throws small key into trash*

Pit: Ow...

But seriously, where are all these small keys coming from?

Disclaimer: You really think I own Kid Icarus? Well, I don't. Now you know.

* * *

Pit was unsure what to think. Yesterday, he had been fighting alongside Pittoo, but today they were against each other. Why couldn't they just pick a relationship and stick with it? Were they friends, or enemies? Viridi was the same. She had sided with him against the Aurum and Underworld Army. She was really helpful, and made hot springs! How could anyone that made hot springs be a bad person? But she wanted to destroy humanity, and Pit wanted to protect the humans. He had tried to convince Viridi about letting them live, but she wouldn't listen.

Dark Pit's Silver Bow appearing in front of his face snapped him out of his thoughts. Pit jumped back and fired a forward-dash charged shot from his Aurum Orbitars. They missed their mark, and Dark Pit smirked at Pit.

"Daydreaming, are we? Well, FOCUS!" Pit grudgingly had to agree with his clone. He had to focus on the battle at hand. He focused even harder when Dark Pit marked his shoulder with an arrow. It just had to be a charged shot.

"Pit, your Aurum Orbitars have amazingly fast rapid fire. Use it to your advantage." Pit took his goddess's advice and sent Dark Pit dashing madly as Pit sent beams of rapid fire. The black angel cried in pain, and Pit knew that he had hit his mark.

"Not so tough, huh? Missed me!" Pit dodged to the right as Dark Pit sent a charged shot at him.

Dark Pit's bow separated into two blades, and he ran at Pit, who spun his orbitars around him for protection. Dark Pit managed a long cut on Pit's arm before getting hit with one of the orbitars. Both angels were breathing heavily, they had been fighting nonstop for several minutes.

"Take this!" Dark Pit dashed forward while firing a charged shot, and Pit was too close to dodge. But the white angel had other ideas.

"Reflect Barrier!" The red barrier appeared in front of Pit just in time for the powerful shot to bounce off and hit Pittoo. "And Meteor Shower!" The shooting stars fell from the sky, knocking Dark Pit into crisis mode.

"Crisis Recovery! And Health Recovery!" Dark Pit started to heal with the help of Viridi. This was going to be long.

Pit, expecting charged shots like usual, began to circle Dark Pit while shooting rapidly. But then, surprising everyone, Viridi included, Dark Pit sent a barrage of arrows, making Pit yelp.

"Wasn't expecting that, were you? How about this?" Dark Pit dashed at Pit, the blades of his Silver Bow flashing.

"Darkness!" Dark Pit stopped and looked around blindly, probably because he was blind. "Mega Laser!" The giant laser hit Dark Pit, and he collapsed on the spot.

"This isn't over!" Dark Pit disappeared into the light and leaves, going back to Viridi. Pit had won another battle, and saved more humans. He could hear their cheering, but it couldn't help the weird feeling that something was wrong. Hades was evil, Pit had never hesitated to fight him. But Viridi, he wasn't sure. The warm light of the heavens surrounded him, and he returned to skyworld, back to his goddess.

* * *

"Great job, Pit! You have no idea how proud you make me!" Palutena rubbed his head proudly.

"Thank you, lady Palutena. I couldn't have won the battle with Pittoo without you." Pit answered. Palutena smiled, but she noticed Pit's expression and frowned.

"Pit, is there something wrong? Did Pittoo hurt you badly? Do you want to go to the hot springs?" Pit shook his head. That wasn't normal. Pit _loved_ hot springs.

"I'm fine, lady Palutena. It's just that, umm, I never hesitated to fight the Underworld Army, but Viridi and the Forces of Nature, I hesitate. They feel like,... allies. I'm not sure if I want to fight them."

Palutena frowned. To her, Viridi was just another goddess that would help her and fight her from time to time. Like... "Why don't you just think of them as rivals?" Pit blinked in confusion. "They help you, they fight you, but they don't try to kill you. Like rivals. Pittoo is already a rival to you, just think of the entire Forces of Nature as your rivals." Palutena smiled as Pit brightened.

"Lady Palutena, you're a genius! The Forces of Nature are just rivals! ...But they try to kill humans." Pit looked crestfallen. Palutena sighed.

"We'll think of something. I don't really enjoy fighting Viridi either, because she helped you so much. But you're the one doing the actual fighting, it must be worse for you. You know what? We'll make Viridi understand wiping out humanity is wrong. I promise you that." Palutena said. "Now, I think you earned yourself some time in the hot springs."

"YEAH! I LOVE HOT SPRINGS!"

"Now _that,_ is the Pit I know."

* * *

Dark Pit groaned. That Mega Laser had _hurt_. Viridi and her hot springs had helped, but that didn't help the fact that he felt horrible about losing to Pit. Again. Maybe he was just a flawed clone...

"Dark Pit, you okay?" Phosphora walked into his room. Dark Pit got along pretty well with Phosphora, because she rarely called him Pittoo. Only when she wanted to get under his skin.

"Pittoo!"(Like that) Phosphora snapped her fingers in front of his face, making a small jolt of electricity, zapping his nose.

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "I'm fine." Phosphora raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't react to me calling you 'Pittoo'. You hate that nickname. I take it as a sign that you're _not_ fine."

Dark Pit ignored her and stared at the floor.

"Come on, spill the beans already! If this is because you lost to Pit, train! Train so you can defeat him! Do you think I haven't?" Dark Pit showed no interest and continued to stare at the floor. "Or do you want me to drag you all the way to the practice range?" Dark Pit was practically in love with the floor at this point.

"Don't go all Cragalanche on me!" Viridi had recreated Cragalanche recently, and he was strong and silent as ever. With the weak point on his butt. Strong and rock silent, but extremely sensitive to a spanking. That was Cragalanche.

"Leave me alone, Phosphora." Phosphora huffed angrily and left. "Maybe you are just a flawed clone of Pit." She stormed out the door, her scarf flowing with electricity. Dark Pit watched her go. He didn't want to admit it, but her last comment had stung.

"Aren't I anything else? Just a clone of Pit? No, we're different. I'll prove it." He said to himself.

* * *

"Pit! The Underworld Army is invading the human world!"

"What?! How?!" Pit's wings glowed with the power of flight, and he saw the Underworld Army swarming around a town. Specifically, the town where he had fought Twinbellows, the Underworld watchdog. "But I defeated Hades! And Medusa! They can't be back! Not already!"

"I agree. Somebody would have to resurrect them, but who would? I thought that the Aurum had a better chance of returning. Just protect the town!" Palutena ordered. Pit's Aurum Orbitars' rapid fire reduced a group of Syrens to zero. This caught the attention of a Reaper, because Pit was just that lucky.

* * *

After the last Reapette exploded into a shower of pink hearts, Pit's wings started to get warm.

"The power of flight is running out. Get ready for land battle!" Palutena sent Pit to the ground, and Pit spun his Aurum Orbitars at a Komayto and fired a charged shot at a Pluton. He heard the sound of shooting, and turned around to see a Mega Mussel outside a house. He could also hear faint screaming from inside.

"Hey, you overgrown clam! I'm over here!" Pit made himself known to the overgrown clam by destroying one of it's red pearls. The Mega Mussel started to shoot Pit, but he dashed to the left and fired at the two remaining pearls. The clam fell to the ground and turned into a few red hearts. Pit heard a cheer from inside the house. It made him smile.

Some more Underworld enemies joined the fight with Pit. Multiple Monoeyes and Miks shot balls of dark energy("Hey look, Shadow Balls" said Pit. Palutena proceeded to squeeze his head like usual), that Pit avoided without any trouble. He obliged to shoot them down. Soon, there were no more monsters as far as Pit could see. A door creaked open, and a little boy peeked outside. He smiled from ear to ear when he saw Pit. He started to walk out towards the angel, but Pit saw a very familiar pair of teal pincers sticking out of the ground, right in the boy's path. "Wait!" Pit pushed the child as the Girin jumped out of the earth, biting Pit's arm.

"Ahh!" The boy screamed and ran back in home as Pit blasted the giant bug with lasers. Pit held his arm where the Girin had bit him, but he was glad that the kid was safe. Nobody else came out of their homes, probably because a Tortolunk decided to crash down on the street.

"Pit, take out that Tortolunk! I'll heal your arm!" Pit could feel Palutena's Health Recovery power healing his arm as he ran from the Tortolunk, which was spinning on it's shell. It eventually stopped spinning, and Pit fired a charged shot and followed with rapid fire to damage the giant turtle. Or maybe it was a tortoise. The name 'Tortolunk' defiantly sounded more like 'tortoise', even though neither tortoises or turtles had points on their backs for spinning like tops. The Tortolunk flipped back over, and spun once more. Pit hurriedly dashed away to avoid getting smacked, but the Tortolunk did manage to strike a blow, and Pit was sent flying. He landed on his feet and fired at the Tortolunk to finish it off.

Palutena said "Good job! Now let's get you ho-"

"No, you did not do a good job." Palutena was cut off by an unknown, deep voice that seemed to come from within the earth itself. ''Why don't you try this, little angel? Or do you prefer Pit?" Suddenly, Pit was confronted by Twinbellows, the fiery two-headed dog. However, the flames weren't the orange color Pit was familiar with. Instead, they were a much brighter white color.

"Pit! Watch out! Twinbellows is stronger that ever!" Palutena warned him, even though it was unnecessary. Pit could feel the heat of Twinbellow's white flames, even from what he considered to be a safe distance. It practically slapped him in the face. He decided that he didn't want to join the barbecue. That was smart.

The dog breathed fire from it's two mouths, and Pit dashed around it while firing. Twinbellows wasn't very happy that Pit hadn't been reduced to a crisp, and slashed at him with his claws. Pit dodged and Twinbellow's claws barely missed the end of his chiton. Pit tried an approach from behind, but Twinbellows wagged his tail. It wasn't very cute. It was very dangerous.

"I take back what I said about getting some serious Nintendogs points together! Play dead!" Pit ordered.

Twinbellows did not play dead. Instead, he charged at Pit, engulfing the two of them in flames.

"Bad dog! Effect Recovery! You're not a Pokemon! You can't use Flame Charge!" Palutena decided not to squeeze his head. The last thing he needed was a distraction. Then Pit got a idea. A crazy, insane, idea. "Twinbellows! What do you think you're doing!" He shouted, mimicking Hades. Twinbellows looked around in surprise.

"Bad two-headed dog! You're supposed to be guarding the Underworld, not frying angels!" Twinbellows whimpered. Pit grinned. You could always count on the Underworld Army for not being very smart.

"Fine. Play dead for me, little doggie." Twinbellows fell over, playing dead. "That's a good boy. Back to the Underworld, now." Pit helped Twinbellows back to the Underworld by changing his status from 'playing dead' to 'dead'.

"That was... amusing. I wasn't expecting it to work, but whatever." The deep voice spoke again.

"Who are you? What are you doing?!" Pit demanded.

"Why don't you and your precious goddess figure that out? Here's a hint, I am known as the Crooked One."

"Lady Palutena, who was that?" Pit asked the goddess of light as he was called to the heavens.

"The Crooked One? I have a hunch, but I hope I'm wrong." Palutena answered.

* * *

That took way longer that it should have. I apologize.

Dark Pit: You're apologizing?

*glares* Obviously. I moved, and I had a problem with the internet. And furniture. And-

Dark Pit: We get it.

Pit: Who's the Crooked One?

Read anything about Greek mythology. I'm sure you'll find out.

Pit: But I can't read!

Learn, angel boy. Learn. Wait, can Dark Pit read? Just asking.

Dark Pit: Of course I can read. You think I'm like Pit?

Perdix: You need to answer that question yourself, don't you think?

Ok, I'll help you! Next chapter will be Dark Pit's POV!

Pit: But what about me? I'm the protagonist here!

Viridi: Take a break.

Pit: But-

You heard Viridi, take a break. And by 'break', I mean our personal session that we skipped earlier. *grins evilly* This is gonna be _fun._


	5. The Crooked One

Dark Pit: Where's Pit?

Oh, he's fine. I tied him up and put candles under his wings. He can't move without a replay of Scorched Feathers.

Dark Pit: So if he moves, I have to bring him back to the rewind spring?

Palutena: At least you won't have to fight Pandora again. Probably.

Pit: *screams from other room*

Viridi: I knew it. To the rewind spring!

(fifteen minutes later) I think I'll have to find another torture method. This was _too_ effective.

Dark Pit: I hate you.

Pit: Never... again...

*picks up small key* Ok, WHO DROPPED THIS?!

Everyone: Not me!

Disclaimer: I own Kid Icarus. I wish. Maybe in the next life.

* * *

Dark Pit fired another arrow at the Monoeye that refused to go away. He was in the practice range, and he fired arrow after arrow at the Monoeye.

 _30.5, 32.1, 29.3, 28.6,_ he dashed away for some distance and fired a forward-dash charged shot. _76.7_ _,..._ he needed to be stronger.

 _29.9._ The Monoeye flew away with a satisfying sound as a new one took it's place.

"You took my advice?" Phosphora walked up behind him. "Sorry about what I said earlier. About you just being a flawed clone of Pit. You two are completely different people." Phosphora walked up to the new Monoeye and rubbed her fingers together for some electricity. She smacked the red eyeball with her palm, adding her own power to the attack.

 _89.6_. "If you try out new tactics, you might find some good ones. I'm not sure how easy it would be to pull this off, though." Phosphora said.

"Thanks, Phosphora. I'm sorry about ignoring you earlier. I shouldn't have." Dark Pit apologized, and Phosphora looked happy. She left with a simple wave.

Dark Pit fired a charged shot into the air. He started using melee on the Monoeye.

 _14.5, 8.5, 14.3._ The charged shot crashed down.

 _94.8_. If he just had enough homing, it should work on moving targets. The Monoeye flew away.

* * *

"Dark Pit! Over here!" Viridi called him. He ran over to the goddess of nature. "There's a forest fire! Hurry there quick!" The well-being of trees didn't usually concern Dark Pit, but it looked like an entire mountain was aflame. More than trees were at stake here. "Take the Lightning Chariot!"

Phos and Lux neighed happily as Dark Pit approached them. They liked him more than Arlon, he wasn't so sure about Phosphora, and Cragalanche, you get the idea. He got into the chariot, and took off.

"WHAT?! You have GOT to be kidding me!" Dark Pit saw a Belunka spitting out Skuttlers. "The Underworld Army?! Why are they here?!" VIridi sounded just as confused. Dark Pit destroyed the Belunka by running it over with the Lighting Chariot. Syrens swooped in and were shot down by Dark Pit. The Lightning Chariot was one of the most powerful things Dark Pit had ever seen. Nothing stood a chance. He assumed that a few Underworld creeps had just been passing by.

"Of course they were just monsters passing by in perfect formation. No, they've got orders!" Viridi yelled. Dark Pit thought, 'Well, I couldn't have seen their perfect formation, I destroyed it as soon as they came.'

"Who would be giving them orders? Hades? He's immortal. He might have found a way." Dark Pit suggested.

"The final blast was amazingly powerful. He's not dead, but Hades shouldn't ever be able to regain a consciousness. Unless someone resurrected him, but who would want him around?"

"I agree. He was absolutely horrible company." A deep, cold voice came from within the earth. A low sound like chuckling was heard. "I knew a forest fire would be enough to lure Viridi out. She's too predictable."

Dark Pit didn't recognize the voice. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"Ask the goddess. And I want my former glory back."

"Viridi? Who is this?" Dark Pit asked, but there was no answer. The low chuckling sounded again.

"Ah, asking your goddess may be a bit more,... difficult than you imagine." Dark Pit caught a glimpse of the burning mountain. No, it wasn't burning, all the life and greenery had been reduced to black ashes.

"Phos! Lux! We're going back!" Dark Pit pulled the reins, and the unicorns pulled the chariot back to Viridi's domain. He burst inside to see,- Phosphora sprawled on the floor and Arlon standing in front of Viridi protectively. And Cragalanche-, was _attacking_ Arlon. What?

"Mistress Viridi! You must escape!" Arlon said to the goddess. Cragalanche hurled a flurry of red-hot boulders, but Arlon scooped up Viridi and moved out of the way.

"Cragalanche! Why are you doing this?!" Viridi demanded. Cragalanche didn't answer. Phosphora groaned on the floor.

"Ooww..." She got up, holding her side. "Dark Pit?"

"Arlon! Get Viridi out of here! Phosphora, what happened?" Dark Pit asked the lightning sprite. She only shook her head.

"I don't know. Cragalanche just walked in here and watched Viridi for a while, and suddenly he attacked." Phosphora said weakly. "This isn't like him. Mistress Viridi trusts him for a reason."

"I'll take him out. You go to Arlon and Viridi." Phosphora glared at him.

"You think I'm weak? No, I'm staying here and fighting." Dark Pit was vaguely reminded of the mortal girl(Perdix, was it?). He knew there was no arguing with Phosphora.

Cragalanche launched another volley of boulders. Phosphora and Dark Pit scurried out of the way. The golem burrowed into the ground- umm, floor, leaving a considerable hole. Dark Pit dashed away as Cragalanche burst out of the floor, and proceeded to shoot him in the butt. Cragalanche didn't respond, but he jumped as if it hurt a lot. Probably because it did.

"Over here, rock head!" Phosphora yelled. She fired a lightning bolt at Cragalanche, hitting him in the face. Unfortunately, hitting Cragalanche in the face didn't do much more than make him mad. He turned to Phosphora after swiping at Dark Pit with his massive arm. Dark Pit tried something new. He fired a charged shot into the air and shouted, "Keep him in one place!" His shot had homing, but Cragalanche was surprisingly fast for a rock. You'd think he'd be slow.

"What was the point of _that?"_ Phosphora said. Cragalanche decided to roll, and Phosphora quickly sped out of the way. She started to rub her fingers together.

"I took your advice!" Dark Pit struck the golem with melee, pushing him back into the spot that he wanted. Any time now...

The powerful charged shot fell out of the sky, and Cragalanche fell on his side. He glared at Dark Pit with two red eyes. Phosphora dashed in, and spanked Cragalanche with her electrified hand. He broke apart from all the damage he had taken.

"Sorry,..." Phosphora apologized.

"Young master Dark Pit! Lady Phosphora!" Arlon had returned. Viridi was following him, and she looked shell-shocked. Arlon checked the Dark Pit and Phosphora for injuries, and was relived not to find any severe ones.

"Do you know what got into Cragalanche?" Dark Pit asked. Arlon shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

"I know." Viridi looked rather traumatized. "That voice, it was Kronos, the lord of time."

* * *

"He must have controlled Cragalanche to attack us. Kronos was the king of the titans, and he could only be defeated by the combined power of the gods. Zeus, Poseidon, and,... Hades were only barely able to win. It was the biggest war in history." Viridi explained.

"But he was defeated!" Phosphora looked like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Viridi didn't look up from the ground. "Yeah, he was defeated. But, Kronos is more powerful than you can imagine. Anyone besides a god or titan wouldn't even be able to be in his presence without getting overwhelmed by his sheer strength. He's in pieces, deep in the Underworld, but he's still alive, and conscious." Viridi paused to take a deep breath.

"He's one of the most evil, if not _the_ most evil people to ever exist. Nobody ever comes close in destructive power. Not even Zeus."

"We can unite." Said Dark Pit. Everybody looked at him. "There are more gods now, and he's alone. It'll be a huge battle, and we can't exactly avoid it. I say we stop moping and get ready for the fight of our lives."

"I agree. Kronos is crafty, he might find a way to bring back more titans. But the gods are stronger. It's not hopeless." Viridi informed them. "I'll contact Palutena. We can't afford to fight each other right now. We need to unite the gods."

* * *

Palutena had agreed to meet Viridi. Pit looked slightly nervous as he paced the room, waiting for his goddess.

"You're serious, right?" He asked for the fiftieth time. Dark Pit facepalmed as Phosphora sighed. Arlon nodded again. They had told Pit what had happened once he asked. He had asked immediately after Palutena had left with Viridi.

"How many times are you going to make us confirm that?!" Dark Pit snapped.

Pit crossed his arms. "It's a little hard to believe, y'know."

Arlon remained expressionless. "It is true. Mistress Viridi has confirmed it."

"Just to be sure, are-" Phosphora set his chiton on fire with lightning. Pit danced in circles with his arms flailing. He ran for the hot springs and a loud SPLASH was heard. He came back out soaking wet.

"I get it now."

"Good."  
"Good."

Palutena walked out with Viridi. The difference in height was very noticeable.

"Pit, from now on, our enemy is Kronos, and the Underworld Army."

"Lady Palutena, do you know what Kronos is planning?" Pit asked. Everybody(minus Arlon) else looked somewhat surprised that Pit had asked something good for once.

"Me and Viridi have decided that Kronos would want his army of titans back, not just restore himself. He would try to resurrect them, or free them from their punishments. We have to stop that and unite the gods as one."

* * *

Don't talk to me.

Pit: Why?

School started again. 'Nuff said.

Viridi: You humans have such bad ideas. School? Why would you even make that kind of thing in the first place?

I'm trying to figure that out. I want to know.

Dark Pit: Back to the point. School started, and you're going to slow down?

*nods* The more homework, the slower I'll be. If there's a test, how does zero updates sound?

Pit: Not very good.

Palutena: But it's unavoidable, right?

Right.

Palutena: Then I accept it. It's not as bad as a war with Kronos.

Hmm, I'm not sure. But a war with Kronos would make an excuse for not coming to school... I wish it would happen.

Viridi: I wish Link would come back...

*glares* And I wish these small keys would stop appearing.

Link: Hey!

Pit: Why are you here?!

Viridi: OMG! *starts fangirling*

Link: *tries to say something but is pulled away by Vaati*

Yeah, I'd better get to work on that fanfic. And I need some new locks. I liked those ones in Skyward Sword... I wonder how I can get them? Anyone know?

Shadow: We wouldn't tell you.

*bangs head on desk repeatedly*

Palutena: That cannot be good for your brain cells.

 **Sakura: IKR?**

 **Ino: This isn't our story, forehead! We're not supposed to be here!**

 **Sakura: Well I can if I want to, Ino pig! A doctor should alway's be there for her patients. Plus, I'm the best medic next to Lady Tsunade!**

 **Ino: And just _who_ do you think is your patient?**

 **Sakura: Umm.. Lauren?**

Pea. Green. *growls* I will dye your hair a very nice shade of pea green. And if you used a small key-

 **Sakura: Eeep! There's a crazy patient here!**

 **Ino: That's why you shouldn't have come here. And you're the crazy one, forehead.**

 **Naruto: Oi! You two! What are you doing? You're supposed to be acting on Shannaro chapter 2! Right, teme?**

 **Sasuke: Hn.**

 **Sakura: Well, we'll be going now!**

Perdix: *walks in and facepalms* Get. Out. Right. Now. *levitates Shadow, Sakura, Ino, Naruto, and Sasuke out the window*

Thank you.

Pit: You didn't hurt them badly, did you?


	6. Kronos's Army

Pit: How do these 'author powers' work?

Just think that I'm taking over the Fates for a while.

Pit: That's disturbing.

*snip*

Pit: *eyes widen* AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Dark Pit: Wait, this is just yarn.

Perdix: And safety scissors.

*rolls around laughing* It's just yarn, not anybody's lifeline.

Pit: What?! Don't scare me like that!

Perdix: Relax, angel boy. That _was_ pretty funny.

Viridi: *snorts* Yarn and safety scissors,...

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now.

* * *

"Pit! Kronos sent the Underworld Army for Gaol's castle!" Palutena said as she activated the power of flight. "There are still a lot of Underworld monsters there, and their commander is Hewdraw."

Pit yawned in the sky, he was tired. Palutena had woken him up too early. The flaps of his wings were getting sluggish, and his thoughts were getting slower. In fact, he nearly fell in top of two humans. The two humans looked up.

"Sleeping on the job, angel face?" Said a familiar voice. Pit shook himself awake to see Magnus and Gaol standing in below him.

"Magnus? And Dar- I mean Gaol?" Pit asked. He was trying not to call Gaol 'Dark Lord'. She didn't like it very much. Palutena set him on the ground to talk.

"Obviously. So, you're going to the castle?" Gaol asked. Pit nodded. Magnus rolled his eyes.

"We're in for the reward money. Again." Humans were much faster than you would think. "Humans can't just depend on you guys for everything. We learned that the hard way." Magnus grumbled. Pit remembered the time Palutena had gotten her spirit stolen. It hadn't been very nice.

"Pit, there's something we need to ask you." Gaol said. Pit looked at her. "Did anything happen to Perdix during your battle with the lightning sprite?" Pit blinked, confused. "She came back home, but she left the town almost immediately and hasn't been back since."

"What?!" Pit shouted. "No, nothing happened except her getting insulted and hurt, but I saw her the next day!" Magnus looked surprised. Gaol didn't look any different because of her helmet.

"Pit, you have to hurry to the castle!" Palutena reminded him.

"I'll take care of getting there." Gaol said. She must have heard Palutena in the same way as Perdix. "I've been there before, it shouldn't be that hard to teleport us." Palutena kept a mental note that she could still give Pit the power of flight. Pit, Magnus and Gaol were engulfed in dark magic, and the three of them found themselves in Gaol's castle.

Magnus gripped his club and Pit readied his Sonic Cannon. Gaol muttered, "I hate this place."

* * *

"What is this thing?!" Pit exclaimed. A Monoeye was ripped to shreds from the blast of the cannon, but it knit itself back together. The Monoeye was a ghostly white color instead of the normal red, and it was slightly transparent. After shooting Pit a few times, it evaporated into thin air, leaving the angel behind. Magnus swung his club at a white Armin, sending it flying but not dealing any notable damage. It charged and evaporated after missing.

"Lady Palutena, do you know what these are?" Pit asked the goddess of light, hoping for an answer.

"I'm not sure, but they seem like ghosts of enemies. I'll check Divinipedia." Palutena said. Pit dodged a hit from a ghostly Snong. He hadn't been hit by them yet, so he didn't know if they could harm him or not. He didn't test the theory of them not being able to damage anything. Testing became even more pointless after Gaol simply stepped aside for a white Mik's tongue to hit a normal Petribomber.

"Divinipedia has nothing to offer, so I really don't know what they are. I'm sorry I can't help. I feel like seeing the Aurum all over again."

"I guess they're just ghosts of the Underworld Ar- never mind." The last part was because a white Mimicutie pranced into Pit's line of sight. He made quite a show of running wildly.

"How do we defeat them?" Gaol asked her partner. Magnus shrugged.

"I guess we just wait them out." As if to prove his point, Magnus simply dodged around a ghost Bumbledrop, and it disappeared after charging after him twice.

Pit was completely out of breath from running from the dancing ghost Mimicutie. "I liked it better when I could just shoot them..." He mumbled.

"If it makes you feel better, there are some normal monsters over there." Palutena pointed out. Magnus and Gaol destroyed a legion of Koymatos and Syrens. Pit was happy to blast Skuttlers to shreds. Then a white Clubberskull appeared on the battlefield, and the three made a beeline for the exit.

"What _were_ those things?" Gaol asked Pit, hoping for an answer. To her dismay, what she hoped for came from the earth, not the angel.

"The spirits of the defeated. They do whatever they did in life before leaving the Overworld." Kronos told them. "My army, and they're invincible."

Magnus looked around. "Who are you?" He asked.

Pit explained instead of the disembodied voice. "That's Kronos, the titan lord." Kronos chuckled. He sure chuckled a lot.

"I see Viridi must have told you. Now, Hewdraw is waiting outside."

"Outside? How do we get outside?" Pit asked.

"Follow the girl. It is _her_ castle." Gaol probably had a few words to say, but bit them back.

"Over here." Gaol led Pit and Magnus through a few hallways, shooting the Underworld Army with her dark magic. Pit looked inside the throne room where he had fought Gaol alongside Magnus for the first time. It was completely empty. The two humans didn't wait for Pit. He hurried to catch up. The three stepped outside the castle, and Hewdraw was waiting for them.

The blue head said, "Hello! I see you brought food!"

The red head said, "Mmm, you look tasty!"

The violet head said, "I think you'll need some seasoning."

Magnus and Gaol glanced at each other. Pit said, "I'll defeat you again! It's time for-"

"Total annihilation!"  
"Bone-crushing destruction!"  
"Face-stomping carnage! No, not again! We agreed on 'face-stomping carnage'!"

"It was 'total annihilation', dummy!"

"Pretty sure it was 'bone-crushing destruction'..."

"No, it wasn't! Don't argue in front of company!"

"Why do I live like this?"

"Knock it off!"

"YOU knock it off!"

"Just put me out of my misery."

"Shut it!"

"Can we go home and order a pizza? I'm starving."

"No! That's why we've got these guys!" All three heads roared at them.

* * *

The violet head thought that they needed to be more cooked, the red head wanted them dead, and the blue head wanted them raw and alive. As a result, the violet head spewed fire, the red head shot lasers, and the blue head tried to bite them.

"Hey! I want my meat fresh!"

"They need to be cooked!"

"They need to be dead!"

Pit yelled, "I will _not_ be eaten!"

"What about dead?"  
"What about cooked?"

"NO WAY!" Pit fired at the three heads, not caring about which he hit. Magnus seemed irritated that the Hewdraw couldn't be hit with melee.

"I will have my food fresh!" The blue head screamed. He spawned orange balls of light above him. Pit recognized them and shot them down with his cannon. Gaol took a note. Hewdraw crashed to the ground. Magnus had a field day.

"Don't do that!'

"I didn't know!"

"IDIOT!"

"Pit, you need a new plan." Palutena told him. "I'll activate the power of flight." Pit's wings glowed as he took into the air. He whooped with delight. The Sonic Cannon fired onto Hewdraw's three heads mercilessly. But Hewdraw was a boss, meaning that he had a ridiculous amount of health. He rose into the air, beyond Gaol's reach.

* * *

(several minutes later)

"Hey Hewdraw, how are you still alive?" Pit asked.

The violet head answered. "Hades revived us, but we never got to do much."

"No, I meant how are you still alive, I've been shooting you forever!"

The blue head answered. "Hades did his best."

The red head snapped, "Don't ask questions!" Pit stopped asking questions and blasted off the red head with a charged shot.

"Thank you for that." The violet head said.

"You're welcome!" Pit replied. He took down the blue head with a special attack.

"I will eat you!" He said as he fell.

"Thanks for that too. Now I can finally just cook you!" The violet head sprayed Pit with fireballs.

* * *

Magnus and Gaol jumped back to avoid being crushed by the two disembodied heads.

"You'll make a nice appetizer!" The blue head charged at Magnus, who dodged and smacked him the forehead with his club.

"I'll have to get that armor off somehow..." The red head complained upon seeing Gaol.

"No, you won't." Gaol made herself clear by feeding the red head a mouthful of dark magic.

"Ooww! My pretty head!" The blue head whined.

The red head tried to retch without a stomach. "That tasted horrible!"

* * *

"Did I miss you every single time?!" Pit had been shooting the violet head for what seemed like forever, and it still wasn't dead. "You died almost immediately after the others in the game- please don't kill me lady Palutena!" His laurel crown tightened around his head.

"You always save the best for last! I think you'll taste good well-done with a pinch of salt... maybe some pepper..."

"I AM NOT A STEAK!" Pit fired a charged shot. He hit his mark, but so did the Hewdraw. Pit now had a large burn on his leg and was missing a sandal.

"You're nearly done. Just a bit more, then I'll take you home and find some salt and pepper." The head muttered, half to himself.

"Pit, the power of flight is running out." Palutena told him. "Hurry!"

"Cheese wouldn't be so bad either... fried angels wings sound tasty." Pit wondered what kind of menu violet Hewdraw was planning. On second thought, he didn't want to know. He proceeded to take down the last head and body with a powerful special attack.

"Still proud of me?"

* * *

"Eat this!" Magnus thrust his club onto the blue head's jaw. Gaol didn't say anything, she only continued to feed the red head magic, which apparently didn't taste very good.

The red head screamed in rage. "Die already, you deformed Suit of Skuttler!" The blue head wasn't able to make a comment thanks to Magnus's club. Magnus dodged him and bashed his club into the red head's skull, effectively killing it. Gaol spun around and launched a beam of magic that left the speechless blue head without any hope of ever talking again. Right on cue, the body and violet head fell down. So did Pit, but he was fine.

"How disappointing. I was excepting better from Hewdraw. But you still can't deal with my undead army of ghosts." Kronos spoke.

"Pit, we need to cut off Kronos's supply of minions!" Palutena called Pit back to the heavens. The angel barely managed to wave goodbye at Magnus and Gaol.

"See ya later, angel face..."

* * *

Dark Pit and Arlon had managed to convince Zeus into fighting against Kronos. Actually, Arlon had convinced Zeus, Dark Pit hadn't been much help. Good thing the sky god had a strong dislike for the titan lord. Palutena was planning to contact Poseidon soon. The two major gods hated Kronos with a passion, nobody was expecting them to say no. Pit and Dark Pit weren't much help in convincing people, so Palutena and Viridi had decided that they should cut off Kronos's supply of minions. Viridi had the Forces of Nature searching for Kronos's supply of ghosts, and Palutena was using her(self-proclaimed) all seeing eye. The twin angels were hoping to use their pre-boss battle rallying cry again, so Pit was making sure he remembered the words for once. ("Umm, I'm gonna rain death upon you!" Dark Pit mentally smacked himself. Pit didn't have the memory of a goldfish, his memory was worse than a goldfish.)

"Found it!" Viridi exclaimed. "It's the Reaper Fortress!"

Pit paled. "Not there..."

* * *

Writing Hewdraw is sooo much fun. *giggles* But I did have to open Divinipedia(yes, that's real) a lot.

Pit: Why the Reaper Fortress?! Of all the places you could choose, WHY THERE?!

To have some fun. *grins evilly* Y'know, maybe that wasn't just yarn...

Dark Pit: It was just yarn.

*pouts* Hmph.

Viridi: You just gave yourself away. You totally should have said, 'It wasn't yarn, I disguised your lifeline as yarn.' or something along those lines.

*facepalms* Why didn't I think of that?

Palutena: Because you shouldn't do that.

Fine. But there isn't a soul harvest going on, there's gonna be a lot more Reapers. They will be everywhere... not to mention ghosts. Ghost Reapers.. hmm...

Pit: No, please spare me...


	7. You'll Have To Force Me

Reaper Fortress! Go! *points*

Pit: No way! I'm never going to deal with unkillable Reapers again!

Dark Pit: For once, I agree with Pit. If I could shoot them, maybe. But ghost Reapers? Never.

You have to. *points* Over there! I'll give you cookies.

Pit: Still no.

Then I'll hijack Palutena and Viridi's power of flight. *snaps fingers and Pit and Dark Pit's wings glow* Now get going!

Pit and Dark Pit: *get dragged out window by wings*

Perdix: Those locks are working really well. I don't think anyone will be getting in here soon. *hears muffled explosion* Bombs won't work!

Palutena: My all-seeing eye shows me that they're trying to break it with- wait, how did they get a Daybreak?

*glues a cage of cuccos on door* That should work.

Viridi: You must be desperate. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Kid Icarus. But I don't. *cries*

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit were thrown into the middle of the sky. The flight was unsteady, maybe because Palutena and Viridi weren't in control.

"We don't have control over your flight path, so we actually don't know how this will work out." Palutena said nervously.

"Can't you take it back from the author?" Pit asked. He received a headache. "OOWW!" Dark Pit tried to adjust himself and failed miserably. Pit noticed he was empty-handed, even though Dark Pit had his Silver Bow. "Wait, I don't have a weapon!"

"Pit, take this Lancer Staff." The staff spawned in Pit's hand. He grinned, seeing the four stars on range. "Also, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Good boy. And you know I can't take back the power of flight. _Whoever_ took control over your flight path, I doubt _they_ would crash you into a brick wall." Palutena said.

"Don't give _them_ ideas." Dark Pit grumbled. The angels began to fly awkwardly, taking sharp turns about every three seconds.

Pit pointed down. "The ravine's over there."(Thanks, angel boy) He plummeted down the ravine in the most awkward way possible. Dark Pit was not spared from the awkwardness. They began to navigate their way through the ravine. The angels did their best to avoid the stone "branches"(I have no idea what you call those things, but you know what I'm talking about), but either the 'unknown person' was trying to do the same, or trying to help, or just trying to smack them as much as possible. It was actually impossible to tell.

(about two minutes later)

"Are you _trying_ to kill us?" Dark Pit yelled at the air as he swerved away from the, umm... thing. Again.

* * *

Palutena said, "I don't remember the way to the Reaper Fortress. I got lost, remember? So I can't exactly give you directions."

"How exactly are you supposed to be helpful?" Viridi asked.

"Lady Palutena is _very_ helpful, it's just this one time, and Pandora's Labyrinth of Deceit, and with the Aurum- wait..." Pit decided that is was best for Palutena if he stopped talking. He stopped talking.

The air was getting full of Underworld monsters and ghosts. Pit and Dark Pit obliged to shoot the Underworld Army into hearts. The ghosts, they just did their best to dodge. They could be very good at dodging, but right now, they had a handicap of being pulled around by their wings in the most unnatural way possible. You can guess what happened.

"Stop doing that!" Dark Pit yelled after getting hit in the face with the ghost of a Reapette. A normal Keron joined the game of hit-the-angel. The Keron lost the game and was turned into a pile of red hearts.

Pit continued to miss his shots due to the fact that he was flying in circles, getting dragged around by his wings. Once in a while his shots would make contact, but that was about one shot in fifty.

"Pit! I have control over your flight!" Palutena's voice sounded relived. _Somebody_ must have gotten frustrated.

"Sorry to say this, but I'm disappointed. It was funny watching you two floundering around." Viridi might have been joking, but she really sounded disappointed.

"I must agree." Kronos's deep voice echoed through the ravine. "Now, I believe you have a friend who wants to reunite with the dark angel." Dark Pit raised his bow, and the hideous eel-like Soul-Eating Monster flew out of the darkness, glowing the white color of ghosts.

"WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Pit screamed at the top of his lungs. He had been half-dead when Dark Pit had killed the Soul-Eating Monster, so he didn't know it.

"Pit, that's the Soul-Eating Monster." Palutena told him. "I don't like it, but our only option is to fly away."

"I didn't like big ugly before, but now I absolutely hate him." Dark Pit growled. Viridi agreed with him.

As the goddesses took the twin angels away at top speed, with big ugly hot on their heels, Pit noticed that there were less normal monsters and more ghosts than before.

"THERE ARE MORE GHOSTS HERE!" He yelled over the sound of the wind. "WE MUST BE GOING THE RIGHT WAY!"

"Viridi! Let's follow the ghosts!" Palutena didn't have to yell at the top of her voice, because she was talking via telepathy. Must be good to be a goddess. The Soul-Eating Monster tried to chomp down on them, but the angels were fast and swerved away. The hideous devourer of souls changed his tile to the hideous devourer of dust.

"WHY DOESN'T IT GO AWAY?!" Dark Pit demanded. The reason for the volume was either his anger or the wind, possibly both.

"Ghosts last as long as they did in life." Kronos informed them. "Your friend here lived a long and happy one. He'll be gone in, maybe a few years."

"We don't even have a few minutes!" Palutena sounded very worried.

"I see the Reaper Fortress! In you go, Pittoo!" Viridi said.

"Don't call me thaaaaaat!" Pittoo went straight into the fortress, without being spotted by Reapers. Lucky guy.

"Pit! I don't have control!" Pit smashed through the front gate with his face, just like the first time.

He still managed to say, "No don't do it!" The hideous devourer of dust tried to follow his example, but hit the walls.

* * *

"Ouch..." Dark Pit helped his counterpart up.

"At least you didn't break anything." Palutena said with all the cheerfulness she could muster. Pit looked up to see a guillotine slam down in front of his face. At least nobody got hit.

"Thanks, Pittoo!" He said in his usual cheerful tone. Then he remembered where he was and what was there. His face fell.

"Look who arrived. I was hoping to feed you to the eel, but since you're here, I'll prepare a more painful death for you." Kronos said. "Why don't you come to the Great Reaper's chamber?"

"No way!" Pit said.

"Then I wonder where my troops are coming from..." Kronos hinted.

"Why would you tell us where you are summoning your troops? You must be lying." Palutena said.

"Follow my army and see where you find yourself. Also, watch out for Reapers, angels."

Pit looked confused. "Why would you tell us to watch out for Reapers?"

Kronos gave his signature low chuckle. "It would be rude not to. Especially when you can't kill them."

Dark Pit questioned Kronos, "And why would you care about being polite?"

"Basics."

* * *

"No, wait." Pit whispered to his twin. "There was a Reaper here, and I killed it. If it's patrolling the same path-"

"I get it." Dark Pit checked both ways and saw a glowing white Reaper. He waited till it passed, and then the two of them dashed forward into another hallway. This time, Pit didn't remember the presence of a Reaper, and they dashed into it's line of sight. For some reason, a ghost Reaper didn't always summon ghost Reapettes. The Reapettes were completely random. Pit was glad that his Lancer Staff could be put to good use. Then the Reaper decided that it should put it's scythe to good use as well. Neither angel hesitated to leave as soon as possible. They spotted a line of ghostly Monoeyes and snuck around them onto the next door. All the ghosts were coming from one place, and they headed to that unknown place.

* * *

"I don't like this." Palutena said. Following the spirits had led them to the place she had least wanted to see.

The door to the boss room had hot springs on both sides. Pit and Dark Pit both soaked up in one of them. Dark Pit checked the other and instantly left. The Reaper enjoying itself and the weird, purple color was a good enough warning for anyone. Not to mention the steam. That stuff was probably poisonous. After the angels were all healed up, they entered the boss room.

Kronos laughed. "The mouse made it to the cheese."

* * *

 _"Perdix?"_ Pit couldn't believe his eyes. The human girl he had met was in front of him, holding a large book, standing in front of the bones of the Great Reaper.

"Hecate's book of spells." Palutena confirmed what Pit was having trouble believing. "But, how?"

"A perfect copy." Kronos explained. Perdix didn't react to hearing his voice. "She was only curious, and would have contained herself if not for one spell."

"Raising the dead with a mortal? _That's_ how you've been getting your ghosts?" Perdix didn't react to Dark Pit's voice, either. She was in a trance-like state, reading the book.

"Yes, it is. Perdix here has proven to be very useful. She desired to see her family so much, all she needed was a little encouragement. Raising the dead is random, you don't know what you'll find. She's been trying for days." Kronos seemed to find the situation funny.

"You manipulated her. Just like Cragalanche." Dark Pit said.

"No, she's been acting out of free will. I'm just altering her sight and hearing. But the golem was my doing. And I might have pushed her into helping." So that's why Perdix hasn't reacted to anything.

Pit ran up to Perdix as she began to glow with white light. "Perdix! What are you doing?" The brown pigtails fluttered slightly as she jerked her head up. The white light died down as she snapped the book shut with her hand on the cover.

"Pit?" Kronos must have allowed her to see him. That couldn't be good. "I'm doing magic."

"Do you even know where you _are?"_

"Of course I do. This is the Reaper Fortress. I needed to be alone, and it was empty."

"There are Underworld Monsters everywhere! What are you seeing?" Dark Pit joined the conversation.

"You again. I heard that the Forces of Nature stopped attacking us. Got more important business?"

"Yeah. Kronos. We can't waste time fighting humanity. And the ghosts you're summoning are supplying his army!"

Perdix laughed like this was a joke. "Like Kronos would use human ghosts in his army. That's hilarious. The idea of the titan lord being back is pretty far-fetched, too. The gods killed him for good!"

"Perdix, you have to stop summoning the dead! There are more than just humans, there are monsters, too!" Pit was nearly pleading now. "Come on, please don't make us force you!"

"No!" Pit looked surprised at her sudden outburst. "I have to see my family again. And I'm not summoning any monsters!"

Dark Pit was getting very angry. "Kronos has been altering your sight and hearing. You're being his servant!"

Perdix hadn't heard his first comment, but she had heard his second. "I am not anyone's servant! And there's no way you're stopping me from raising the dead! I _have_ to keep trying!"

Palutena sighed. "You can't reason with her. Not when she can't even properly hear you."

"Those humans! They're never helpful!" Viridi said angrily.

Perdix either ignored the goddesses or couldn't hear them. "If you want me to stop summoning ghosts, you'll have to force me!" She opened the book, and the skeleton behind her started to tremble. It stood up, holding a massive scythe. She pointed at Pit and Dark Pit with her staff. "Attack them! Just... don't kill them." The bones of the Great Reaper raised it's scythe. Pedix glared at Pit and Dark Pit one last time. A green light flew out of her staff and circled her like a ribbon would circle a ribbon dancer. The green ribbon of light flew away, and Perdix was no longer standing in her spot.

"This is really bad."

"Don't state the obvious!"

* * *

Pit took the upper floor while Dark Pit took the ground floor. Pit sniped the Great Reaper's skull, and Dark Pit slashed up it's toes.

"Pit, Pittoo, the weak point is the blue heart." Palutena told them.

"Can you even call that pulsating light a heart?" Viridi asked.

Pit aimed his Lancer Staff at the Great Reaper's blue pulsating light/heart. He dashed forward, and fired a charged shot, but he only managed to crack the ribcage. Dark Pit used a jump pad to reach the upper floor.

"Got any ideas on what to do about that ribcage?"

"Not really. Just shoot a lot and don't get-" the Great Reaper's skeleton swung it's scythe, "sliced."

"Thanks a lot, Mr. Helpful."

"That's what a lot of our plans boil down to anyway."

Viridi snorted. "Since when did you have plans?"

"Maybe you could get inside?" Palutena suggested.

Dark Pit jumped back down to the ground floor and started prying the jump pad off the ground. "Distract that big pile of bones!" Pit fired another charged shot and broke one of the ribs. He now had a clear shot. Unfortunately, the big pile of bones focused on Dark Pit, who was still prying the jump pad off. He covered his weak point with his hand, and started to swing his scythe at the ground.

"Hey, bonehead!" Pit dashed off the upper floor and fired a charged shot in midair through the ribcage. The Great Reaper staggered, and turned around to face Pit. He also managed to kick Dark Pit, who had pried the jump pad off. Dark Pit limped over, pulling the pad while Pit used his Lancer Staff and small size to utterly annoy the Reaper.

Dark Pit set the jump pad on the ground, and jumped off it. He had good aim, but the skeleton had started to walk, and he ended up dangling from the very bottom rib. Dark Pit climbed inside the ribcage with great difficulty, and pulled back the bowstring.

"Stay dead this time."

The Great Reaper fell over, once again a lifeless pile of bones. The only difference was that a few were broken.

* * *

"I did not see that coming." Palutena admitted. "Kronos using a mortal to get his troops... and she doesn't even know it. We need a new plan."

"Take the book. Without it, she can't summon the dead." Viridi suggested.

Pit shook his head. "She'd just make a new one."

"Then take the book _and_ the staff. All we have to do is find her." Dark Pit said. He looked pretty happy about having finished the Great Reaper.

"Finding her is easy. But Kronos's ghosts are a problem as well. We need to be able to do something about them." Palutena frowned.

"Ghosts? Arlon managed to persuade Dyntos into helping, and if anyone can make a weapon to deal with ghosts, it's him." Viridi said proudly. "I already asked him, and he said he's up to the challenge, as long as he's got the materials."

Palutena smiled. "Pit, seems like your next mission will be finding materials for Dyntos."

"Got it, lady Palutena!"

* * *

Perdix: I'm back!

Longest chapter I've done so far. That was fun. Ok, gotta check Divinipedia for what Dyntos could want...

Pit: What would hit a ghost anyway?

I'm trying to see if water would do the trick. I need something... I don't want a plot hole. It's gotta make sense.

Dark Pit: Water might work. But it's everywhere, and I don't think that you could put it into a weapon.

Palutena: Salt? Salt rocks aren't the most common thing in the world. It should work.

Maybe. I'll consider it. Now what were ghosts weak to in Greek mythology... this is hard.


	8. River Styx Water

Yes! I've got a great idea!

Pit: Finding salt can't be that hard.

Dark Pit: I don't think it's salt...

It's not. It's _much_ better than that.

Palutena: Well, what is it?

It's a surprise! Also, I gave the chapters names instead of numbers!

Viridi: Whatever. Get started. This is boring.

Perdix: *holding a tray of soda cans* Who wants a drink? This sounds like it'll take a while.

Pit: *raises hand*

Palutena: You should just drink water.

Disclaimer: Think what you want, I'll never own Kid Icarus no matter how much I want to.

* * *

"What do you need, Lord Dyntos?" Palutena asked with a pleasant smile on her face.

"You need to be able to fight ghosts, eh? I'll need water for that. But not just any water. It has to be from the River Styx."

Pit looked exited. "So it's just water from a river? That's too easy!" Palutena shook her head.

"Pit, do you know where the River Styx is?"

"No. Where is it?"

"The Underworld. Go get Thanatos's jewel."

Pit turned a very pale color before running off. Dyntos laughed.

"Wha ha ha ha ho! That stuff will burn away spirits with no problem. There's a reason the dead need a ferry, you know. There _is_ a waterfall of Styx water in the Overworld, but that won't do. We need the actual Underworld water for this business." Palutena vaguely remembered a time where Aphrodite had a mortal girl, Psyche, fetch a jug of Styx water to wash her face. Psyche had found that waterfall, and Zeus had helped her get the water.

"I've got Thanatos's jewel, Lady Palutena." Pit was holding the pink crystal in one hand. He looked rather reluctant to get going for once. He had his Upperdash Arm equipped.

* * *

Pit had never wanted to return to the Underworld. He liked his Upperdash Arm, but he would have preferred the Three Sacred Treasures. But right now he was flying to the Underworld again, getting attacked by monsters that he remembered a little _too_ well. Pit neared the chasm that leaded to the Underworld. The Trailtails started to draw trails behind them, and Pit swerved around to avoid them. He missed the Three Sacred Treasures more than ever. The homing ability of the arrows of light would be very helpful now.

"Pit, I know you don't want to return here. But we have no choice. I promise you that you'll never have to follow this path again." Palutena had a tinge of sadness in her voice. Neither goddess nor servant wanted to see their least favorite place.

"Thanks, Lady Palutena." Pit passed the cave of Shootflies. He didn't miss the Three Sacred Treasures very much now, shooting was pointless with about a hundred Shootflies in his face. He started to wonder why they were flies. They looked more like bats to him.

"Pit! There were Ornes here before, so be careful!" Pit was wary, but not a single Onre made an appearance. He neared the entrance to the Underworld, and the Thanatos's pink jewel began to shine.

"The Underworld." Pit said to himself. He hated the place with a passion, having died multiple times and experienced a lot of pain. Speaking of pain, many Underworld monsters showed up to give their serving of it to Pit. Pit refused. The nearest ones got hit in the face with his Upperdash Arm, and the others were shot with ring projectiles. It relived him of some stress.

"So, why are you here?" Pit looked around in surprise. He half expected to see Kronos in person for the first time. But Kronos's voice was disembodied as usual, and still came from below. However, it was much louder than usual.

"I would never tell you!" Pit didn't want to share anything with the titan lord, especially since he was the main reason Pit back in the Underworld in the first place. His mind jumped to Perdix- Pit wasn't sure what to think about her. She had said they would have to use force her to make her stop summoning ghosts, but to Pit, fighting a human had always seemed _wrong._ Gaol, he hadn't known she was human and felt terrible when he did, and when he fought Magnus and Gaol together, he had purposely tried not to kill them.

"I'll see it eventually. I'm patient." Kronos snapped Pit out of his thoughts.

"Pit, we have to land. We don't have the Wings of Pegasus, remember?" Pit landed on the ground, ready to dodge attacks. He was greeted by five Shemums. He hit them with the red disk of the Upperdash Arm. Syrens started firing whirlwinds at Pit, and they were to far away to shoot. He simply ran for it.

"Where's this River Styx, Lady Palutena?"

"It runs through the Underworld, so just keep walking. You should be able to see it soon."

"Ah, the River Styx. Do you want the Curse of Achilles? Or perhaps you need the water to swear an oath?" Kronos sounded amused. "Nothing will save your gods from punishment, angel. Mount Othrys will once again see it's former light." Pit understood about a fourth of the sentence. He ignored Kronos and trudged forward. The sooner he left the Underworld, the better.

"Pit, take this jug and fill it with water. Be sure not to touch the river. It would burn your body and soul." Pit, despite the warning, felt happy as he saw the burst of light as the jar was teleported to him. The dark Underworld needed some light. Being careful not to let the water touch him, he dipped the jar into the river, letting it fill with water. The River Styx was mere inches away from his skin, and he could feel the cold. He wondered how the River Styx could burn him if it was so cold.

"Now just what are you doing?" A familiar voice said. Pit's fingers nearly dipped into the River Styx, but he whirled around to see a young woman with a long blue ponytail, a light blue and purple corset, and pink eyes with quite a lot of eye shadow. She also had a golden ring fastening her hair in a fashion Pit recognized.

 _"Pandora?!"_ The goddess of deceit was unrecognizable. But Pit knew her voice, and he never wanted to hear it again.

"Why don't you make that 'Lady Pandora', Pit? You call nearly every other goddess 'Lady'." Pandora said. She walked toward him, but Pit tried to hit her with his Arm.

"You're evil!" Pandora pouted at his comment.

"What about Viridi? Is she evil? Do you even _know_ the difference between good and evil?" Pandora smiled in an unnerving way at Pit. He backed away, still holding the jar. "Careful there. You don't want to spill it." She raised a blue sword. "That would be _so_ disappointing. I've been wanting to hear you and your twin scream with pain, and you can't do that with your soul burned away."

* * *

Pandora blew a kiss at Pit, confusing him for a second before it became a heart-shaped projectile. He dodged away after dropping the jar.

"Pit, watch out for that attack. It'll paralyze and weaken you."

Pit dashed at Pandora with his Upperdash Arm, and she parried with her blade.

"How do you know this, Lady Palutena?" Pit asked. He had never seen Pandora like this before.

"Pittoo fought her when he saved you. If he could win, I'm sure you can!"

"Look alive!" Pandora called as she created three round bombs and used melee to send one at Pit. Pit also used melee on a bomb, and they exploded upon meeting in midair.

"That the best you can do?!" Pit taunted as he fired a flurry of rings. This fight with Pandora was much harder than his last one, but it wasn't causing him as much trouble.

"You got me..." Pandora said weakly as she collapsed to the ground.

Pit pumped his fist. "Victory!"

"Just kidding." Pandora spun upwards as she blew six kisses in all directions. One of the hearts smacked into Pit, who had been completely oblivious to the fact that Pandora had tricked him. For a kiss, the heart-shaped projectile had stung a lot. Pit could tell that he had taken a good chunk of damage.

"Present time!" Pandora summoned three treasure chests around Pit. She then dashed at him, sword flashing. Pit tried to dodge, but the nearest treasure chest opened and released a barrage of purple shots. Pit ran as fast as he could, but didn't escape the attack from Pandora's Box. Pandora stood in front of him, her face glowing with certainty that she was victorious.

"Now for those screams." She raised her blue sword and pinned Pit down. She put the sharp blue blade next to his cheek. Pit kept his mouth shut tight, making sure he didn't scream. He would never give Pandora what she wanted. Pit could feel a stinging pain on his face and a warm trickle of blood down his jaw, while the cold metal of Pandora's blade could still be felt on his cheek. She giggled and moved her sword to his left arm, and started to make a new cut.

"Pit! Heavenly Light!" Palutena was the one to scream as she unleashed a bright light down on Pandora. The goddess of deceit yelped in pain as she jumped back away from Pit. He dashed at her, leaving a trail of blood on the ground, and struck her with a melee attack. Pandora was sent flying backwards into the River Styx, and she didn't resurface. The River Styx had claimed another soul.

* * *

Pit felt the bandage on his face as Palutena took the refilled jar to Dyntos. He could hear a hearty laugh from the god of the forge. Dyntos must be satisfied with the water. That was good, Pit had gone through much more than he had expected to get it. Dark Pit and Arlon entered the room with an happy look on their faces. Viridi and Phosphora greeted them. Pit waved. Artemis must have agreed to fight. That was very good, she was a powerful goddess.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" Dark Pit didn't sound concered.

"I met Pandora." Dark Pit made an _oh_ sound. Pit thought about Pandora, how Palutena had said Dark Pit had fought her before. He had never mentioned it. He also thought about how she had questioned whether he could tell the difference between good and evil, and her comment on Viridi. He decided not to think about it to much. You should never listen to the goddess of deceit.

"Pit, we need to locate Perdix now. Kronos must be hiding her, or maybe she's doing it herself."

Dark Pit thought about it. "She's probably doing it. I think she said something about blocking the power of the gods."

Viridi grinned. "Well, nobody knows more about magic than Hecate. She'll need to know about her book, too."

* * *

Water from the River Styx! Good idea, right?

Pit: Yeah, it was great...

Dark Pit: Is the part with Pandora the reason you rated this T?

Yup, and there will be more like this. Very scary threats, stuff that a kid probably couldn't deal with.

Palutena: How old are you exactly?

Old enough to read and write like this without shuddering. Not old enough for M. I won't go any further.

Pit: So we can fight ghosts now? That's great.

Perdix: Sounds cool. And I got more drinks. *holds out a tray of soda, water, juice, and milk* Take your pick.

Viridi: *picks milk*

Palutena: I'll have water.

Pit: Soda!

Palutena: *glares*

Dark Pit: I'm fine.

Perdix: I'll have some juice, then.

Me too. And in the next chapter we'll be revisiting Dark Pit! *sips* I like this stuff. Where'd you get it?

Perdix: Same place we get all the small keys. I think I saw a weird carving there too...

*checks bottle* Aww, nothing. Wait, did you say a weird carving? That's bad... I hope it's not a key...

*door opens*

OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! WHERE ARE THESE THINGS COMING FROM?!

(a few seconds later)

Pit: (looking slightly traumatized)That was scary. I didn't even see who came in...


	9. Like a Moth to a Flame

Hello!

We're both here today!

Pit: Ummm, what?

We should write our names too.

Darby: Like this?

Lauren: Exactly.

Darby: Yeesh. I'm new to this kind of thing.

Lauren: We're in your room today, so I feel new as well.

Viridi: Do you have a good lock?

Darby: No, I don't. Why?

Dark Pit: Let's see how long this takes.

Perdix: 1, 2, 3, 4-

Karin: Hey, why does this have so many chapters?!

Palutena: Four seconds.

Pit: *smacks Karin with a club* And that's the end of you!

Suigetsu: Don't hit my girlfriend! You'll pay for that!

Perdix: Anyone gonna kick this weirdo out? Because if you won't, I will.

Karin: Ouch... Go ahead.

Perdix: Thank you. *hits Suigetsu with staff and kicks him out door*

Karin: Good riddance.

Perdix: Now it's your turn. *levitates Karin out window*

Darby: Umm, I live on floor 22... How often does this happen?

Lauren: She'll live. Don't ask how, they just do. And it happens very often. Pretty much every time. I swear, once I find those small keys...

Darby: *pushes a box of small keys under bed* I hope you find them. *smirks*

Disclaimer: You know what I'm gonna say. I'll say it anyway. I don't own Kid Icarus.

* * *

Pit jumped into the air with his wings glowing blue. Dark Pit closely followed.

"It's nighttime, so your wings will be very easy to spot." Palutena warned them. "Good thing Dyntos infused your weapons with the water from the River Styx."

"Once upon a time, I didn't have to worry about being seen at night. Why is your power of flight blue?" Dark Pit complained.

"Oh, so maybe I should drop you? Want to walk all the way to Hecate?" The two angels could practically see Viridi smirking.

"Why is it so foggy?" Pit questioned. Fog made flying very hard.

"It's because we're nearing Hecate's domain. She's got quite the security system, and this mist will get thicker and thicker as you get closer. And it's only the tip of the iceberg." Palutena told him. "There will be illusions, traps, and more. Hecate can twist reality itself."

"Then why can't you just do your telepathy?" Dark Pit complained. "I can barely see in this fog."

"Hecate's security is _too_ good. We can't contact her telepathically, even if we absolutely need to." Viridi didn't sound happy. "Not the most convenient thing in the world."

"Don't forget to tell her about her book." Palutena reminded them.

The air was practically white at this point. Pit and Dark Pit hoped they were going the right way. Palutena and Viridi guided them through the fog in a straight line. Pit looked next to him and noticed that Dark Pit was now only a blurry black shape. Then even he disappeared as the air got darker. Only the faint blue light of his wings were visible.

"It just got darker!" Pit panicked. He could see orange blurry lights on both sides of him. "Umm..."

"Don't worry. It means you're going the right way. Unfortunately, this is where things get tricky." Palutena said.

"What are those lights?" Pit asked.

"Those are torches. Don't trust them. I nearly got my ponytail cut off the first time I came here!" Viridi huffed at imagining losing her ponytail.

"I lost a good part of my dress." Palutena remarked.

"I don't care. Just lead us the right way." Dark Pit sounded annoyed. Probably because he was annoyed. Pit could almost see the scowl on his face. Almost, because Dark Pit's face was clouded by fog.

Pit kept flying forward and slammed into a wall. Dark Pit didn't, because Viridi had been letting Palutena take the lead.

"I was pretty sure that was a hallway..." Palutena trailed off.

"It was one of Hecate's illusions. No surprise there." said Viridi.

"Then why don't you take the lead?"

"How about no."

"Just take us the right way." Dark Pit groaned. Pit rubbed his bruised shoulder.

"Hey!" Viridi said. "Listen! There are lots of traps here!" It wasn't necessary to see to know that Palutena was glaring at Viridi.

"Don't do that, Viridi. I will find a way to punish you if we are crushed by a wall. Pittoo, careful! The third torch spits fire!"

"Don't call me Pittoo!" Dark Pit snapped as he swerved away from the flames.

"Pit! Heads up!" Viridi warned him. An axe swung in front of Pit's face.

"Isn't that a bit overdone? Ooh! There's a light up ahead!" Pit exclaimed.

"That's not the exit. Or the way we came in... Pit, watch out!" Palutena said. The ghost of a Coral nearly tackled Pit, but he smacked it in it's face- umm, lips, with his Atlas Club. The River Styx water did it's job perfectly.

"Well, look at that. You managed to find a way to fight." Kronos's voice echoed through the fog. "It doesn't matter. My army is unlimited." Kronos proved his point by sending even more ghosts. This time, there were the Forces of Nature, Space Pirates, and Aurum enemies, not just the Underworld Army.

"How did Kronos manage to extend his voice to the domain of a goddess? Hecate's just a minor goddess, but he shouldn't be nearly powerful enough to enter!" said Viridi.

"Then you see my power growing, goddess of nature. You should see that this is a battle you cannot win."

"Thanks for the compliment."

"I still see a chance of victory." Palutena sounded ever so slightly smug.

"Then you shall see that chance die like a flame without oxygen." Kronos growled. "Starting with your angels." A tide of white ghosts came hurtling out of the darkness. Pit swung his Atlas Club and Dark Pit shot arrow after arrow from his Silver Bow. The ghosts sizzled into nothingness as the angels attacked. Pit felt a stinging pain in his back, and he spun around to see a ghost of a human try to stab him with a ghostly knife. Pit couldn't bring himself to attack the human, and it retreated into the darkness. Why did he keep hesitating to fight? They were his enemies!

Dark Pit fired another arrow at a ghost Syren. It burst, and he faced his new enemy.

"Cragalanche?" Sure enough, the golem that he and Phosphora had destroyed a second time was standing in front of his eyes. "Not again..." Cragalanche showed no recognition of Dark Pit in his once-red eyes. He floated over to the angel, who dodged out of the way with a barrel roll. However, Dark Pit didn't counter like usual. Palutena and Viridi still guided the angels with their wings, but the rest of the ghosts were gaining on them.

"You only have a few seconds left! Just a bit more..." Palutena pushed the speed to the limit.

"Hecate!" Viridi shouted, and the place was filled with a orange light. Pit and Dark Pit turned around to see the goddess of magic wielding two torches. They shot white-hot fire, making Cragalanche and the rest of the ghosts leave. Or maybe Kronos was calling them back.

"Come back!" Turns out Kronos was calling them. "We have a lovely surprise for the twin angels." Kronos said the last words with amusement, making Pit not want to know what the "lovely surprise" was.

* * *

"Sorry about the security. Why did you come here? Also, who was that just now?" Hecate asked while healing Pit and Dark Pit. She was good at dividing her focus.

"Kronos. He's back, and we're uniting the gods against him." Pit explained. Hecate's eyes widened.

"Kronos can extend his power here? That isn't good. Soon enough, no place will be safe. I didn't think that the lord of time would grow so quickly. In fact, I didn't expect him to come back at all."

"Also, there are a few things we have to tell you." Dark Pit winced as he moved to face Hecate. "Your book of spells was copied. By a mortal, and Kronos is using her to summon ghosts for his army. We can't reason with her, because Kronos is also altering her sight and hearing." Hecate nodded upon hearing this. She wasn't smiling.

"Can you find Perdix?" Pit asked, forgetting that Hecate didn't know Perdix's name. "We need to stop her. She's not a bad person herself, but she wants to see her family..."

"I understand. This "Perdix" girl... I should be able to find her. But if she is truly a good person, you should hurry. Magic is dangerous for humans." Pit blinked. He had been expecting some sort of test. Gods usually tested people before helping them.

"Why? Perdix or Gaol didn't seem to have any trouble."

"If you draw power from an item, like their staff or armor, it is safer. But that book makes you draw power from yourself. An immortal would be fine, but humans are a different case. If she is familiar with magic, she should know this." Hecate's gaze grew unfocused. "Humans are drawn to the unnatural abilities of magic like a moth to a flame. And have you ever seen what happens when the moth gets too close?"

Pit's eyes widened. "Do you mean...?"

"Like how the fire consumes the bug, the magic will consume,... Perdix." Hecate paused briefly to remember her name. "It will chew away at her mind and drive her to an insane state where she will do nothing but repeat spells until she dies. If that happens, Kronos will have an unlimited army of ghosts."

"Then we have to hurry." Palutena spoke up after being silent. Pit was momentarily shocked that Viridi had managed to not say anything for several minutes.

"Yeah. Kronos can't have any more minions, y'know." The goddess of nature decided to start talking once more. "Also, we didn't break anything! Good job, guys!"

Palutena sighed. "Viridi, you broke _something_."

* * *

Perdix stared at the closed book in front of her. She had summoned more ghosts today, and there were a lot of humans. She had even been reunited with the teacher that used to teach music when she was a child. But she had also summoned a monster. A huge, mechanical monster that fired lasers with triangle-shaped guns and speeded while folding itself before speeding around her spot. It wasn't attacking, but it made her question whether summoning ghosts was the right thing to do.

"I can't risk it, can't I?" She muttered to herself, like she was expecting an answer. The more ghosts she summoned, the sooner she could see her family once again. That was her only reason.

"That's all I want... to see mom and dad... uncle D... everyone..." Perdix was suddenly surprised to realize that she had just called her uncle by the nickname she had used when she was tiny. Everybody would smile when she said that. She'd give anything to see those smiles again. Even risk being consumed.

Her hands reached for the book to open it once more. Like they had a mind of their own.

* * *

Lauren: Wow. I am planning so much right now. I'm even considering a Pokemon fanfic.

Pit: Which generation?

Lauren: 5? I do love Black and White... now lower your pitchforks, haters. I like story, okay? I'm not complimenting the designs.

Perdix: A novelization doesn't sound too bad. Mybe you should give it a try.

Lauren: I think it'll upload about every weekend. I'll probably have to do a playthrough to get it right. And you guys better not invade!

Dark Pit: It's Pit that drags us around. Tell that to him.

Palutena: Pit, you did _what_ now?

Pit: *gulps*

Palutena: No ice cream for a week!

Viridi: What are you, his mom? Not that I'm complaining. He needs to stop with the ice cream.

Pit: But it gives you health...

(For my first reviewer, Martyn! Thanks, that sounds like a great idea! I don't know much about motherly instincts, but I'm definitely going to try that. Thank you!)

(And to all readers, I want to tell you that both me and Darby might get a few things wrong. Actually, make that a lot of things wrong. We have our reasons, so please understand. And I thought I might mention Darby seems to be suffering writer's block more than usual. And this is coming from two people that suffer a lot of writer's block. I just happen to plan my fanfics.)


	10. Good VS Desire

Lauren: I wanted to do this for sooooooooo long! We're finally here! Yay!

Pit: So, today we fight Perdix?

Lauren: *nods* This took about twice as much planning than the other chapters! But I LOVE IT! Pit has the Palutena Bow for the occasion.

Perdix: Let me guess. Pit and Dark Pit are going to fight and beat me? (sarcastic)Sounds fun.

Lauren: Well, I have two scenarios. One is where you lose, the other is where you win and get consumed by magic anyway. The second makes things very difficult(a.k.a. good) with the fight with Kronos. But I like the story that the scenario where you lose gives. It wasn't easy to decide. I'm not exactly scared of killing off characters, y'know.

Perdix: Yikes. Nothing sounds good.

Dark Pit: You're not going to tell us, right?

Lauren: No. Just so you don't know what's coming.

Viridi: Then just start. Stop taking so long.

Palutena: Careful, Viridi. Our godly powers are nothing close to author powers.

Lauren: *shrugs* They're actually quite limited. They only work in certain places on certain people. For example, my author powers have no effect on Darby. But they will effect you, so watch your tongue.

Disclaimer: Is this necessary? I don't think so anymore.

* * *

"Found her!' Hecate called to Palutena. The blonde goddess of magic pointed to a hazy image in mist. Pit looked and saw some sort of structure that resembled a garden of dead plants.

"There? Really?" Palutena asked. The structure looked like no one had touched it for years. Hecate nodded.

"You see, she's put up barriers. I can enter them, but it makes everything blurry. But when I try to see the inside-" Hecate moved her hand in front of the image. It zoomed in wildly, getting even hazier, then suddenly sparks flew and the image was pushed back. "that happens. She's there. Those barriers are made from a spell in my book."

"It doesn't matter. We have the Lightning Chariot. It can break any barrier." Viridi said smugly.

Palutena smiled. "Good. Pit, Pittoo, ready the Lightning Chariot."

"One more thing you should know." Palutena turned to face Hecate. The golden-haired goddess flicked her finger, and the image zoomed out to reveal a ghost. "Kronos's lovely surprise for you. Have fun with the Underworld Gatekeeper."

* * *

"The Underworld Gatekeeper." Dark Pit growled. He had kicked it in the face to take it down before, but that probably wouldn't work this time. Phosphora put a bridle on Lux, while Dark Pit put one on Phos. Pit was doing his best to calm the horses, who were extra skittish today.

"Whoa, guys!' Pit exclaimed as he narrowly dodged a horn from Phos. Dark Pit snarled in frustration, as he tried to put the bridle back on the unicorn's head. "Easy." Phosphora patted Lux's neck, who neighed nervously. She sighed.

"Chariot's ready." She smiled, but it wasn't her usual playful, teasing smile. It felt more sad, worried, and slightly warmer.

"Thanks, Phosphora." Pit thanked the lightning sprite, or lightning flash, whatever you wanted to think. He jumped into the chariot, and Dark Pit did the same.

"Also, ...good luck." Phosphora zipped off before either angel could thank her.

"Phos! Lux! Giddyup!" Dark Pit yelled. The unicorns took off at alarming speeds. Both angels held on tight so they wouldn't fall off. Even Dark Pit, who had ridden the Lightning Chariot more than Pit, wasn't used to these speeds. He only gripped the reins tighter.

"Don't you dare." A feminine voice sounded through their heads.

"Perdix?" Pit asked. "How-? Oh. Telepathy."

"Someone's smart. And even if that horse cart of yours can break through walls, I bet this will hurt!" She said, and stones started to shudder and form walls in front of the chariot.

"Whoa!" Dark Pit pulled the reins to avoid crashing. He guided Phos and Lux through Perdix's maze of floating walls. "How are you even _doing_ that?!" He demanded. Perdix was accurate, and the let's just say that the Lightning Chariot was too fast for it's own good. Fortunately, it was very durable, and not even a crack appeared.

"Lot's of practice. I'm also much stronger with the book of the great goddess Hecate." Perdix said. She had a hint of smugness in her voice.

"Pit! Ghosts!" Viridi warned. Pit did his best to stand up, and pulled back the bowstring on his Palutena Bow. He had originally been thinking about the Virgo Palm, but he liked his Palutena Bow more than any other weapon(the Three Sacred Treasures and the Great Sacred Treasure didn't count, they were destroyed by Hades). He just used others for fun.

"Wait..." Pit wasn't facing Underworld ghosts like usual, they were _humans._ The nearest one lifted a spear. Another raised a javelin.

"Pit, don't hesitate!" Palutena sounded worried. She hated putting Pit in danger, but he was her best warrior. "They want you dead!" Pit let an arrow fly and the ghost with a spear burned away, but Pit couldn't help the terrible feeling of guilt building inside him. He took down another human ghost, trying not to feel bad about himself.

"They're already dead, they're already dead," He chanted to himself. Pit normally took pride in the fact that he protected humans. Even though they were ghosts, he felt like he was slaughtering them. He silently apologized to Magnus and Gaol.

"I didn't know you would do that." Perdix said coldly. "Magnus once told me that there's an angelic hero that protects humans. You, Pit. I guess he was wrong. All you do is take down your enemies."

"What am I, transparent?" Dark Pit asked. "An angelic hero? Seriously?"

Perdix paused for a few seconds. "Isn't that what I'm trying to say? I mean, some protector of humans. Those ghosts have minds of their own! You're practically killing them a second time!" She paused again. "And you're not much better, Dark Pit."

"Hey, I don't like doing this!" Pit complained.

"They're already dead," Perdix chanted, mimicking Pit. "Pretty cold, isn't it?"

Dark Pit snorted. "Right. This is coming from the girl who is summoning ghosts and having them fight for their lives a second time. You sure you have the right to say that?"

Perdix seemed to not have heard about the ghosts. "Do you, Dark Pit? But now that you mention it, I don't think any of us can say that. I mean, all we do is get rid of our enemies."

Pit tilted his head slightly, getting distracted from a mob of ghosts. "What do you mean? I destroy evil. Same goes for Pittoo." He ducked to avoid getting hit with a slingshot(seriously? A slingshot?).

"Don't call me Pittoo."

Perdx giggled. For a second, she actually sounded like a little girl. "Pittoo? It doesn't fit _a_ _t all_."

Palutena spoke up. "What do you mean? It's a great nickname."

Dark Pit managed to glare upwards as he steered the Lightning Chariot. "No, it really isn't. I finally found someone who agrees with me."

"Anyway, what I wanted to say is that neither of you guys are evil. I don't think of myself as evil either. Who would? I just have a goal, that's seeing my family. Your goal is protecting humans, or maybe not. But you guys are being obstacles to me, and obstacles can either be stepped over or pushed over. I'm just pushing you over. Is that evil?" She asked. Her voice wasn't taunting, she sounded more like she was asking a friend a question from across a table, maybe while eating dinner.

"You have a point. Our goal is to protect the celestial balance, and that includes protecting humans." Palutena explained. "Your ways are to unnatural and destructive, and must be stopped."

"Hey, the ghosts are leaving!" Pit pointed out.

"Don't come any closer." Perdix warned. The ground rippled beneath the Lightning Chariot, and suddenly two rocks shot up out of the ground, nearly piercing the bottom of the chariot. "Aww, I missed." She sounded disappointed.

Pit looked into the distance. "I can see it! Wait, is that- Viridi's Reset Bomb Depot?!" Sure enough, the Reset Bomb Depot was now lying on the ground, broken, the color of a wilted flower. "It looks, ...dead."

"If it's dead, you killed it. Seeing my beautiful Depot like this turns my stomach." Viridi said.

"Reset Bomb Depot? I guess learning it's name was an added bonus." Perdix said. "I bet this place was once lush and green... like home..." She was nearly talking to herself.

"Underworld Gatekeeper incoming!" Dark Pit yelled. The mechanical monster zoomed next to the Lightning Chariot, folded up into a jet form. Pit pulled the bowstring.

"Yup, that thing's your problem now!" Perdix sounded half teasing, half panicking. "Get rid of it for me! Thanks!"

* * *

The Underworld Gatekeeper and the Lightning Chariot circled the fallen Depot. Pit shot a charged shot at the triangle-shaped gun that was firing lasers.

"Why does this thing get to use the Triforce and a gun?" He asked.

Palutena sighed. "Pit, once you get home, there will be no video games for a week."

Viridi snickered. "You'd think you're his mom."

The Trifor- sorry, triangle-shaped gun, exploded after another charged shot. Unfortunaly, the Underworld Gatekeeper had a unfair amount of golden triangles. Pit aimed for the next triangle. He had fired rapidly because of the homing ability of the Bow of Light, but this time he didn't have that choice. The machine made two shields that Pit easily destroyed.

"You drive!" Dark Pit thrust the reins into Pit's hands and aimed for another triangle with his Silver Bow. Within a few seconds, the Underworld Gatekeeper covered it's face with it's helmet because all the laser guns were destroyed.

"Now what? We can't just kick it in the face again." Pit asked.

"Don't try to kick it. I told you that wasn't normally that effective." Palutena said.

"You kicked it in the face to kill it?" Viridi and Perdix asked in unison.

"No, that was Pittoo." Pit told them. He imagined them with their mouths hanging open.

"And that _worked?"_ Perdix checked.

"That's how you take out a boss." Dark Pit told her.

"Then why don't you put your weapons in front of the chariot and ram that thing? It's my problem too, so I'm not stopping you." Perdix suggested.

"That sounds like a really bad idea." said Pit. "Lady Palutena? Is there another way to take it out?"

Palutena took about five seconds to answer. "There has to be another way. It's to dangerous. You two could get hurt!"

"In other words, you don't know another way." Viridi summed up. "Do it, guys!"

* * *

"I'M DEFINEITELY GOING TO REGET THIS!" Pit screamed at the top of his lungs as he pulled the reins. Dark Pit placed their bows on the front of the chariot. He proceeded to hide behind the front of the chariot. Phos and Lux stampeded towards the Underworld Gatekeeper, smashing the machine in the face with the two bows with the speed of the Lightning Chariot.

The Underworld Gatekeeper burned away as the Lightning Chariot pierced the barrier around the Reset Bomb Depot.

"Are you okay?" Palutena asked.

"We're fine!" Dark Pit yelled. "Phos and Lux aren't!" The twin unicorns limped as the Lightning Chariot slowed to a halt. Both angels got out and examined the horses.

"Uh-oh." Pit said. "This is bad..."

"I'm taking them back!" Viridi told them. The chariot was covered in a bright light and disappeared. "You guys will have to climb my Depot."

"I'm waiting inside. I'm actually starting to look forward to this." Perdix sounded surprisingly cheerful.

* * *

The Reset Bomb Depot had broken into three large pieces, but it was still easily recognizable. A few entrances were visible.

"I'm not telling you which one I'm in. Come and find me!" Perdix said. She sounded like she was teasing them.

"It's gonna be the last one we check, isn't it." Dark Pit said.

Pit shrugged. "Maybe." He looked at the largest piece. There was only one entrance, and it was pretty high up. "We actually have to climb up there?" He checked the second largest. No entrance at all.

"This probably goes without saying, but Perdix can't be in there." Palutena said. Dark Pit checked the last one. There were two entrances, one on the bottom and one in the middle. He walked over to the one on the bottom.

"It's smaller than it looks. We can't fit." He said after putting an arm inside.

"It looks like something collapsed here." Pit said. "To bad we don't have bombs."

Viridi piped up. "Actually, we do. Bumpety Bombs!" The Bumpety Bomb dropped onto the field and wheeled over to the small entrance. It sat down and blew up.

"I'd hate to be a Bumpety Bomb. They just blow up." Pit said. "It sure made the entrance larger, though."

The sound of clapping rung in his ears. "Bingo! Come find me!" Perdix said.

"Was that supposed to be the first one you checked, or the last one?" Palutena asked.

Dark Pit only shrugged. "Not sure." He entered the Reset Bomb Depot, or just a part of it.

* * *

Navigating the Depot was hard enough. Navigating it while it was tilted sideways was absurdly difficult. Pit and Dark Pit had to walk on walls, doors would open up and make them fall, and even Viridi couldn't help them through due to the new perspective. It wasn't dark, but it was silent and wilted. Everything was wilted. Why did everything have to be wilted?

"Cheerful place." Pit said sarcastically. "It couldn't be any better." He grumbled.

A door that was on the ceiling-, er, opposite wall, taunted him with it's presence. It also happened to be the only door in the room. Dark Pit grabbed vines that were on the floor and started to climb. Pit followed him. As the two got closer to the door, the number of vines decreased. Dark Pit had to stretch his arm as much as he could to grab on. Then he helped Pit up.

"Yeah, yeah, keep going that way. This is reeeeaaaalllllyyyy boring." Perdix complained. "You took a wrong turn over at the room with blue lights."

"That was fifteen minutes ago! You're telling us now?" Dark Pit yelled angrily.

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit returned to the room with blue lighting.

"Okay then. This way-"

"Nope."

"Over here-"

"That's where you came from."

"Then this door-"

"I take back what I said about you being smart."

"Really?!"

"Take the second left."

"Thanks!"

Pit and Dark Pit took the second left hall.

* * *

Pit had been walking so much his legs hurt.

"Umm, are we getting closer?"

"What am I, your guide? You're coming here to fight me! I'm just so bored right now."

"Just tell us where we need to go."

"Third right path, then drop through the hole in the floor."

"This doesn't usually happen with enemies..."

"Well, I'm not an acorn or an eyeball."

Pit and Dark Pit were unable to argue.

* * *

Dark Pit watched as another Bumpety Bomb was sacrificed to move forward.

"What was the point of that? I'm up here."

"You used the window?"

"The room was too small."

"Someone's picky."

"I need an open area to perform magic!"

Dark Pit only shrugged, he had never performed magic like Perdix before.

* * *

"How did we end up here?" Pit and Dark Pit gazed at the amazing view from the exterior of the Depot.

"No idea. We were down there... but now we're up here..."

"I have no idea how you got there either." The goddess of light sounded absolutely dumbfounded.

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit looked at the two doors.

"Where-"

"No clue."

"I didn't even finish the question!"

"I don't recognize this room. I think you took a wrong turn somewhere. My bad."

Dark Pit facepalmed as Pit started to have a verbal sparring contest with Perdix.

* * *

"You're nearly here."

"Great! Can we do our pre-boss battle rallying cry?"

"Your _what?_ "

"Filth of the land, hear our words!"

"And see our actions!"

"I am Pit, servant of the goddess of light!"

"And I am Dark Pit, commander of the forces of nature!"

 **"Together we will rain death upon you!"**

"You want to kill me? Nice battle cry, though."

"You've arrived, Pit!" Palutena informed him.

* * *

"That took _way_ longer than it should have." Perdix complained. She was standing in front of them, frowning like they were late for a class. She had chosen a large room with a lot of broken, ...things that were unrecognizable. She had also charged her outfit. She was wearing what might have been a very tattered sleeveless dress when she was a kid, but it was only the length of a normal tunic.

"I'd like to see you try navigating that place sideways." Pit remarked.

"I did. I'm here!"

"You didn't have a proper destination and found this place randomly. Right?" Dark Pit glared at her. "Also, we took a wrong turn because of _you_."

"Jeez... I'll admit it, okay?" Perdix was very annoyed.

"Weren't you supposed to be fighting?" Viridi asked.

"That conversation took out a lot of fighting spirit. Was that on purpose?" Palutena said.

Perdix shook her head. "Nah. It kind of just happened."

"But we did our pre-boss battle rallying cry..." Pit was complaining now.

* * *

"I've been wanting to try this." Perdix held her copy of the book of Hecate in one hand. She started to glow with a blue light. Pit recognized the shade of blue from the Great Reaper's "heart". He shot an arrow at Perdix, but she deflected it with her staff. She levitated herself into the air and held out her hand.

" _Fight._ "

She spoke the word with a strange confidence. The blue light left her and entered Dark Pit. His eyes flashed before becoming dull.

"Pittoo?" He didn't respond. That wasn't normal. Pittoo, umm, Dark Pit, raised his Silver bow and aimed it at Pit. "Uh-oh." Dark Pit charged forward with a shot, catching Pit.

"Ow! Pittoo, snap out of it!" Dark Pit separated his bow into two blades, and dashed at Pit. Pit parried with his own Palutena Bow, but didn't attack.

Perdix watched from the air. "Aww yeah! Anyone got popcorn?" She said excitedly. Nobody had popcorn.

"Pit, you have to fight him!" Palutena told Pit. "I know you don't want to, but this is for Pittoo! Just like you fought me to save me!"

"But I didn't have to attack you directly!" Pit wailed, still not trying to harm his twin.

"You fought yourself before. This isn't any different!" Viridi snapped.

Pit took a deep breath and looked at Dark Pit in the eye. "Okay... fight him. _Without_ killing him. Just like my body."

Dark Pit was fast, but so was Pit. He found this easier than when he had to borrow Magnus's body. At least, it was easier to dodge. The bad thing was that Dark Pit was much more aggressive than Pit's body. He attacked relentlessly, and Pit kept hesitating to attack his closest ally. Dark Pit dashed forward and fired a charged shot.

"Reflect Barrier!" Always helpful against Dark Pit. The arrows he had shot backfired on the dark angel. Dark Pit simply started to use melee attacks on Pit. Both of their blades clashed, their sounds echoing through the room.

"This is intense." Perdix watched with interest. She had produced popcorn from somewhere and was munching happily.

Pit didn't let his guard down once. Dark Pit was being completely offensive, so Pit dodged around the next melee attack and landed a blow. He was about to attack a second time when he remembered the fight with Dark Pit from several chapters before(Palutena decided not to distract him).

"Mega Laser!" The laser struck Dark Pit again, and the same trick worked twice. He collapsed once more.

"Pittoo! You okay?" Pit ran over to Dark Pit, who was unconscious.

"He'll be fine. Pittoo doesn't take to long to wake up." Viridi reassured him.

"I like playing fair. Two on one wasn't really fair." Perdix explained. "Come on, angel boy." She raised her staff.

"I'll win." Pit vowed. "Good always wins!" He shouted confidently.

"Good always wins against _evil._ " Perdix corrected. "Right now, you're fighting _desire._ What do you think is more powerful?"

* * *

Perdix created walls from the broken materials lying around. She then dashed around them with amazing speed to attack. At first, Pit wondered how she was moving so fast, but then Palutena said that she was slowing time(''Hecate liked to play pranks with it when she was younger'').

 _"This is supposed to be FAIR?!"_

"Hey, I'm not even using all my options. It's more than fair. Maybe you would prefer THIS?!" The sky darkened with storm clouds. Lightning flashed, nearly frying Pit and blowing away a large part of the room. The wall had been completely destroyed, and Pit had a nice view from high up.

"NO WAY!"

"Ok. I'll use the first option then." Perdix slowed time once again, and attacked by summoning a rock out of the ground with her staff.

"What is that, Stone Edge?"(Palutena sighed in the heavens as a crack appeared in the fourth wall. She sent Centurions to fix it) Perdix looked absolutely baffled.

" _What?_ " Pit used her confusion and attacked. "Okay, that's low. I'll get you for that!"

The battlefield was suddenly absurdly hot. Pit could nearly feel his stamina draining rapidly. He had to land another hit _fast_. He separated his bow into blades and charged, but Perdix parried with her staff. She shot white-hot fire with her copy of Hecate's book.

"Ahh! That has got to hurt!" Pit didn't test his theory.

Perdix levitated herself away, and continued to tire out Pit. The angel tried shooting, and it didn't work. His arrows bounced right off her metal staff. This time, Perdix ran straight at Pit. She swung her staff, and Pit blocked her sudden attack. Metal clanged on metal, and Pit swiped at Perdix with both blades. She blocked, then swept the end of the staff under Pit's feet. Pit looked up to see Perdix, ready with the book of spells in one hand, and with her staff pointed at his face. Now wasn't the time, but Pit noticed that Perdix's staff had some sort of plump bird on the end.

"I guess desire wins." Perdix readied white-hot fire. Pit braced himself, hoping that Palutena wouldn't be too sad. He could hear the goddess gasp.

"Not yet." Dark Pit was on his feet, with an arrow ready. He let the arrow fly, and it pierced the copy of Hecate's book of spells, making it fly out of Perdix's hand and out the hole on the wall. Pit glanced at Perdix, who had lost her white fire and was now looking out with a look of utter shock on her face.

"No... Mom... Dad... Everyone..." She fixed her gaze on the angels. Her green eyes changed from sadness, to anger and bitterness.

* * *

Perdix fought with a newfound fury. She shot small blue beams from the plump bird on the end of her staff. Once in a while, the blue energy would take the form of a bird and flutter towards Dark Pit with intent to kill. She seemed more focused on Dark Pit, obviously. Pit pulled on the bowstring and aimed, but Perdix pointed her staff and a pillar of fire erupted from underneath Pit's feet. The angel ignored all logic and dodged _through_ fire pillar. Perdix looked momentarily confused, but she shook it off and fired another blue beam. Pit managed to deflect it on his Palutena Bow.

"Pit, Pittoo, watch out!" Palutena warned them. Perdix slammed her staff on the ground and did her "Stone Edge" thing again. Both angels jumped aside.

"SCREW THESE WALLS!" Perdix screamed. The walls she had created were ripped off the floor and spun around her. Pit and Dark Pit carefully approached the mortal. Perdix backed away, but the angels were faster. Pit and Dark Pit did melee attacks at the same time, knocking Perdix's staff out of her hand. Her eyes widened with disbelief, and she took a step backwards as if to gain her balance. This was her biggest mistake. Perdix stepped out the hole in the wall, and fell, straight into open air.

"Perdix!" Pit and Dark Pit looked outside to see Perdix hanging from a dead vine with one arm. She used her other hand to grab on and looked up to see Pit and Dark Pit with their bows in their hands.

"What? Do it." Nothing happened.

"Just do it! I'm your _enemy!_ " Neither Pit or Dark Pit made a move.

"What are you waiting for?! _Don't look at me like that!_ " Perdix's eyes were still angry and bitter. But they were also sad.

"And I'll see them again..." Perdix whispered to herself. She hadn't meant for anyone but herself to hear it.

"No." It was nearly a mutter.

"What?" Dark Pit looked at his counterpart.

"No. She's made mistakes but she's not a bad person." Pit doubted that he had been more sure about anything.

Perdix's eyes were a mixture of sadness, bitterness, and confusion. "What? What do you-...?" She couldn't get herself to say _mean._

"Pit, we need to make sure Kronos can't alter her again." Palutena granted Pit the power of flight, and Viridi did the same for Dark Pit. They flew next to the mortal girl.

"What are you do-" Pit, Dark Pit, and Perdix were all called to the heavens.

* * *

Lauren: Ummm...

Palutena: What?

Lauren: I don't know who, or how, but during science class somebody managed to blow up a sink.

Pit: What? They give you bombs?

Dark Pit: Of course not.

Lauren: Don't ask how, it just happened. Like this ridiculously long chapter.

Perdix: I was wondering when you would bring that up. It's way to long.

Lauren: If you read all the way here, thanks for your patience with me!

Viridi: I'm pretty sure that goes for all of us.

Lauren: I liked this scenario more, sooo, I'm gonna have a lot of fun soon! See ya!


	11. New Ally

Lauren: Zzz...

Pit: This is a great chance for payback...

Palutena: Don't you dare. She'll get back at you with twice the power.

Viridi: No, do it. Let's see this.

Pit: She doesn't like pink, right? Let's give her a makeover!

(few seconds later)

Perdix: *hands Pit a bucket of pink paint* This is a really bad idea. Do it anyway.

Dark Pit: This was your idea.

(few seconds later)

Lauren: My hair is _pink?!_ *washes it off with author powers* It was Pit's idea, right?

Viridi: Yes. It was.

Lauren: *snaps fingers* That's good.

Pit: Hey! My tunic!

Dark Pit: Keep it that way.

Viridi: *laughs* Yeah! Nice pink tunic!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kid Icarus. Zzz...

* * *

Seeing a god for the first time was a shocking experience. Seeing multiple gods at once wasn't better. Seeing multiple gods in one place without any warning whatsoever could be pretty bad for someone's sanity. So you can guess how Perdix reacted upon getting warped to Skyworld. She proceeded to freak out, and nobody could blame her. It was quite a sight seeing her face as white as Pit's tunic while she unsuccessfully tried to string words into a sentence.

"Umm..." Pit was used to entering Skyworld, but Perdix freaking out made him unsure of what to do. Dyntos made things slightly more awkward by flicking his wrist and putting Perdix to sleep. Dark Pit stared at the now unmoving girl on the floor.

"Let's see..." Palutena walked over to Perdix and a few centurions flew in and propped her up. A blackish smoke drifted out of Perdix's closed eyes and ears.

"What was that?" Pit asked as the smoke gathered in Palutena's palm and dissapeared.

"That was Kronos's power. I had my own power to enter her and push it out. In other words, I used my power of purification." Palutena explained.

"Now what?" Dark Pit asked. Viridi glanced at Palutena.

"You brought the human here." Viridi said to the goddess of light. "What are you going to do? Drop her off in the Overworld?"

Palutena seemed to consider it. "She should know what happened. Tell her, then send her back. Pit, Pittoo, get some rest. You've been through a lot." Pit didn't need to be told twice. He trudged over to his room, fell face-forward on his bed, and fell asleep.

* * *

"Pit, wake up." Palutena gently shook the angel awake. Pit rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Good morning. Had a nice sleep?"

"Good... morning, Lady Palutena... wait, _morning?!"_ Pit was wide awake as he jumped up. Palutena stood up as well.

"You were so tired, I didn't want to wake you." Palutena gave the angel a reassuring smile. Pit overslept once in a while, but he didn't usually get to much sleep in the middle of a war. "Let's have breakfast."

* * *

Thankfully, Palutena wasn't the cook. The breakfast was cereal. Pit was thankful for something besides Palutena's cooking, which was absolutely horrible, even if nobody dared to tell Palutena that.

"Hey, look." Pit looked up from his bowl of cereal and turned his head in the direction Dark Pit was pointing. Perdix was glaring at a centurion that was holding her staff. Her wrists were chained behind her back. Her eyes darted over to the gods nervously and she shrunk noticeably.

 _"What? Do it."_

 _"Just do it! I'm your enemy!"_

 _"And I'll see them again..."_

Perdix's words flashed through Pit's mind. He gestured to her to walk over. They made eye contact, but Perdix didn't budge. Dark Pit looked uncomfortable. Nobody knew what to make of the mortal girl. The centurion nudged her over to the seat next to Pit. The angel couldn't help but think that Perdix looked so... weak. No, the word was _fragile._ All the gods radiated a aura of power, but none of the three came anywhere close.

"What's with the bracelets?" Pit asked. Maybe he could get her to talk.

"... I panicked. They took my staff." She took a while to speak. "It's kind of important to me." Perdix refused to make eye contact with Pit or Dark Pit.

"So, Kronos used me?" Dark Pit nodded to confirm it. "What do you think is going to happen?"

"I don't know." Pit said. "Pittoo?"

"That's the last time I'm going to hear Pittoo. And Palutena said she would drop you off in the Overworld."

"Hello there, sonny! And hello to your twin as well!" Perdix shrunk again as Dyntos walked over with a bowl of cereal in hand. The god of the forge didn't notice her.

"Lord Dyntos! Is there something you want to talk about?" Pit knew that you always have to be polite to gods for various reasons. Nobody knew how powerful Dyntos really was, but nobody took chances. Not even Dark Pit would, he bowed to the god.

"No, just wanted to step in." He looked at Perdix. "Aren't you going to address the god of the forge, whippersnapper?" Perdix's head jerked up violently and Dyntos chuckled at her nervousness.

"H-hello, Lord Dyntos. It's an honor to meet you in person."

"I see you're quite the crafter! No need to be nervous, that's a good thing." Dyntos pointed to a little figure in Perdix's hands. She held it up slightly. It was a bird, the same kind of bird on her staff.

"Thank you, Lord Dyntos." Perdix turned the little bird figure with her fingers. Dyntos chuckled and walked away.

"What kind of bird is that?" Pit hoped that some small talk would open her up.

"It's a partridge. I always liked them, even though they're bad at flying."

"Sounds familiar. Wings are supposed to make you fly." Dark Pit said, not exactly paying a lot of attention.

Pit thought about it. "Maybe they're afraid of falling?" He suggested. This made a small smile appear on Perdix's face.

"I used to think that way when I was a kid. Now, I think the wings are too small."

"Maybe our wings are too small." Pit wondered. "I never thought about that."

"You made that yourself?" Dark Pit asked.

"Yeah. I like crafting."

He nodded. "It's pretty good."

"Thanks."

"Wait, is that why you're good at creation magic?" Pit checked.

"I guess. Creation magic is just what you would do with your own hands, just faster and less tiring." Perdix explained.

"So, you could have made all those walls yourself. And that road." Perdix nodded.

"That's some skill." Dark Pit wasn't usually one to compliment others, but it slipped out of him.

Perdix shrugged. She was getting slightly more comfortable. "It's in my blood."

"What do you mean?" Pit asked. Dark Pit looked at him like _You_ _don't know?_

"It's a little weird... I'm descended from a handkerchief."

"Wait, _what?"_

"I don't know the details, but one of Lady Palutena's handkerchiefs became a mortal with Lord Dyntos's help. That's my great-great-grandfather. Don't ask."

"Umm, okay?"

Pit and Dark Pit glanced at Dyntos and Palutena. The god of the forge and the goddess of light, somehow resulting with a line of mortals that were apparently great at crafting.

"No wonder your sanity is holding up. I bet you could cope with anything." Dark Pit said. Pit nodded. Perdix only shrugged.

"Pit." Palutena walked over to them, causing Perdix to shrink again. Palutena noticed this. "What happened wasn't your fault." She said, her face showing sympathy. "You wanted to see your family, and that's something we can all relate to." Perdix slightly raised her head upon hearing this.

"Anyway, Kronos still has a plan. The titans are climbing out of Tartarus. They've been sneaky, and I heard that four of them already escaped. Without Thanatos or Hades to keep those titans in check, we'll have to force them back into that prison." Palutena said.

Pit and Dark Pit stood up. Viridi walked over, accompanied by a god with wings sprouting out of his helmet. Hermes, the god of(take a deep breath) merchants, ambassadors, thieves, drifters, commerce, languages, eloquent speaking, feasts, hospitality, guard dogs, birds of omen, gymnastics, and athletic competitions.(dear lazy people, you didn't bother to read that all, did you? Good job. I'm not sure about some of them though)

"Hey, Palutena. The four titans that escaped are Hyperion, Krios, Iapetus, and Koios." Hermes said. "I'll find them, but it shouldn't take a while. You know where they went."

Palutena nodded. "Of course I do. East, south, west, and north. All we have to do is pick one at a time. But it just had to be _those_ four, didn't it."

Pit blinked. "Why? What's different from the other titans?"

Hermes frowned, like he'd overestimated Pit(he probably did). "Those four are the most powerful titan warriors. Only Kronos and Atlas come close in strength. Speaking of Atlas, he's free as well. Take your pick, he's got to recover first."

Pit blinked again. "Recover from what?"

Viridi groaned. "Palutena, what did you teach this guy? Atlas has been holding up the sky!"

Dark Pit crossed his arms. "If he was holding up the sky, how'd he get out?"

"That's what we all want to know." Viridi told him.

Palutena bit her lip. "We'll stop more from coming out first. Then we'll deal with the four."

Perdix stood up. "I want to help." Pit, Dark Pit, Palutena, Hermes, and Viridi all stared at her. "What? I supplied Kronos with an army, I want to make up for that."

"Uh, but you're _human_." Pit pointed out. Perdix gave him a glare like a mega laser.

 _"So what?"_

"You could die, kid." Hermes said. "Mortals die pretty easily."

"Not to mention, what are you going to do against a titan? Those things have power to rival the gods." Palutena pointed out.

"Oh, then how are Pit and Dark Pit any different? Sure, I'm mortal. I don't care. Sure, they can crush me. I don't care. Everything you're saying applies to these two just fine, and you don't seem to be hesitating to send them into battle!" Perdix said angrily. Palutena flinched. She didn't want to send either Pit or Dark Pit into battle much. She hated to think about what might happen to them.

"Even if you say no, I'm just going to fight anyway, because that's what we _mortals_ do. Fight for our lives. It's just either you accepting it or not."

"You've got a point." Viridi frowned. She wasn't happy about being in the presence of a mortal, but she couldn't argue with Perdix.

"Eh, she's right. Those mortals always fight for life, 'cause it's precious." Hermes flew away.

Palutena looked at the girl. Hermes was right. Palutena didn't want to admit it, but Perdix was going to fight, and she couldn't stop it. Palutena nodded. Pit and Dark Pit only stared.

Perdix was smiling, but her eyes burned with a familiar fury. "Good. That guy used me like a tool, so now I can take this personally."

* * *

Lauren: Hey Perdix.

Perdix: Yeah?

Lauren: I thought this had the best story, so I changed a lot of my plans, you know. I was going to kill you last chapter.

Perdix: What?!

Pit: I knew those vines were a little too conveniently placed...

Dark Pit: You got too creative?

Lauren: I kept getting ideas. I liked them, so here we are. Also, I changed the locks, so no small keys are going to work.

Viridi: What locks are those? They're so unnatural.

Lauren: Totally.

Palutena: Those are lockjaws. You need an Exorcism Key to open it.

Pit: A what?

Palutena: An Exorcism Key. An Exorcism Arrow tied to a key.

Pit: *takes a note*


	12. Friend or Foe?

Lauren: Ok... I honestly don't know how this will work.

Pit: But you're the _author_. Don't you know everything?

Lauren: I have several different plots. I'll just pick one randomly... *closes eyes and picks up a piece of paper* Umm,... wrong paper. That's one of the Zelda chapters. Ok. It's the right pouch this time. *closes eyes and picks another piece of paper* Oh. This one... Yeah, I guess it works. Never seen someone do this before.

Dark Pit: You better have done something good.

Lauren: I hope so.

Palutena: You hope so?

Viridi: This lock is trying to _lick_ me!

Lauren: Okay... maybe this was a bad idea.

Perdix: Maybe? It's a very bad idea. It's a literal monster!

Disclaimer: I will own Kid Icarus sometime in the faraway future. Probably in another life.

* * *

"Pit, the titans are climbing out of their prison. But only the gods of the Underworld like Hades or Medusa can keep them in check, and they've all been defeated." Palutena said.

Pit tilted his head. "So what are we going to do?" Perdix and Dark Pit were listening.

"We'll have to get their help. We can't keep them away forever, only Hades or Medusa could do that."

"So, we need one of them to help us."

"Yes."

"They tried to kill me. Multiple times."

"Yes."

"Are you sure this will work?"

"No, but we don't have another choice."

"Then I'll do it, Lady Palutena." Pit said reluctantly. He didn't like the Underworld, the Underworld Army, or the gods of the Underworld.

Perdix clapped to get attention. "Excuse me, but do they even have a reason to help us? Also, how are you planning to find either one of them if they're defeated?"

"That's where things get complicated." Viridi said. "Medusa did fight Hades and save Pit's life, but she might not do it now. Hades-"

"No. Never." Perdix snapped. "I tolerate a lot of things, but I'll never work with Hades. Ever."

"Fine. I'd prefer Medusa anyway. But Hades also has reasons to work with us, and he was one of the gods who defeated Kronos in the first place." Viridi said.

"You're still not telling us how we're supposed to find those gods." Dark Pit growled.

"I'm not sure about Hades, but Medusa can be resurrected." Palutena said. "If we go to the place where she fought Hades, we should be able to bring her back." Palutena and Viridi led Pit and Dark Pit toward the final battleground that had been shared by Pit, Hades, and Medusa. Perdix looked at the nearby town, the lone strip of land, and the golden sky.

"How are we going to resurrect Medusa? We're not going to use souls, are we?" Pit asked. He didn't know much about resurrection.

"I got us some help." Palutena said happily. "Meet Asclepius!"

"Hello there! I'm Asclepius, son of Pyrrhon, god of healing!" A very happy voice sounded through everyone's head. "I don't usually do this, but if it's for defeating Kronos, I'll revive the dead!" Asclepius was a little too cheerful, even for Pit.

"Asclepius is an amazing healer, he can revive the dead." Viridi explained. "Medusa will be back at full power!"

"And that's supposed to be a good thing, right?" Pit asked.

"Isn't it? I was once a demigod, but Zeus killed me for reviving the dead too much. But I was made a god! Dad was so proud."

"You sound very happy for a dead guy." Dark Pit muttered.

"I recovered."

"We're sidetracking. Aren't we here to revive Medusa?" Perdix got everybody back on track.

* * *

"Here it comes! One goddess of darkness, coming right up!" Asclepius cried and the ground began to shake.

A single, orange, snake slithered out of the ground. Then it was followed by a green one. And another, and another, and another, until twelve snakes in total were hissing angrily from long, silky black hair. Medusa stood up, and her eyes glowed bright blue as they locked onto Pit, Dark Pit, and Perdix.

" _You_ of all people have revived me? Why?" The goddess of darkness hissed. Her purple and red dress flowed as she walked towards them.

"Actually, you can thank _me_ for reviving you, Medusa. I see you've become more beautiful than I remembered." Asclepius kept his happy tone while talking to Medusa.

"Asclepius? Palutena, I need your reasons for this. I am no puppet."

"Kronos has regained consciousness. His titans are climbing out of Tartarus, and I was hoping you would stop them." Palutena said. She sounded nervous.

"You want me to help you? _After what you did to me?_ Palutena, as much as I hate you," Medusa paused, "Kronos and his titans cannot escape their prison. Very well. I will make sure nobody escapes, but after this, I will finish what I started." Medusa warned. "We are allies, for now."

"You're actually going to help?" Pit asked in disbelief. Medusa was one of his greatest enemies, Pit hadn't been expecting her to agree so easily.

"I see you haven't gotten any smarter. Yes, Kronos is the greatest enemy of the gods. Defeating him is our number-one priority." Medusa snarled. "What did Palutena teach you?"

"Don't insult Lady Palutena!"

"We did what we had to. So no more titans are going to be climbing out of wherever they are, right?" Perdix looked at Medusa for an answer.

"Who are you, human?"

"I have a name, it's Perdix." Her lips curled into a snarl. "Not _human."_

"Hmph. I have to work with a mere mortal? I shall tolerate it, for now. Yes, no more titans will be crawling out of that disgusting pit." Perdix opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off upon being called to the heavens.

* * *

Back at Skyworld, Palutena and Medusa were regarding each other. Palutena looked somewhat intimidated, and Medusa had a look of pure distaste in her eyes.

"They look like two cats getting ready to fight." Perdix muttered. "This had better work."

Pit didn't dare move. "I've never teamed up with Medusa before. How do we know she won't betray us?"

"We don't." said Dark Pit. "That's why this is so risky. I don't like it."

"Pit. Dark Pit. Perdix. Now that the titans cannot escape their prison, we have to take care of the ones that escaped their punishment." Palutena said. "We'll start with Koios, Titan of the North. Hermes found him, but I'll warn you." Palutena looked at them with worry in her eyes. "Koios won't be easy to beat."

"You have the Underworld, Nature, and Heavens by your side." Medusa said. "Force Koios back into his prison. Forever." A door opened, and Pit, Dark Pit, and Perdix all were dropped into the sky.

* * *

Palutena and Medusa stood next to each other, staring far away. The former co-rulers of Angel Land and Skyworld didn't know what to do. Palutena decided to get Medusa to talk.

"Remember when we used to rule this place together?" Palutena asked.

Medusa looked into the horizon. "Yes. I do. You and I used to be like sisters, before you turned me into a monster." Her eyes glazed over. "I never thought I'd be here with you again."

Palutena looked rather sad. "Do you think it's possible for us to be like that again?" She asked. "I wish we could..."

Medusa didn't look at Palutena. "No, I don't. I'm only here to defeat Kronos, nothing more." She glanced at Palutena for a breif second. "But it does bring back memories."

Palutena and Medusa stood together, watching down from the heavens. Palutena looked at Medusa sadly. Medusa turned her head away. Palutena sighed.

"Is he still like a son to you?"

"What?" Palutena was alarmed by Medusa's sudden question.

"Pit. Is he still like a son to you? I remember when you first found him as a baby, you treated him like your own. And now," Medusa's blue eyes met Palutena's green ones, "seeing him together with friends, you look as proud and worried as a mother would be."

Palutena looked down at the white angel. She wasn't letting him hear this conversation, so Pit was talking to Dark Pit, who was arguing with Perdix about something.

"Yes. He feels like my own child, not just the captain of my army."

"I knew it. That's why you look so sad while sending him into battle. No mother would want that. I didn't want it either." Medusa's hands clenched into fists. "Chrysaor..." She muttered, not knowing that Palutena could faintly hear her. Palutena decieded not to question it.

"I think it might be possible for us to be friends again, Medusa." Palutena said. Medusa didn't answer. "Just maybe."

* * *

Pit: Are you crazy?

Lauren: Okay... let's see how this one turns out. Easily the most dangerous decision I've made so far.

Dark Pit: You don't know how this will work, do you?

Lauren: Nope.

Perdix: Can you choose a plot, and stick to it?

Lauren: *blinks* But I did. I am now the only person who knows what's gonna happen.

Palutena: So, you've chosen a plot?

Medusa: Obviously. Weren't you listening, Palutena?

Viridi: This room is getting kinda crowded...

Lauren: It's okay. No one else should be coming in. ...Probably.

Pit: This is familliar.

Perdix: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

(about five minutes later)

Perdix: Huh. Guess you got a good lock this time.


	13. Titan of the North

Lauren: Maybe I should have used different locks...

Viridi: You're figuring that out _now?_

Dark Pit: Your new locks bite? What are those monsters?

Medusa: They seem fine.

Palutena: Lockjaws are small demons that keep doors closed. *gets bitten by lockjaw* Ow!

Pit: Lady Palutena! Are you okay?

Lauren: Huh. Bad lockjaw! But I doubt that anyone can find Exorcism Keys. Exorcism Arrows are rare enough.

Perdix: Exorcism Arrows? What universe are those from?

Lauren: The 'Ōkami' universe. Sorry if you don't know it.

Perdix: 'Ōkami'... I'll keep that in mind...

(fourth wall cracks)

Palutena: Centurions! Fix that wall!

Medusa: They'll probably break it.

Lauren: It should have fallen apart years ago.

Disclaimer: I'll own Kid Icarus in the next life.

* * *

Pit, Dark Pit, and Perdix jumped into the air. Pit and Dark Pit's wings started to glow, and Perdix levitated herself.

"Lady Palutena? Where are we going?" Pit asked. No answer. "Lady Palutena? Why isn't she answering?" He asked the others. Dark Pit and Perdix both shrugged.

"I guess she's having an important conversation." Perdix said. "But I just have to say, that is the weirdest weapon I have ever seen." She guestured to Pit's Midnight Palm.

Dark Pit ignored her last comment. "You sure? Medusa comes in, and suddenly Palutena isn't talking. Weird, right?"

"You don't trust Medusa, do you." Perdix glanced at him. "You don't even trust me, right?"

"You tried to kill us. So did Medusa. Why would I trust either of you?" Dark Pit glared at Perdix. "Give me one reason."

"I personally don't trust Medusa either, but against Kronos, you'll need all the help you can get." She was saying 'you', and not 'we'. "That includes me and Medusa." She thought for a few seconds and added, "I also have no interest in letting a titan lord run around wreaking havoc."

"That's not an answer to my question."

"Exactly. I'm telling you that you shouldn't question it." This gave birth to an argument about Dark Pit having the right to hear an answer to his question, while Perdix said that there was no reason to have a question in the first place.

Pit questioned it. He couldn't think of a reason for Perdix or Medusa to be on Kronos's side. But he could easily imagine them turning around and attacking. But a human or a goddess working under, or with, a titan sounded pretty strange. But Perdix hadn't even been manipulated, and Medusa had said that she would finish what she had started. Everything just sounded so... _risky._

He called his twin. "Hey, Pittoo."

"What did I say about that name?" Dark Pit snapped, still irritated by the fact that Perdix wasn't giving him a proper answer.

"Is Viridi talking?"

"No. That's weird."

"Oh, so _now_ you remember me? Thanks a lot, guys." Viridi snapped. "Palutena's talking with Medusa right now, so I'll fill you in with everything you have to know."

"And we can trust this info, right?" Pit asked nervously. "You're not setting us up?"

"Figure that out for yourself." She said smugly. "And we're not going _somewhere,_ we're going to _someone._ Koios, the Titan of the North."

"So we need to find this guy, and take him down." Dark Pit summarized. "Sounds easy enough."

Perdix groaned. "You just jinxed it."

"Finding him's the easy part. Titans are immortal. They can't be killed. That's why you need to get Koios back into the Underworld. And he's not going down without a fight." Viridi said. Perdix gave Dark Pit a look that said, _'What did I say?'_

"I'll open up a gap into the Underworld." Medusa's voice rang through Pit's head. "Once you get the chance, knock Koios inside. Don't. Mess. Up."

Palutena joined the conversation. "Pit, Koios is very proud. He's Pyrrhon's grandfather, he should take taunts very seriously. Use that to your advantage if you can."

"So you're saying that making a titan angrier can be a _good_ thing?" Pit asked. He prefered not being attacked at all.

Perdix cocked her head. "If he's mad, he'll probably move around more. Maybe that's a good thing."

Dark Pit looked up. "And you can't just open the ground under him?" He asked Medusa.

"No."

"I guess it's the same reason Viridi couldn't just set up the electro-trap right under the Chaos Kin." Dark Pit grumbled.

"Of course. It has to be _challenging._ " Viridi snickered.

"But that was a game, this is a fiction." Pit said, not remembering Palutena. The laurel crown squeezed his head, and Pit got a good headache for the first time in a while. "OW OW OW OW OW!"

Palutena sighed. "And I thought you were improving."

"Look! Underworld monsters!" Perdix yelped. "Why are they attacking? Medusa's on our side." Pit shrugged and proceeded to shoot the Monoeyes and Specknoses into hearts. The homing on the Midnight Palm was proving to be very useful.

Medusa growled. "That Kronos. He can gain control over beings with weaker willpower. Those aren't my troops."

"So he controled Cragalanche. That's why he attacked." Viridi said.

"You're just figuring that out?" Medusa muttered.

"No, of course I knew!" Viridi piped up. "What, do you think I'm Pit?"

"Hey!" The angel protested.

"You have to walk now. Don't worry, it's not far." said Palutena.

* * *

"You should be able to see Koios now." Viridi said. Sure enough, the Titan of the North was sitting on the ground with his back turned. He was wearing full battle armor, had short silvery hair, and was scraping some sort of metal on a rock.

"Please don't tell me he's sharpening a sword." Palutena said.

"No way. That's not fair at all!" Pit exclaimed. Koios was _massive._ Even bigger than Hades. He looked at Perdix. "You can't just levitate him, right?"

Perdix looked at Koios like she was measuring him. "Probably not. I can only levitate things that are light enough. Living creatures are harder, that guy's huge, wearing full armor, and very much alive." She shook her head sadly. "I mean, I _could_ levitate him, but I'd collapse from exhaustion in about five seconds. Sorry for my lack of experience. Gaol could probably do it..."

"So those rocks weren't heavy enough?" Dark Pit asked. Perdix nodded.

"So we need to fight that guy like this?" Pit asked.

Palutena nodded before remembering that they couldn't see her. "Yes."

"By pushing him around."

"Yes."

"Even though he probably weighs a ton?"

"Palutena wasn't kidding when she said that you could be pretty thick." Medusa grumbled. "Yes, you have to!"

"Who's there?" Koios turned around, and saw three tiny specks on the ground. "It seems that some flies have come to buzz around my head." Now that Koios was facing them, Pit could see that he had cold eyes and a smug smile. Pyrrhon's smile. He was also wearing a helmet shaped like a bear head.

 _"Flies?!_ Okay, _he needs to die!"_ Perdix still couldn't stand being insulted. Koios couldn't hear her over the sound of scraping metal. It turned out, to Palutena's horror, he was sharpening a blade that was the size of the front doors to Olympus.

"Stop buzzing, little flies. Otherwise I can't be awesome while helping Kronos destroy Olympus. Krios will be so pissed when I look so much cooler than him." He muttered. "Wait, is that, an _angel?"_ Koios's eyes focused on Pit and Dark Pit. "You'll make a nice snack. I was getting hungry."

 _"Whaaaaaat?"_ Pit yelled. "I am _not_ a snack!" He realized that this was the time for his battle cry. "Underling of Kronos sitting befo-"

"Actually, it's 'brother of Kronos'. I'm his big brother. Kronos is the youngest. Go on." Pit blinked.

"Umm, okay? Brother of Kronos, sitting before me! It's time for you to atone for your crimes! I-"

"I didn't do anything yet."

"What?"

"I didn't do anything. Yet." Koios spoke slowly, like he'd overestimated Pit's intelligence. Which he probably had. "I came back a few days ago after atoning for my crimes, so there's no reason for me to atone for them again."

"You said 'yet'." Perdix pointed out. "That means you're going to do something bad."

"Well, you did hear me talking about destroying Olympus, little ange- hmm? No wings?" Koios scratched his chin. "A human? Now that's rare. Consider it an honor to meet Koios, the great Titan of the North. Kronos is busy right now, so you can't meet him."

"It is _not_ an honor to meet an idiot who's blind enough to think that I'm a _fly!"_ Perdix hissed.

Koios ignored her. "Angel. Continue." Perdix looked like she was ready to explode. Dark Pit's jaw was hanging open.

"This is weird. I'll just do it from the start then. Brother of Kronos, sitting before me! It's time for you to, ...uh, resume your punishment! I am Pit, servant of the goddess of light! And-" before Pit could say _'You. Are. History'_ , Koios cut in. _Again._

"Why would you say that you're somebody's servant? That's not anything to be proud of." Pit froze and stared at Koios blankly.

"I give up." He sighed while Dark Pit and Perdix collectively facepalmed. Up in the heavens, so did Palutena, Viridi, Medusa, and all the other gods present.

"Oh, was that a battle cry? Sorry. Let's get started! You are no match, for KOIOS!" Koios struck a battle pose.

"Now I know where Pyrrhon gets that from." Pit muttered.

* * *

Koios swung his blade, and everyone ran away. The good thing was that he was slow, being gigantic. The bad thing was that his blade was big enough for him, so it was hard to get out of the way.

"THIS IS NOT FAIR!" Pit screamed as he shot crescent-shaped shots from his Midnight Palm. Koios focused on him and Pit stopped firing to panic and run.

"What were those, _paper?_ " Koios taunted. "A tree could do better!" Dark Pit ran over to Perdix, who tried to sear Koios's feet with a pillar of fire. The titan smiled and commented about the "warmth for his feet".

"Levitate me."

"What?"

"We need a better shot. I can taunt him, I can attack him. Levitate me!" Dark Pit demanded. Perdix shrugged and Dark Pit rose into the air. "Hey, bear head!" Koios turned away from Pit, and got hit in the nose with a charged shot. But he didn't seem to mind.

"It's a nice helmet, right?"

"NO WAY! IT'S THE WORST HELMET I'VE EVER SEEN!" Koios took offense to that and swung his sword at Dark Pit. Perdix struggled to keep him away from the sharp metal.

"DON'T INSULT MY FASHION!" Koios bellowed. "IT STRIKES FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF MY ENEMIES!"

"YEAH, RIGHT! A SAPLING IS MORE FRIGHTNING!" Perdix nodded. Pit looked at the two of them like, ' _are you crazy?'_.

"YOU'RE COPYING MY INSULTS!" The titan looked down to see Perdix holding her staff. "So the mortal is holding you up, eh? What's it like to have useless wings?" He raised his foot to crush the girl. Perdix did the sensible thing and ran for her life. As a result, Dark Pit swayed nervously.

"Hey! Our wings aren't useless! We _can_ fly!" Pit shouted. The Midnight Palm sent more moons flying. Koios swatted them away like insignificant bugs. "We just need the power of flight!"

"Don't mind me, I'm just about to be crushed here!" Perdix yelled.

"Now is not the time for sarcasm." Palutena scolded.

Perdix twitched. "Now is not the time for lectures!" she complained. Dark Pit regained his balance and got Koios's attention by insulting his hair.

Dark Pit got a new idea. "Hey, gramps!"

Koios fumed. _"What did you just call me?!"_

"What? You got gray hair, doesn't that mean you're old? You've got grandchildren, too!" Perdix yanked her staff to keep Dark Pit in one piece. The partridge on the top would be very dizzy if it was real.

Now, you may be thinking that Koios was your average giant, slow, stupid, hard-to-kill guy. Well, you're partly right. But titans aren't stupid. In fact, they're _very_ crafty. Kronos was more crafty than the others, earning him the title of the Crooked One. But Koios wasn't anything to sneeze at. So he shut his mouth and faked a hit at Dark Pit. Naturally, Perdix, who was getting tired by now, swung her staff to help Dark Pit. Koios had noticed this little pattern, so while he faked his swing, his foot moved in for the _real_ attack, a poorly-aimed(he wasn't looking) kick. As bad as his aim was, getting kicked by someone that size will hurt a lot. As you could imagine, Perdix was sent rolling, dropping Dark Pit. All of this happened in about three seconds.

"Ouch..." Perdix groaned. Dark Pit pushed himself up. He looked up just in time to see Koios standing over Perdix, sword raised and pointed at the ground.

"Mortals." He spat. Pit, who had been unsuccessfully trying to get the titan's attention, dashed in and did a backward-dash charged shot, creating a giant moon. Koios's sword bounced off the sudden sheild. "Wha-?" He stepped back in surprise. Pit opened fire with a barrage of crescent moons, Koios still in his state of brief shock.

"Explosive Flame!" Dark Pit shouted, and Viridi's power surprised Koios once again. "Now, Medusa!" The goddess of darkness opened up the gap in the ground as promised. Unfortunately, Koios barely kept his ground.

"Get back up!" Perdix shouted, but due to the fact that she was in a hurry, Dark Pit rapidly shot upward, and was dropped nearly instantly. But he did get close to Koios's face. So he detached his Silver Bow into two blades and slashed them across Koios's left eye.

"MY EYE!" It sounded more pained than angry, much to Dark Pit's satisfaction. Koios's feet were now barely on the ledge of the gap.

Pit didn't miss his timing. He dashed forward, and the projectile he had been charging up zoomed for Koios's right eye. If something suddenly sped toward your eye, you would step back and cover it, even if you didn't mean to. This goes for Koios as well. He stepped right into the chasm, which snapped shut with a loud _CRUNCH._

"You did it!" Viridi exclaimed.

"You sound surprised." Dark Pit grumbled. Palutena sighed with relief.

* * *

"Good job!" Palutena was being cheerful as usual. Pit grinned. Sure, Koios had been powerful, and able to shrug off his attacks like nothing. But Koios had been beat, even though it had been pretty hard. Very satisfying for everyone. Perdix had broken a few ribs form the badly-aimed kick, but Asclepius had healed that with a flick of his wrist. Both angels were almost perfectly fine as well. It had been a good battle, and Pit hadn't hesitated to fight. And now, they had a good idea on how to fight the titans.

"I mean, how different can it be?" Pit said happily. Dark Pit looked somewhat emotionless. But he was usually all doom and gloom, so emotionless was pretty much his equivalent of being as happy as Pit. Medusa decided to burst the bubble.

"All four brothers have different personalities and use different weapons." she deadpanned. "Iapetus is not Koios, so don't celebrate yet."

That killed the mood rather quickly.

* * *

Lauren: Yeah, I always saw them differently. We can't just have four clones, right?

Pit: Huh. You're just trying to make it harder, aren't you?

Medusa: Of course she is.

Palutena: Now why did you have to kill the mood?

Viridi: Because that's what Medusa does. If you're like Pit, she's like Dark Pit.

Dark Pit: It's better than Palutena, but I'm not evil.

Viridi: Yeah. You work for me.

Dark Pit: With. Not _for._

Medusa: Look at how we are now. Do I still seem evil?

Pit: Umm...

Perdix: This is soooo complicated. Isn't that Pit's job? Learning how to tell the difference?

Lauren: Yup.

Pit: Oh, so I suppose _you_ can tell the difference?

Lauren: I even wrote about it.

Perdix: I said I could. Harming others without reason is the only evil. Good is everything else. But I guess it _could_ be more specific.


	14. Titan of the West

Lauren: I can finally get to work.

Pit: (sarcastic)Welcome back.

Dark Pit: You're going to get back to torturing us?

Viridi: Apparently. I can't believe people actually _like_ this. You humans are a weird bunch.

Perdix: I won't deny it. We are pretty weird. But so are you immortals.

Viridi: You little-!

Palutena: Calm down.

Disclaimer: Can I say it now? I don't own Kid Icarus.

* * *

Viridi was in a really bad mood. The titan Iapetus had appeared out of nowhere, dominated a forest of wildlife, and promptly vanished. The goddess of nature stormed around her domain, screaming curses so often that filtering her words would make her sound like Mr. Game & Watch. All three of her commanders were trying to calm her down. It wasn't working very good.

"A guy that big can't hide forever. We'll avenge the wildlife, Viridi." Dark Pit was doing his best to stay calm. You do not want to be close to an angry goddess.

"Mistress Viridi, Iapetus won't destroy anything else." Phosphora tried desperately. Viridi's voice lowered a tiny bit, but she was still cursing in all the ways she knew.

Arlon held out a cup of tea. "Mistress Viridi, please calm yourself. Have some tea to soothe your nerves." Viridi looked up at Arlon, who was always calm no matter what. She no longer sounded like Game & Watch through a filter. Palutena removed her hands from Pit's ears. Pit blinked and wondered what had just happened. Why was Viridi suddenly drinking tea?

Medusa spoke up. "Iapetus is more calm and collected, he won't just fight head-on. This is a taunt." She nodded in approval. "A good one. We can't find him unless he wreaks havoc."

"And by the time you've pinpointed him, he disappears off the map?" Perdix checked. She and Medusa got some glares. "What? I'm just summing up the situation."

"It's not helping." Palutena said slowly. "Iapetus is terrorizing cites and razing the land, but he vanishes as soon as we locate him. We'll have to predict where he'll be for this to work." She started muttering under her breath.

"I will find him. I will kill him. Very painfully." Viridi swore. "Come on! Iapetus isn't leaving the west side of the map! There are hardly any choices left!"

Arlon cleared his throat. "If I may, Mistress Viridi, Iapetus cannot hide easily, considering his size." Dark Pit rolled his eyes and grumbled something about repeating. "I am suggesting that he has help."

Palutena nodded. "It would make sense that Iapetus is getting help from someone or something, but there are multiple powers he could be using. Nyx might side with Kronos, we'll have to check, maybe Akhlys? Too many deities have powers of hiding..." She trailed off.

Perdix raised her hand. "Umm, you mentioned Nyx, the goddess of night. You can't see in the dark, and I hear she's... rejected? Sounds very possible to me." She pointed out.

Arlon nodded. "You are right, Perdix(she was human, so Viridi didn't want Arlon to treat her like everyone else. Perdix was perfectly fine with this). It seems like the most logical choice. However, even though Nyx is skillful at hiding, there are... others."

"What others?" Pit asked. Perdix was silently checking all the gods from her list of offerings that might have hiding powers and good reasons to fight with Kronos. It was pretty long. Pit and Dark Pit remembered one time where Artemis hadn't gotten an offering. She had unleashed a wild boar, and many people had died. No wonder she had a list. Death by wild boar didn't sound tempting.

"Lelantos, the god of the unseen, Hecate, the goddess of mist, Erebus, another god of the night-" Arlon stared at Pit, who was nodding off. Palutena shook him.

"Hecate has sided with us, and Lelantos is a titan, not a god. Erebus sounds possible, though." Palutena decided. "Any others that come to your mind?"

Arlon thought about it for a few seconds. "None with good reasons, Lady Palutena." Perdix kept scrolling through her long list of gods that need offerings. She didn't find anything. "So, are we going to locate Iapetus, or sit here discussing possibilities? I prefer the former." Arlon said.

* * *

"How long do you think this is going to take?" Perdix asked. Both Pit and Dark Pit shrugged.

"Lady Palutena doesn't usually take too long." Pit said.

Phosphora snorted. "That's what you think. We've been waiting for _five hours!_ So much for having an 'all-seeing eye'. What is this Iapetus guy _doing?"_

"Beats me." Dark Pit said. "But he's definitely got help." He and Phosphora eyed Perdix.

"Still don't trust me?"

"You bet." Phosphora deadpanned. "Remind me how it went the last time we met."

"Excuse me?! You were terrorizing my home! I was fighting for my life!" Perdix shouted. Similar arguments had broken out several times before.

"You tried to burn me alive!"

"So what?! YOU SEARED ME WITH LIGHTNING!" Pit tried to block out the sounds of the two furious girls. It didn't work.

"Please contain yourself." Arlon never changed. It was annoying at first, but now Pit and Dark Pit found Arlon's presence somewhat reassuring.

"Captain?" A centurion flew in the room. "The Light Warriors are fighting again, and we were hoping you would be able to calm them down..."

"Okay." Pit nodded. The Light Warriors were always arguing, and sometimes fights broke out.

* * *

"Like you were any help!" One Light Warrior shouted. He waved his Laser Staff through the air.

"We would have won if you didn't miss your shot! What a sniper you are." Another said sarcastically.

"Says the guy who needs homing boosts for his shots!"

"I use a club! I don't shoot at all!" He pointed to his Earthmaul Club.

"That's why you're _so_ helpful."

"Right, Mr. I-missed-the-Daybreak."

" _WHAT WAS THAT?!"_

A Dark Warrior cut in. "Seriously?! That was last month! Why are you arguing about that!" Pit had managed to make the Light Warriors stop fighting with some help from Arlon and the Dark Warriors, but they were still arguing. It gave him a headache. He was thankful when all the Warriors left, but he could still hear the Light Warriors yelling at each other.

* * *

"We have to use the Lightning Chariot?" Phosphora asked. Palutena nodded.

"Yes. If we are correct, Iapetus should appear soon, so you want to get in the Lightning Chariot and find him as soon as you can." She informed them.

"I don't want to push Phos and Lux..." Pit muttered. The horses had recovered thanks to Asclepius, but making them do even more felt wrong.

Palutena looked at him reassuringly. "Don't worry. All you need to do is find Iapetus, and Phos and Lux can come back. Can Phosphora take them?"

"Of course, but I can fight too, y'know. Why can't Pit or Dark Pit take them back?" Phosphora complained. "Or Arlon? Why me? You think I'm weak?"

Viridi shook her head. "Nah, you're powerful. But there's something else you have to do." She glanced at Perdix. "And do you want to...?" She couldn't say _'fight with a mortal'_.

The lightning spirte considered it. "Don't use me as a battery and I'm good." Phosphora sent Perdix a look of loathing and left. Pit hoped that they would be friends someday.

Phos and Lux were less skittish than usual, but seemed wary of Arlon. They slipped into the reins easily, but when Pit, Dark Pit, Perdix, Phosphora, and Arlon all got into the Lightning Chariot, Pit could have sworn that Lux snorted with annoyance.

"Whoa! What is this chariot made of?!" Perdix exclaimed. She started examining the chariot, crouching down and checking the wheels. "This is amazing. I've never seen anything like it!"

"Yeah, yeah, you can fangirl later." Phosphora snorted. "Giddyup!" Phos and Lux stormed out the door, and everyone grabbed on the the Lightning Chariot to avoid falling off.

"This is _awsome!_ That's why the axels were specially designed to withstand heat and pressure!" Pit looked at the girl next to him, and saw that Perdix's eyes were shining with excitement. "Who _made_ this thing?! I've got to-"

"SHUT UP!" Phosphora yelled. Perdix stopped fangirling and the two exchanged glares. Okay, maybe good friends was a long shot. Still, maybe they could be rivals.

"Please stay calm." Pit wondered if Arlon ever lost his cool. It seemed impossible.

"Now is not the time to argue like Light Warriors. Iapetus is nearby." Palutena warned them. "This probably goes without saying, but... don't get cocky."

"We beat Koios! Iapetus can't be that different!" Pit protested. "They're brothers, right?"

"That's exactly what Palutena is telling you _not_ to think. As for how different, Iapetus uses a spear, his name means _'the piercer'._ He's more calm and collected, don't expect him to react to taunts like Koios did. He's smaller, faster, and lighter." Medusa snarled. She had only one tone, and it was unfriendly.

"So if Koios is like Link, is Iapetus like Toon- OOOOOWW!" The golden laurel crown tightened around Pit's head.

"Yes. You could put it that way, expect personality." Viridi said. "Use that knowledge to your advantage, Pittoo. Because we both know that Pit can't put his knowledge to use."

"That is the last time you're calling me Pittoo!"  
"Hey! I have plans! Sometimes! And ideas! ...Sometimes."

"Is that him?" Perdix caught everyone's attention effortlessly with three words.

Phosphora tugged on the reins. "All right, I'm taking the horses back!" Everybody except Phosphora jumped out of the Lightning Chariot. When Pit's Guardian Orbitars suddenly appeared, Perdix started examining the designs on them, curious about how they floated in the air, somehow forgetting about the Titan of the West.

* * *

Silver. Iapetus was coated from head to toe in silver. His hair was silver. His eyes were silvery gray. His pale face was caught in the light reflected off his silver armor. And his spear was pure silver. Pit couldn't help but wonder how much of the precious metal was used in making the attire. Iapetus gazed down at them.

"It's quite a sight, isn't it?" He said in a deep voice. Surprisingly, he sounded rather warm and kind. "The sunset. I always sat down and watched the sun lower itself down the horizon. None of my brothers agreed much."

Pit was taken aback by Iapetus's words. He had been expecting something slow, menacing, more _evil._ Iapetus sounded like he just wanted to share the nice view. It was a very nice view.

"I agree with your words. It is quite a spectacle. I am sorry to know that the only ones that think so are on opposing sides." Arlon replied.

Iapetus shook his head. "No. At the very least, we are able to while each other in battle while enjoying the sunset, watching the skies grow slowly darker." He hefted his spear. The silver end glinted in the dying light of the sun. "It is a pity to have to kill such polite people, especially when they agree with my thoughts." That... wasn't disturbing at all.

Things went wrong in about five seconds. Everybody had been caught up in Iapetus's feeling of sadness, and as a result, there was a severe lack in fighting spirit. Pit opened fire with his Guardian Orbitars, only to find out that Iapetus was smaller, faster, and harder to hit than Koios. He started to think that a weapon with faster shots would have been better, like claws. Dark Pit, who was using his Silver Bow, did have rather fast shots. Unfortunately, the arrows had to find chinks in Iapetus's armor, which wasn't easy, considering that the chinks were tiny and Iapetus moved pretty fast for someone his size. Arlon didn't darken the surroundings, given the fact that it wouldn't help his allies. He was trying to pierce through Iapetus's sandals with spikes from below. It wasn't working. Perdix had aimed a blue laser into Iapetus's eye, and was now the titan's current target. She was running for her life to avoid becoming a shish-kebab.

"Somebody distract him!" She jumped to avoid the silver spear, which embedded itself into the ground. "That was _way_ to close!" Arlon finally made a hole in Iapetus's right sandal. The titan jumped and the world's most deadly game of tag ensured.

"When he uses his spear, block the attack and then shoot at his face. Then I'll open the ground." Medusa said.

Pit nodded in understanding. "Okay, just like Koios?"

"You have to make sure that he's using full force. Otherwise he won't give you a chance to attack." Palutena answered. "But taunting won't work. Iapetus is more levelheaded. Why don't you pretend to let your guard down?"

"Easier said than done." Dark Pit muttered. "Someone better help Arlon."

"I got it." Perdix sprited over and a large chunk of earth flew up and smacked Iapetus in the face.

Iapetus did not like that.

At least Perdix was fast. She created a pillar of fire under Iapetus's right foot to make him even angrier.

* * *

"You _had_ to do that!" Dark Pit yelled. Iapetus had caught up to Perdix, and in an attempt to escape death, the human girl had rolled between the titan's legs. However, she hadn't been looking where she was going, and collided into Dark Pit, who had been pursuing them. As a result, the two of them were sprawled on the ground.

"Sorry!" Iapetus raised his spear to impale them, holding it in both hands. Pit took this chance and dashed forward. The charged shot was fired just a moment too soon. Iapetus saw it coming, and instantly started playing defensive. To make things worse, a large number of Underworld monsters crashed the party.

"That's Pittoo's job!" Pit complained. Palutena didn't punish him, given the situation. Dark Pit did smack him, though. Arlon made quick work of the Underworld Army with his many projectiles.

Iapetus changed his target to the white angel. He stabbed forward and Pit dodged but missed the trick. Iapetus swept his spear around and knocked Pit off his feet. The spear came down, but there was no pain. Pit discovered that he was now a green ribbon of light. It was Perdix's magic.

Pit was turned back into his original self. The feeling of not being solid had been a weird one. He ignored his dizzyness and said, "Thanks!"

"Consider it as a thank you from last time!" Pit remembered the part in the battle with Koios where he had shielded Perdix with a gigantic moon.

"I say that we be more defensive. Iapetus is dressed in full armor, he shall tire in a short amout of time if he has to be offensive." Arlon suggested.

"I _am_ using some of the most defensive weapons out there." Pit decided. Guardian Orbitars weren't for playing aggressive. The group moved back slowly, giving Iapetus no choice but to attack.

Dark Pit shot another arrow, only for it to bounce of the silver armor. Iapetus narrowed his eyes and stepped forward, thrusting his spear forward. All four of them moved away. Iapetus started to attack faster, trying to get some blood on his spear. The sky was much darker now. Pit got one of his rare ideas. Using Iapetus's defensive style to buy some time, he shared it with everyone.

"I wish I had a better one." Perdix complained. "But I don't, so I'm all in."

"What are you talking about?" Iapetus asked. "A plan?"

"It's hardly a plan." Dark Pit said. Iapetus gripped his spear in both hands and tried to make another shish-kebab, after failing to make one with Perdix. Arlon immediately darkened the battlefield, and Pit put up another shield. The silver spear bounced off, but this time Iapetus couldn't see very well and was more tired. Dark Pit and Perdix had the honor of pelting the Titan of the West in the face with all sorts of ...things. Arrows, blue partridges of energy, rocks, dirt, nobody could really tell. It was to dark.

 _CRACK!_

The fissure to the Underworld opened up. Nobody could see it, but everyone could hear Iapetus bellowing about returning to his prison.

* * *

"I am definitely going to fight next time. I don't care what you think." Phosphora decided. She had taken care of some Underworld monsters that had started a forest fire.

"Aww. It was fun! Their faces were ridiculous!" Viridi exclaimed. She had been very caught up in watching Phosphora zap multiple enemies with lightning.

"What bothers me is the fact that Iapetus could hide like that." Palutena said. "Kronos must have more help than we know. I don't remember him having powers to possess, either. We'll have to look into it."

"At least we're in better shape than the time we fought Koios." Pit tried to be optimistic.

"Yeah, but all of us nearly became meat on a stick." Dark Pit crushed the optimism.

Medusa chuckled as she watched Pit's face fall. Her eyes moved to Perdix who was trying to figure out what the Guardian Orbitars and Lightning Chariot were made of.

"Your weapons can be converted into _hearts?_ " She checked. Dark Pit nodded. "How?"

"I dunno. Ask the forge god."

"Hearts can be molded into many things, whippersnapper." Dyntos grinned. He was glad that there was someone to talk to that actually could hear him with enthusiasm. Most immortals's eyes just glazed over. "So the weapons and life forms you make can turn back into hearts."

"You can make life forms, Lord Dyntos? That's amazing!" Perdix's green eyes shimmered. The god and the human started talking about things Pit could never understand if he tried.

"We're going counter-clockwise, Pit. The next is Krios, Titan of the South. He's, well, less than confident." Palutena informed him. Pit vaguely remembered Krios being mentioned by Koios. He wondered how different Krios would be, and which of his experiences might be useful.

* * *

Lauren: I blame the rain.

Pit: What?

Lauren: We live in South Korea, if you didn't know that. We went on a field trip to an island, and the plane got canceled because the weather was a jerk, the trip got longer than it was supposed to be, and I had to spend a lot of time catching up with the things I was supposed to do. So yeah. I was slower than usual. But I got over 1000 views! Not to mention a favorite/follow! Goodbye stress! Thank you so much! And I'm COMPLETELY SANE!

Dark Pit: She's finally lost it.

Lauren: When freaky aliens give you lemons, make freaky alien lemonade! That is the secret to my sanity!

Perdix: ...Yeah, she's totally lost it.

Viridi: She never had "it" to lose.

Lauren: I had "it"! I just dropped it in the hallway!

Palutena: Somebody find Asclepius.

Medusa: Why? It seems like an improvement.


	15. Titan of the South

Lauren: I'M STILL ALIVE! THE TESTS ARE OVER!

Viridi: Yeesh, go easy on our ears.

Lauren: Hey, I'm just happy to be here again!

Medusa: Welcome back. Pit has been trying to learn how to read, and it's not great. Get him out of here.

Pit: I still don't get why those letters make different sounds.

Palutena: That's because the letter 'h' is next to them. Did you get good grades?

Lauren: ...Don't talk to me.

Dark Pit: I guess that's a "no".

Perdix: That's _definitely_ a "no".

Lauren: Thanks for liking this story and reviewing, I'm sorry about my grammar. Our English is kinda rusty from lack of use. Sorry about all the errors I'll make in the future and fail to notice, too.

Disclaimer: Kid Icarus Uprising would have a Korean version if I owned the series, so I don't have to hack my 3DS in order to play, and Nintendo wouldn't be giving me grief with their updates that keep me from playing whenever I want to.

* * *

"What's Krios like?" Phosphora asked Viridi.

"Disgustingly defensive." She answered. "He won't attack much, so that's a plus."

Palutena walked in with a new god. "Aeolus found our titan." She gestured to the god, who looked young but... insane. His eyes were unnaturally wide, and his face had waaaaay to much makeup, and he never stopped smiling. Ever.

"Hello there! I'm Aeolus, the god of wind!" Aeolus grinned a bit too widely, showing off his white teeth. "Nice to meet ya!" He shook Phosphora's hand a little too hard, his entire body bouncing up and down. White powder flew off his face and settled on Dark Pit's nearby black tunic.

"Um-" Pit tried to say something, but got interrupted by the hyper wind god.

"Ah! So you must be Pit! Nice to meet you too!" The power flew onto Pit's face, making him sneeze. Dark Pit brushed his tunic.

Aeolus wheeled around and saw his next victim. "Hello! So you're the human everyone was talking about! Brave girl!" Perdix took a step back. Aeolus either didn't notice or didn't care, he just grabbed her hands and shook them. Perdix's chocolate brown hair was given a coat of white. Even so, Aeolus's face was still caked with the stuff.

"Lord Aeolus, I-" Perdix tried to get away, but Aeolus kept his grip firm.

"Oh, just call me Aeolus. Everyone does." His smile grew even wider, and Dark Pit was glad that the god of wind hadn't paid him much attention. Then Aeolus saw him with those wide eyes and he inwardly groaned. "Hi there! You're the new commander in the Forces of Nature? C'mere!"

"No."

"Okay then!" Aeolus said brightly. Everyone blinked. Then, three girls rushed into the room.

"M-master! Please wait for us!" The first one gasped. She had long, white, flowing hair that reached her shoulders and two sky blue eyes. She was wearing a simple white dress, but her entire body was transparent, and looked ready to get blown away by the wind.

"We- we cannot follow your incredible speed, Master." The second panted. She was also transparent, and her piled braids of hair were also white. Her attire consisted of a white shirt and skirt, and her hazel eyes were unfocused.

The third appeared to be a bit of a tomboy. She had short white hair with black eyes and glasses, similar to Bayonetta. She was wearing a white jacket, white shirt, and long white pants. She was also the only one who didn't seem winded, and held a clipboard with ease. "Master, you have requests for icy winds. Apparently someone forgot to give an offering."

Aeolus waved them off. "All right, I get it. You wind nymphs, keeping me on schedule..."

The one with a resemblance to Bayonetta arched an eyebrow. "Master, without us, I am certain that the weather would be absolutely-"

"I GET IT, KRYO!" Aeolus shouted. The nymph, Kryo, nodded. "Zestos, Chilaros, both of you prepare the winds." The girl with the long flowing hair held the other's hand like a protective older sister.

"We understand, Master. Let's go, Chilaros." She said, and the two of them left. Aeolus exhaled sharply.

"Sorry 'bout that. Those _aura_ just never let anyone get their rest." Pit was actually quite thankful to the _aura,_ especially when Kryo gave Aeolus a cold stare until he yelled at her about understanding his duties and followed her out to who-knows-where.

Palutena coughed. "Well, he's not the most popular god... Zestos, Chilaros, and Kryo must have a hard time."

"At least he's friendly...?" Pit's tone made it a question.

Medusa, who had been sulking in a corner to avoid being noticed, said something about being too friendly. Phosphora pressed her cheeks lightly to get the powder off without messing up her own makeup. Perdix returned her brown hair back to normal.

"Just tell us where the stupid titan is before he disappears." Dark Pit grumbled. "If we miss him, I'm blaming the god."

* * *

"I'm totally blaming the god." Dark Pit decided. Krios had miraculously vanished from the map, just as everyone had gotten ready to get going. Pit held up his weapon of choice, his Aquarius Blade, for Perdix to examine. She had been completely intrigued by his various weapons, but the fact that the blade was made of water got her onto a whole new level of amazed.

"Careful. It can freeze you." Pit warned her. Perdix carefully touched the tip with her finger, and her eyes widened when a drop of red blood trickled down her hand.

"Heh, I'll be sure not to touch it." She grinned sheepishly. Pit stared at the crimson liquid on her finger. All the immortals had golden blood, called ichor. Seeing red blood was rare for him. It was the sign of a mortal, meaning that you could die, and not come back. Pit didn't have to worry about such things, as long as Palutena and/or Viridi were watching. Perdix pressed her bleeding finger and held it up to show that she was perfectly fine.

Phosphora snorted. "Why do you like weapons so much? They're everywhere." Perdix glared at her.

"It might be common junk to you, but the work of Lord Dyntos is much more than you realize. Not that you'd have the necessary brain cells." To no one's surprise, this resulted in a major argument.

"I hope those two can get along..." Palutena sighed. "Teamwork is essential."

Arlon remained expressionless as he served tea to everyone, minus Perdix and Phosphora. "I believe that they will become good friends with enough time."

"Yeah, right." Pit said, not meaning it the slightest.

"And Young Master Pit agrees with me." Arlon failed to catch the sarcasm, even though their language was threatening to get very colorful. Dark Pit rolled his eyes and saw a bit of white peeking out from behind a corner. He stretched a bit to check it out and saw the _aura_ with piled braids of hair and hazel eyes.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She jumped and locked eyes with a scowling dark angel. Said angel decided to take a slightly softer tone, the nymph looked frightened to death. "Chilaros, was it? Something wrong?"

Chilaros still looked nervous. "No, nothing is wrong. It's just, Krios reappeared. He's terrorizing the people and I thought you might want to know."

"Thanks!" Pit piped up, joining the conversation.

"Chilaros! There you are!" The wind nymph with the longer hair, Zestos, drifted over. "I've been looking for you." She met eyes with Pit, who just smiled. "Oh, um... I'm sure my sister already told you this, but Krios reappeared." She smiled warmly. Close up, they could see that she was a bit taller that Pit, Dark Pit, and Chilaros.

"We have to go bye." Chilaros said quickly, and snatched Zestos's hand and pulled her away.

"Alright, let's take down this dummy!" Phophora said, having decided to ignore Perdix to the best of her ability.

* * *

"Yeah! Once this titan is down, there's only two left! Three is you count Kronos." Viridi chirped.

"It's cold here." Pit remarked. "Where is the guy anyway?"

"Somewhere in the mountains." Palutena answered. "I'm certain."

"Well, he'd better come out. We'll have fried titan today!" Phosphora seemed to be in a good mood now.

"That sounds even worse than Palutena's cooking." Dark Pit deadpanned. "Hang on, is that-?"

"Fancy seeing you here!"

Pit's jaw dropped. "Thanatos?"

"The one and only. Why don't we see who can put up a better fight? Get them, minions!" Underworld Monoeyes and Specknoses floated towards the group. Thanatos began to speak in a calm manner. "Nice to see you again. I'm here to avenge Hades, so if you'd politely get destroyed, I would appreciate it."

"He's... different." Phosphora sounded confused.

"That's not Thanatos." Medusa hissed. "He'd never be so calm."

"What do you mean, it's not Thanatos? It sure looks like him." Pit asked.

"No, that's his body, but he's not in control. He's being possessed."

Perdix was slowly processing the goofy looking god of death. "Possessed? By who? Or what?"

"That's what we all want to know." Palutena replied.

"That's not important right now, defeat him!" Dark Pit growled. He took aim with his Silver Bow, but Thanatos went up in pink smoke. Everybody braced themselves for some sort of horrible monster, and Thanatos transformed into, ...a pigeon?

"Oops! Second try!" _POOF._ Thanatos was a giant eagle. But he was...

"Umm," Pit tried to form a sentence.

"What?" Dark Pit could only stare in disbelief.

Phosphora blinked to make sure she wasn't seeing things. "How can I take him seriously now?"

The corner of Perdix's mouth twitched. "H-hot pink?" She started to laugh at the hot pink eagle and nearly dropped herself out of the air. Then everybody was laughing. Even Medusa was chuckling at the sight of her commander as a pink bird.

"I may be pink, but I'm still deadly!" Thanatos bellowed and charged at them. He snapped down on empty air with his beak.

"I'll just beat you a second time!" Phosphora shouted. Electricity gathered in her palm and shot out at Thanatos. The pink avian flapped his wings in pain. Thanatos flew upwards and dove down at Phosphora, extending his talons. "You missed!"

Thanatos started to change again, and once he emerged from the smoke, he was a green version of one-headed-Hewdraw. "How about this?!" He snarled. He opened his mouth, but instead of fire or energy, he unleashed a stream of bats. At first, Pit thought it was another mistake, but soon preferred fire. The bats were immune to anything, and chased after them with alarming speeds. Pit could hear cries of pain and fury from around him, along with the crazy squeaking of bats.

* * *

Perdix swung her staff, hoping to get something, but missed for the umpteenth time. But Thanatos's scales seemed like the perfect defense, as Dark Pit's arrows just bounced right off it. Phosphora's lightning didn't seem to work either. Those scales could make the perfect suit of armor, but defeating Thanatos was urgent. Her eyes moved to his mouth, and the throat that lead to the stomach. Thanatos needed a meal. Luckily, she had just the thing. Perdix landed on his back, and started to climb. Thanatos failed to notice her, and she settled close to his face, where he had no choice but to hear her. "Do you like your food hot?" She blurted out.

"What?"

"Do you like it hot?"

"Do I like what hot?"

Perdix was randomly making things up as she said them, all she needed was confusion. "Your food. Do you like it hot? Or cold?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"Just curious. What about your baths?"

"Why are you curious?! I am a god! You are not worthy to know about me!"

"I am a human. Last I checked, we have a lot of curiosity." The confusion seemed to be working, not just on Thanatos but on everyone present and a few who weren't. "Do prefer warmth over cold in general, or is it the other way around?"

"FINE! I LIKE WARMTH! NOW JUST LET ME MURDER YOU ALL IN PEACE!"

"You like it hot?" She said brightly. "Then I guess you'll enjoy this!" Perdix vaulted off Thanatos's head and pointed the partridge on her staff at his gaping mouth. It began to glow red as she summoned a pillar of fire.

In his stomach.

* * *

To Perdix's disappointment, Thanatos had exploded into hearts upon his overly hot meal. She would never be able to make that perfect suit of armor.

"I didn't know you could be so violent." Pit said. "Or crazy." He had been avoiding Thanatos's mouth, and trying to pull a scale loose so he could stab him with the Aquarius Blade. "What would you have done if he said 'cold'?"

"Pit, I don't even know where that stuff came from. So I don't know."

Palutena spoke in their minds. "That's Krios." Everybody looked up to see the Titan of the South slouching next to a mountain. He was also wearing armor, but the most noticeable part of his fashion were the mega ram horns on his helmet. How did he even get ram horns that big? And why would he put ram horns on his helmet in the first place? It made the large spear and shield almost unnoticeable. Almost.

"Who's that?" Dark Pit pointed to two figures running up to the mountain. One was dragging a large sword, the other was wearing purple armor and a red cape.

"Hey, it's Magnus and Gaol!" Pit exclaimed and ran up to them. Perdix's face brightened momentarily and then paled.

"Oh no, I'm in so much trouble..." She whispered to herself.

"Magnus! Gaol! Nice to see you again!" Pit ran up to them.

"Hey, angel face. I guess you're here to save the day or something." Magnus replied in his gruff voice.

Gaol looked behind Pit to see his allies. "Aren't those commanders in the Forces of Natu- wait, is that _Perdix?_ YOU COME RIGHT HERE, YOUNG LADY!" Gaol bellowed.

Perdix looked terrified of Gaol, who stormed over to her. "I'm sorry..." Phosphora snickered at Perdix, who had blown up a bat-breathing serpent, and was starting to resemble a mewling kitten.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS?! OR MAGNUS?! EVERYONE IN TOWN THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLED OR SOMETHING! DON'T YOU _EVER_ DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

Magnus talked to Pit while Gaol scolded Perdix in the distance. "She was worried to death, even though the kid can handle herself. You'd think she's Perdix's mom."

"Let's go drop that titan in hell." Dark Pit grumbled. "Where he belongs."

"Just my luck, ending up with three humans." Phosphora complained.

* * *

"Do you like the horns on your helmet?" Krios asked Gaol as soon as they approached.

"No."

He sighed. "Me neither. I just wear these because I pulled the short straw. Stupid ram horns." Krios sounded bored, and depressed. "Say, are you the human girl who gave little brother his army?"

Perdix flinched. Gaol gave her a death stare. "You did what?"

"Eh, they've all disappeared. Except the eidolons. Those guys sure are helpful."

"Eidolons?" Pit asked.

"Spirits. You've met, two, I think."

Phosphora's eyes widened in realization. "Cragalache. And Thanatos."

Krios nodded. "Kronos can't control people, that's a common misunderstanding. He can only mess with their senses. Like the little girl there. But the eidolons sure do a good job." He stopped slouching and stood up straight. "And I have to kill you. Thought I'd mention that." And he thrust his spear at them.

"SCATTER!" Magnus said it with such force that everyone obeyed instantly. The spear tip buried itself in the ground, and Magnus swung his bulky sword and chopped it right off.

"That was absolutely pointless! Getting hit with that thing will still be like getting hit with a sledgehammer!" Phosphora pointed out.

"Then get rid of the shield!" Gaol yelled. She shot her magic at Krios's hand, trying to force him to drop it. Pit put his Blade to use and shot compressed water through a chink in his armor. Krios turned his arm so that the round shield blocked them off. Dark Pit and Perdix changed this by shooting arrows and lasers into his eyes. Somehow, this didn't blind him. He swung his once-a-spear-now-a-pole at them in the meaning of revenge. Pit shot more water at Krios's hand, and Gaol used her dark magic to yank away the round shield. It skidded away.

Phosphora used the fact that his armor made him an excellent conductor of electricity, but Krios didn't even stumble, and only let out a pained grunt. "Dammit!" She snarled.

"Dark Pit. Look." Perdix pointed at Krios's feet, which had dug into the ground. "He's doing everything he can to keep his balance, and I don't think any amount of pain will make him fall over. We'll need a really strong blow. Got any ideas?"

"We need to send him flying? You're in the wrong universe. I say we knock him unconscious." Dark Pit suggested.

"Maybe if I had a really big rock..." Perdix looked around, and she grinned. "Keep him company." She ran off.

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Someone's swimming in ideas today."

Magnus slammed his sword down on Krios's foot, with the blunt edge. Krios swung his now-a-pole at Magnus, but a strong gust of wind weakened his blow, and another softened his fall. When Pit got too close, the same process was repeated. The wind made Pit only gently bump into the ground.

"Thanks!" He said to the wind.

"Don't mention it." The wind replied with Zestos's warm voice. "We're just helping the best we can, because of interference laws between the gods."

"Still, thanks. Wait, what's Perdix doing?"

"Hey, Ram Horns!" Perdix called. Everyone turned to see her levitating Krios's round shield. "Catch."

Three gusts of wind, Zestos, Chilaros, and Kryo, pushed the shield, making it spin round and guiding it upwards. Krios was clocked in the face with the world's largest metal frisbee. Medusa opened the road to his prison, and the Titan of the South fell in headfirst, leaving drops of golden ichor on the ground.

"Yes!" Perdix pumped her fist.

"Alright, good job!" Palutena complimented them. "Now come back to Skyworld!"

Pit waved at Magnus and Gaol. "See you later! Come on guys!"

Gaol took off her helmet and put her hand on Perdix's shoulder. "Oh no you don't. Young lady, you are _grounded."_ Perdix gulped and all three humans vanished.

"I guess we're not seeing her again." Phosphora decided.

* * *

Perdix's arms trembled as she held the bucket of water above her head. A few drops splashed on her face and dripped down her nose. Her arms started to give way, and Gaol glared at her. Perdix raised her arms back up. Gaol walked out of the room, and she lowered the bucket of water.

"I should have come back.." Perdix muttered to herself. The door handle turned, and Perdix shot the bucket of water back up, getting her pigtails wet.

* * *

Lauren: Darby? *holds up box of keys* _What are these?_

Darby: Those are keys, if you don't have eyes.

Lauren: _And WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?!_

Darby: They are just ...chilling in your hands.

Everyone: *slowly backs away*

Lauren: ...

Darby: Meep.

Pit: This is bad...

Darby: If you know that, help me! You're the protecter of humans!

Lauren: DON'T YOU DARE! I'M THE AUTHOR!

Darby: I'm an author too! Just not the main author! I have some control over you too!

Lauren: Hmm, actually, I'll let this slip. Just expect my revenge.

*door opens*

Lauren: HOW DID YOU GET EXORCISM KEYS?!

Darby: Author powers. And some help from Amaterasu.

Naruto: Hey, you haven't written anything for two months, dattebayo! This has fifteen chapters! We have one! Is your writer's block that bad? Go see the anime for ideas! It's got to help! Or are you doing something else? The tests are over, what's your excuse? Or-

Lauren: SHUT UP ALREADY!

Darby: You have no idea how ironic you are. The anime is what's keeping me from writing.

Lauren: Oh yeah, I thought I'd mention that in greek, 'Zestos' means 'warm', 'Chilaros' means 'lukewarm', and 'Kryo' means 'cold'. And the C in Chilaros's name is silent.

Chilaros: But why am I lukewarm?


	16. Titan of the East

Lauren: Hey, what do you think is gonna happen once this is over?

Viridi: I'lll go back to keeping them busy.

Phosphora: I'll enjoy it.

Arlon: I would prefer to settle things over a cup of tea...

Palutena: No, don't do that! The humans have already been through enough! Let's have tea!

Pit: I could use a rest, too!

Dark Pit: No. We're going to Smash. So is Palutena.

Lauren: And Viridi, if you count the mii fighter. And Magnus and Phosphora, if you count assist trophies. Why are we talking about this?

Phosphora: You asked.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kid Icarus, but I want more games. Don't we all?

* * *

Viridi was talking with Pit about his chances at death in the upcoming battle. She was pretty confident that he would have to be revived at least once.

"No I won't!" Pit said with much enthusiasm. "We've already done this three times now!"

Viridi snickered. "Yeah, the fact that this is the second greatest titan warrior isn't going to make _any_ difference. Bet you a hundred hearts you'll have your first death."

"Are you trying to scare him?" Palutena asked while fixing her hair. She looked in a mirror, was satisfied, then helped herself to some peeled grapes that were served by the centurions.

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Come on. It's like this every time. You're like 'this won't be easy', and Pit's like 'I can totally do it', and we go fight and the titan seems strong at first then goes down pretty easily." He waved away the centurion that was offering him apples. The centurion fluttered over to Pit, who munched the apples happily.

"Okay then, just wait for us to find Hyperion." Palutena sighed. "If you're right, he'll go down 'pretty easily'."

Medusa looked down at the ground below through a window. She blinked. Then she rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things. "You don't have to find him."

"What?" Viridi asked, confused. "Why?"

"Because he's down there, waving a flag." Everybody scrambled over to the window.

Sure enough, the titan was waving a large yellow flag. Next to him, carved into the ground were the words:

 _'SUP  
_ _SEND YOUR PETS IF YOU WANT A FIGHT  
-HYPERION_

Everybody processed that for a few seconds.

"That is,... unusual." Arlon decided.

* * *

"So, what you mean to say is, you think this is a trap." Phosphora checked.

Palutena nodded.

"And because Hyperion is very confident, it might work."

Palutena nodded.

"And possibly kill us."

Palutena nodded.

"And you're sending us anyway."

Palutena nodded.

"Just making sure. Count me in." Phosphora zipped away.

Palutena sighed. "I wish I could help more..."

Zeus, the ruler of the gods and Palutena's father, suddenly appeared out of nowhere and boomed, "YOU SHALL NOT! WE ARE NOT TO INTERFERE WITH ANYTHING BESIDES A MASSIVE WAR! THAT IS OUR LAW! THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!" Then he proceeded to poof out of Skyward to Olympus, probably to watch TV, or something that the gods had that humans didn't at that time. He loved having privileges that were only for gods, not knowing that they would be passed down to humans eventually. He had been angry enough when humans started using fire, who knows how pissed he'll be when they get technology.

"Sometimes I feel like we could have a better leader." Hecate stated. There were many murmurs of agreement.

"I know! I'd be much better, don't you think?" Aeolus was greeted with silence. All three wind nymphs shook their heads behind his back. "No?"

Pit, Dark Pit, Phosphora, and Arlon decided not to question how in the world Aeolus thought he would be a good ruler and get on their way. Gods are weird that way. Pit tugged Palutena's hand to get her attention, and the door opened up. Right in Hyperion's face.

"What the-!" Dark Pit started, and got slapped in the face by a flailing Phosphora. Pit had nearly jumped onto Hyperion's nose, screamed like a little girl, and valiantly took cover behind Arlon the Serene. "Don't put your face in the door!" The dark angel yelled. Because nobody had jumped out, everyone was crammed in the doorway. Dark Pit was very conveniently in front of Hyperion's eyes.

"I didn't put my face anywhere, the door just spawned right there!" Hyperion shouted back. "How was I supposed to know?!"

"Your message is over there, why'd you move?!" Phosphora, being squashed between Dark Pit and Arlon, was very cranky. She pointed to a bunch of slashes in the ground, about a hundred meters away.

"I wanted to be dramatic! You have to bask in my glowing golden glory!" Hyperion's face flushed with anger. "For that, the distance was necessary! You've ruined everything, Palutena!"

"Funnily enough, I wanted you to get a good look at him from far away." Palutena was amused by the situation. "I guess we had the same idea!" The sound of Viridi laughing in the background was loud and clear. She shoved Dark Pit our the door with the power of flight. Not wanting to stay crushed in a doorway, everyone followed. Pit pretended that he hadn't hidden behind Arlon, and raised his Wolf Claws.

"You needed to spawn over THERE to get a good look at me and have your slow and dramatic approach to the death! This is just rude!" Hyperion was raging now. "I'll kill you for this!" Nobody bothered telling Hyperion that he was going to try and kill them even if they did have a dramatic approach. "BASK IN MY LIGHT!" Hyperion roared at the top of his lungs, spread his arms, and started to glow.

* * *

The light was blinding. Pit couldn't see, and there were yells of confusion. "Put it out! Put it out!" That was Phosphora, and her voice was followed by a hiss of metal on metal. Pit swerved downward, and he didn't need to see to know that a sharp weapon had just passed overhead.

Suddenly, everything returned to normal. Pit looked around to see Arlon, his arms outstretched, darkening the area. But he was obviously straining to keep the titan's light under control. Hyperion gritted his teeth and swung his weapon, a golden sword that matched his armor, upward.

"Watch out!" Phosphora quickly shoved Arlon out of the way, gaining herself a bleeding calf. That was bad. Five seconds in, and there was already blood. Pit wondered if he'd have to cough up a hundred hearts to Viridi after all.

"Get out of the way!" Dark Pit ordered. Pit dove down, although no one else did the same. Dark Pit unleashed a shower of arrows, his special attack. Unfortunately, diving down didn't exactly get Pit out of the way. Now he knew why Phosphora and Arlon had dodged to the side.

Hyperion growled angrily, his face now covered in cuts. Maybe he had a date. He started to glow again.

"Blast! He's to strong!" Arlon said. The battlefield became shrouded with Hyperion's light once more. "I will hold back his light as soon as I can!"

"Alright! Fly wildly!" Pit shouted. He flapped his wings, going up as fast as possible. He reached out with his Wolf Claws, and felt them scrape against Hyperion's golden armor. The flaming claws raked the titan's neck.

Hyperion yelled, sounding more angry than in pain. "I will KILL YOU!" Arlon had the courtesy to finish recharging and darken the area, so that Pit could have a nice view of Hyperion's glowing face. Fine, that probably wasn't his intention, but it just happened that way. So much that Pit could appreciate the glittering golden sword that was crashing down on him.

Pit blinked and found himself in Skyworld, with an absolutely livid Dark Pit. His twin stormed over to him.

" _SERIOUSLY?! IT JUST HAD TO BE YOU!"_ He bellowed. Viridi giggled behind him.

"Cough up." She smirked.

Palutena pried the angels apart. "Later. Right now, Arlon and Phosphora could use some help." In a pillar of light, the twins returned to the battle.

"That's not fair! You keep coming back?!" Hyperion complained. "Well, I guess that means I can cut you to shreds over and over again and you'll just keep coming back for more." Pit had never thought about it like that.

Phosphora was losing blood a little too quickly. Her movement was rather sluggish(compared to her usual speed, that is), and her attacks didn't seem to hit as hard. She had to rely on Arlon quite a bit for her safety.

"You must do something about that wound." Arlon said. "You're turning pale."

"If it was really bad, you wouldn't sound calm." Phosphora knew that Arlon always was calm, she just didn't want to leave the fight. "Move!" The two commanders dodged away from the gold blade, reuniting with Pit and Dark Pit. "Welcome back, guys."

Hyperion raised his sword in an offensive fashion. Out of pure instinct, everyone backed away. Hyperion jumped upward, swinging down with all his might. Medusa took this as her chance, opening up the ground.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING BACK!" Hyperion barely grabbed the ledge, and started to pull himself up.

All four of them landed next to the one hand he was using. "Actually," Pit grinned, and grabbed a finger, "yes, you are!" Hyperion's eyes widened with disbelief as he plummeted down, swearing very badly.

* * *

(in Tartarus, the deepest part of the Underworld)

"Incoming!" Krios yelled. He could spot his golden brother a mile away. Iapetus dove out of the way to avoid becoming a pancake. Hyperion jumped back to his feet and shouted,

"THOSE LITTLE _BRATS!_ I WILL REND THEIR FLESH FROM THEIR BONES!" He swore.

"Your sword isn't nearly that long." Iapetus grumbled. "You can't even see the sunset in here..."

"What is it with you and the sunset?!" Koios snapped.

Krios rolled his eyes. "What is it with you and yelling?"

Hyperion wasn't finished ranting. "I NEARLY HAD THEM! THEY WERE AN INCH AWAY FROM THE TIP OF MY BLADE! I WOULD HAVE DESTROYED THEM ALL!"

Koios decided that this was a great time to make Hyperion even madder. "So much for you being the best of us all. If you can't even swat a fly."

"LIKE YOU'RE THE ONE TO TALK! YOU LOST TO THREE OF THEM, AND ONE WAS A HUMAN GIRL!"

While Koios and Hyperion began to argue, Iapetus and Krios shut them out and began a card game. Might as well pass the time.

* * *

"Welcome back." The goddess of magic, Hecate, greeted them. "You've done well."

Pit smiled from ear to ear. "Thank you, Lady Hecate! Where's Lady Palutena?"

"Over here." Palutena called. "Just give me a few seconds!"

Dark Pit looked around. "And Viridi?"

"Here!" Viridi ran over to them. "Congrats!" She winked.

Phosphora frowned. "Mistress Viridi? This isn't usually like you..."

"What do you mean, it's not like me?"

"Lady Palutena?" Pit called, ignoring Viridi. "What are you doing?"

"Hmm? I'm right here." Palutena walked out of her room, smiling. "You defeated Hyperion! Which is why... we have to kill you."

"L-lady Palutena?!" Pit cried. He gasped, and so did everyone else. Palutena and Viridi started to change, their hair becoming flaming red, their skin becomeing white and bloodless. Fingers elongated into claws, and teeth grew into fangs. Their legs were replaced with bronze metal and donkey legs. The walls around them collapsed into mist, and more of the demonic monsters started to appear. Palutena and Viridi, the _real_ Palutena and Viridi, were tied and gagged. Hecate laughed at the shock that was so prominent on their faces.

"These are the empousa, my followers." She chuckled. "They'll be your guide," Hecate's chuckle was replaced by a manical laugh, "to your prison in Tartarus."

* * *

Lauren: I promise I'll be faster next time! 'Kay?

Magnus: Where... are we?

Perdix: You probably can't answer that. Why are we here? Can I put this bucket down now?

Lauren: You're here because having the others here wouldn't be fun! Can't let them talk to each other! And you can put the bucket down.

Gaol: *grumble* I wanted her to hold it a bit longer...

Perdix: My arms felt like they were going to fall off! *throws bucket*

Lauren: So yeah, Hecate isn't on their side. We're not done. Not by a long shot. *door opens* Are you kiddi-

Kirby: Poyo!

Perdix and Gaol: Awww!

Lauren: I can't be mad at that! Did you avoid my Scarfies just to get here?

Kirby: Poyo!


	17. Hecate

Lauren: Empousa always scared me. Is there anything scarier than an over-sexualized vampire with mismatched legs that wants to eat your face?

Darby: An Empousa with a romantic obsession with you?

Lauren: *shudders* I stand corrected. How about an Empousa that wants to eat you while you're covered in blood? Hot, sticky, fresh blood...

Darby: Eep. I hate seductive vampires.

Perdix: I am glad I'm grounded. That sounds terrifying.

Gaol: You're grounded until next month.

Kirby: Poyo! *inhales snacks*

Lauren: *grabs computer* GET STARTED! CUE THE DISCLAIMER!

Disclaimer: You figure it out. I'm tired of saying the same thing over and over.

* * *

Pit raised his flaming Wolf Claws, but he wasn't sure if they would be much help against the empousa. They had long, sharp claws, much longer than his. Still, they probably didn't shoot fire. Maybe that would give him an advantage. There were five of the pale monsters in total, and four of them charged.

It didn't take a genius to tell that shooting fire wouldn't be much help. The empousa were fast, like 'faster than Phosphora' kind of fast. Also, the lightning sprite was injured and moving rather slowly. So, before Pit knew it, he had one of the empousa in his face, and her fangs clamped down, half an inch away from his neck.

"Well, this is interesting. Wouldn't you agree?" Hecate was perched on a throne of mist and smoke. The last empousa stood next to her.

"Yes, it is, Lady Hecate. Our enemies should be reduced to ribbons soon enough." The empousa answered. "Then they'll be stuck in Tartarus forever."

"A suitable punishment for those who tossed our kind in that nasty place." Hecate spat.

The empousa squealed in excitment. "Ooh! First blood!" Sure enough, Arlon had large gashes on his arm, courtesy of his opponent. She giggled as some of the golden liquid fell on her tounge.

"Tasty! Want more!" She became a blur as she attacked Arlon, who was floated out of reach. However, the empousa was hungry, and scaled the walls in pursuit.

Phosphora, even injured, was using her powers to keep the empousa away. It was working, but not getting any damage done. They simply stayed about ten meters away from each other. The empousa would try to come close, but get chased away and growl in frusturation.

"Give me your blood!" Dark Pit's opponent screeched. "I skipped breakfast!"

"You should have eaten your cereal!" Dark Pit protested. The blades of his Silver Bow were entangled in the claws of the empousa, and both were struggling to break free.

The empousa that wasn't fighting called out. "Remember your lessons! You can have all the blood you want!"

"Yay!" Pit's opponent stopped shredding his tunic for the fun of it and attempted to stab him. He dodged, but the claws still grazed him. It seemed to be impossible to completely avoid their claws. He slashed out in an offensive attempt, but she flipped over him and bit his shoulder.

"Gotcha!" Pit yelled in triumph as he whirled around and snagged her by the waist. His Wolf Claws pierced her back, and the empousa exploded into mist with a haunting death scream.

Arlon was suspended in midair, and his opponent was swinging from the lights, squealing for blood. Pit raised his Wolf Claws, and guided his fire. The empousa jumped straight into the flames.

"Eeee!" She collapsed to the ground in a burned heap. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow! That HURT!" Arlon took the chance to float downward and shoot her in the back. Pit immediatly followed with his claws.

"And that's the end of you!" He exclaimed. The empousa started to cry.

"Waaah!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as she dissolved into mist.

"Hmm." Hecate frowned. "They were still in training, so it's not bad."

The leader empousa glanced nervously at her master. "Do as I taught you! More blood for all sisters!"

Arlon went to help Phosphora, while Pit assisted his twin. Dark Pit had fallen apart from the empousa, and was making her face into his personal target. But because that target moved so fast that it might have been Sonic, Dark Pit's arrows missed their mark again and again.

"Why-" _whoosh_ "won't-" _whoosh_ "you-" _whoosh_ "DIE?!" Dark Pit's arrow sped past the empousa once more.

She stuck out her tounge. "Because I'm hungry, that's why!"

"Well I'm hungry, too!" Pit shouted as he attacked, and failed miserably. The empousa leaped forward, and tackled the angel. He yelped as the claws left multiple cuts.

"I _don't_ feel sorry for ya!" Dark Pit's blades found themselves at the empousa's neck. She didn't even get to scream or cry. But her sister did, hopelessly entangled in Phosphora's net of lightning. She fell to the ground, and twitched a few times before dying.

Hecate looked at her last empousa with a look that clearly said _Don't disappoint me._ "Aima, I have high expectations."

"I understand, my lady." The empousa, Aima walked forward. She had crimson red eyes and her hair fell behind her like a waterfall of blood. Her silky green dress was rather, ...questionable. But then again, Zero Suit Samus and Bayonetta were also rather questionable. "I shall not disappoint."

* * *

They were losing. That was no mystery. It would be difficult enough to fight Aima under normal circumstances, but hardly any of them were in fighting shape. If Hyperion hadn't tired them out, the four empousa had completed the job. Everyone was wounded, and Hecate might step in and interfere if she wanted to.

"Aww, now isn't that cute." Aima twirled half of Dark Pit's Silver Bow between her claws, and Dark Pit was trying to get it back. Pit jumped in to attack, but Aima caught his Wolf Claws effortlessly. "Nice claws you have there, angel." She said. Phosphora shot electric bolts, but the empousa backflipped away. "Too slow! You'll need to do better than that!"

Dark Pit's hands rose up in a shooting position, then he remembered he didn't have the entire bow, only a knife. The other knife was still in Aima's grasp. The fact that he was trying to shoot an arrow with a knife made a funny picture. The empousa sped past him and cuts opened up all over his arms. But none of them were really deep, or painful. When he looked at her quizzically, Aima giggled. She was toying with him. No, she was toying with all of them. They were all her playthings.

"Hyyah!" Pit yelled and ran in for another attack. Aima didn't skewer him, even though she could, easily. She simply wove her claws into his and spun him around, until he tripped and fell to the floor, dizzy.

"You need some dancing lessons, don't you think? I only dance with good partners."

"Then perhaps I could join you?" Arlon asked while ambushing her with magic. "Did that count?"

She scowled. "No, it didn't."

"My apologies."

Phosphora stepped in. "Find your own partner, donkey leg!" She grabbed Aima's bronze leg, and the empousa screamed as electricity ran through her body.

"Pit!" Palutena managed to get off the gag, using Viridi's thorny crown. Said throny crown was now lopsided, and Viridi couldn't do anything about it. "Hecate is-" Aima suddenly materialized next to the goddess, her claws half an inch away from Palutena's throat.

"Now, now, you don't want to give your goddess a hole in her pretty neck, right? One squeak, one small move, and I'll give them an everlasting wound. Being immortal doesn't mean you always heal." The empousa warned them. No one dared do anything. Only the wind blowing made a faint rustle, making the curtains sway around the closed windows. Pit blinked. Closed windows?

The knife came out of nowhere and caught Aima in the shoulder. She screeched in pain, and cursed at the newcomer. _"Stupid aura!"_ Sure enough, the wind nymph Zestos was hiding behind a curtain, wielding a dagger. The other two, Chilaros and Kryo appeared behind Aima and pulled her away, but got thrown off.

"All right, girls! Time to show everyone that I'm the best god out there!" Aeolus the wind god literally stormed in, sending out small cyclones everywhere. It made quite the mess, especiallly with all his makeup.

"No." Hecate held up her hand, and Aima returned to her side. "Our work is done here. And, I have a message for all of you. From Lord Kronos himself." Everything froze. Pit couldn't move, all he could do was stare blankly at Hecate. Even Kryo's knife was suspended in midair, stopped in time.

"Lord Kronos wants you to know that while you have been so busy dealing with the titans that I hid for him, some guests have arrived. They seem to want the honor of killing you. Oh, and that you might want to think about your allies. Not all of them are on your side." Hecate and Aima dissolved into mist, and time started to flow again.

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit freed Palutena and Viridi, who healed up everyone in an instant.

"I can't belive that Hecate would betray us." Palutena said weakly. "I knew that she had a few complaints, but-"

"That's not the problem! There are spies here! And whoever these 'guests' are, we have to worry about them too!" Viridi snapped.

Pit couldn't be optimistic about the situation. "Who do you think isn't on our side?"

Dark Pit scanned everyone in the room. His eyes lingered a bit on Medusa(who was sulking in a corner), Aeolus, and his wind nymphs. "We'll have to find out when they betray us. Not that I like that."

Phosphora's fists were clenched tight. "Then who are the 'guests'?"

Palutena looked out a window. Her face fell. "I think I know. Look." Everyone did as she said. Pit's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Not them! Please tell me I'm dreaming!" He complained. Dark Pit and Medusa looked somewhat confused, but almost everyone else recognized the Aurum islands floating in the sky.

* * *

Lauren: Yay! I get to do this part! I was looking forward to this so much! Because I LOVE the Aurum levels! Whoo hoo! *dances*

Pit: I don't...

Lauren: Come on, it'll be fun!

Dark Pit: Not for us.

Palutena: I'll second that.

Viridi: Those aliens are going to ransack the Earth! Again!

Medusa: I suppose I should help...

Lauren: Everyone who likes chapters 15, 16, and 17! You're all with me, right? This is gonna be awesome! Oh, and when the Aurum come around, you know who's gonna join! But, is he gonna help or not? Can you trust him or not, Pit?

Pit: Uh... not. I'll go with not.

Lauren: Okay! Right, and 'Aima' means blood. I'm just naming everyone greek words because I can't think of names. Yeah. And, uh, sorry about any mistakes I made.


	18. The New Aurum Islands

Lauren: *laughs*

Pit: What's so funny?

Lauren: I can't write about the Aurum with a straight face!

Pit: Why?

Lauren: I'm pretty sure you know I live in Korea. Well, the name of my school is pronounced just like Aurum! So whenever I hear the word Aurum, my mind just puts th two together and I get an image of Aurum enemies in classrooms! Wearing school uniforms! *laughs and falls out of chair* Oww...

Palutena: That's just... *starts grinning* A Zarum in a school uniform?

Lauren: *nods* With a backpack full of textbooks.

Viridi: Well, they certainly seem less threatning.

Lauren: *sits up* Okay, now imagine Aurum enemies trying to sit in chairs.

Dark Pit: Haven't seen any.

Phosphora: Me neither.

Arlon: I beg your pardon, but-

Medusa: Most of us haven't seen them. But I imagine they look quite strange if Palutena's trying that hard to maintain a straight face.

Palutena: I'm sorry, but they don't even have _legs._

Pit: The chair would be crushed!

Disclaimer: I'm in a good enough mood to admit that I don't own Kid Icarus!

* * *

"We have to take care of the Aurum before anything else." Palutena said. Pit, Dark Pit, Phosphora, and Arlon all flew above the Aurum islands.

"Kronos keeps driving us away from him. But we can't just let the Aurum destroy the Earth!" Viridi wasn't happy at all. She wanted to get rid of Kronos ASAP, but the Titan Lord kept bringing new problems. "The only option is to get rid of the Aurum before he can summon anything else."

"So, we can't split up and take out Kronos right now?" Dark Pit asked.

"Nope." Viridi popped the 'p'. "Look at all those islands!"

Pit needed to know something else. "But wasn't the Aurum Brain destroyed?"

Palutena sounded grim. "Apparently not. Remember, you only managed to free Pyrrhon, we didn't get to make sure it was destroyed. And if it was destroyed, why would Pyrrhon try to push it to the other side of the galaxy?"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it! We have to take down the Aurum Brain again!" Viridi snapped. "Aurum forces incoming!"

The white, triangular Aurum enemies flew into view. Dark Pit let an arrow fly straight through one, while Arlon mercilessly destroyed another two. Phosphora let a few approach her, then she slapped them with her open palm.

"Wait, did you just kill the Aurum by _slapping them?"_ Pit asked. Phosphora grinned.

"It's a little thing of mine. So satisfying." Pit shrugged, he had to admit that backhanding enemies was a lot of fun, especially when he was riding a Cherubot.

"All right, Phosphora! Arlon! You two land on the islands and take care of them from there, 'cause Pit and Pittoo do more damage in the air." Viridi commanded.

"Are you ever going to stop calling me Pittoo?!" Dark Pit snarled. "I told you a million times that I hate that nickname!"

"If I may, Young Master Dark Pit, you have said that you hated your nickname a total of two-thousand, five-hundred, and sixty-eight times." Arlon corrected the dark angel.

Silence followed. Even the Aurum didn't come in to attack, as if they were at a loss for words, or actions.

"...Arlon, did you actually _count?"_ Palutena asked. "That's... something."

 _BOOM!_

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's for controlling me, space idiots!"

"I think I'll be landing now." Phosphora said and plummeted down, out of the Sun God's line of sight. Arlon followed her example, but not as quickly.

"Oh, hey there, Pit! Sorry 'bout last time!" Pyrrhon said with a friendly wave.

"You're sorry?! 'Sorry' doesn't cut it!" Pit yelled. "You tried to roast me alive!"

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Guess he's smart. Besides, even Palutena said that your wings would taste good."

"Hey!"

Pyrrhon grinned sheepishly, like he'd been caught stealing cookies. "Yeah, I'm sorry. So I tried to push these goons to the other end of the galaxy! And I'm here to help you beat them up!"

"And you failed to push them to the other end of the galaxy, and don't talk about beating them up until we're done. And for the record, I don't trust you. We already got backstabbed by Hecate, I don't need another one of Kronos's underlings." Dark Pit said with a tone that he would use before slamming a door in someone's face.

Pyrrhon's expression changed to surprise. "Kronos? KRONOS!? Where's that crook, I'll give him a taste of my Pyroblaster! Hang on, did you say Hecate, Mr. Edgelord? Aww, she was so hot, too... Wait, Mr. Edgelord? You look like Pit! Pit, you never told me you had a brother! Guess this'll be even MORE AWESOME! What's your name, Mr. Edgelord? Sure, I can just call you Mr. Edgelord if you like, but it's kinda long-"

"SHUT UP!" Viridi and Dark Pit yelled in unison, but the latter happened to have a bit more venom.

"My name is Dark Pit, and I will _not_ accept anything else!"

"What's wrong with the name Pittoo?" Pit asked his counterpart. Pyrrhon did not miss a beat. Dark Pit didn't even get to fully open his mouth.

"Pittoo? Pittoo! It's easy to say, I like it!"

Dark Pit groaned. "What is it with these nicknames..."

* * *

Phosphora looked up from the Aurum island to see Dark Pit yelling angrily at Pyrrhon. She had heard that Pyrrhon was quite a flirt, and didn't want to get involved with him. The lightning sprite was much happier zapping aliens into oblivion. The Aurum were like Dyntos's creations, called automatons. She couldn't imagine them having a free will of there own, if they even counted as life. The Forces of Nature were like little children, always swarming around Viridi and her commanders like happy ducklings. But the Aurum were cold and showed no hint of any kind of emotion. To Phosphora, they didn't count as life. Even if they were, they weren't from Earth, so she had no reason to spare them. Maybe that mortal girl, Perdix, would find them interesting, but she wasn't here.

"Stop trying to catch it alive!"

"But I want to dissect it!"

Of course Phosphora had to jinx it. She took a look and saw three humans, Perdix, Magnus, and Gaol. Perdix, who was easy to recognize because of her shorter height and long pigtails, was trying to grab onto a cube-shaped enemy. Said cube-shaped enemy unfolded itself and shot a laser at her. Gaol took this chance and destroyed it.

Perdix pouted in disappointment. "But I wanted to-"

"No." Gaol deadpanned.

"Come on! It could just fold itself up like that, the shell completely blocked our attacks, and it could shoot lasers! I needed to get a closer look... Phosphora? Arlon?"

Phosphora looked behind her to check that Arlon(he didn't talk much) was still there and folded her arms. "What are you doing here?"

Magnus set down his giant sword. "Why _wouldn't_ we be here? This 'whatever-it-is' just plucked a whole city off the map, you gotta be crazy to think that humans are just gonna sit around."

"I understand your logic." Arlon turned around and saw an Aurum shaped like a wheel of cheese. Phosphora expected it to try and run him over, but it shot white panels instead.

"Can I-?" Perdix no, but was cut off by Magnus this time.

"No. Use it for target practice." Whatever the three wanted, Arlon dodged the panels and shot lightning at the Aurum, which exploded.

"...I am not going to get to dissect these, am I?" Perdix asked.

"No." This time, both Magnus and Gaol said it in perfect harmony. Perdix shrugged.

* * *

"Do your thing, Pyro Snake!" The fiery serpent that had given Pit so much trouble before was circling around on the ground, trampling and burning any Aurum that were in it's path.

"At least he hasn't changed much." Pit said.

"Let's hope that's a good thing." Palutena said. "But remember that you'll have to land soon."

"Okay, Lady Palutena!"

"If this guy stabbed you in the back before, why do you trust him?" Dark Pit questioned.

"I don't. But-"

"Shazammitylam!" The sound of exploding Aurum echoed across the islands.

"-he can be helpful to have around." After a moment of thought, Pit added, "Sometimes."

"I'd just say he's lost it."

Viridi snorted. "If he had 'it' to begin with. Ooh! Time to land!"

Pyyrhon yelled, "I'll keep you guys covered from up here!"

"No one asked!" Dark Pit yelled back. "You can't even hold off an army on your own!"

"The Underworld Army and the Forces of Nature can." Medusa said. Even if she wasn't the talkative type, she didn't want to be forgotten. "Just don't screw up."

* * *

Upon landing, Pit said, "This island looks like patchwork."

"That's not surprising. Many planets must have been robbed to make it." Palutena said. "It's not the same island as before, you blew that one up."

"I wonder how many planets were harvested to make this passel." Viridi thought aloud. "At least the Aurum Hive isn't coming back."

Dark Pit didn't care about what they were talking about. "So now what? Split up?"

"No, both of you need to go to that tower in the distance. Phosphora and Arlon can go to the farther one." Palutena said. "I was kind of surprised to see two towers. Last time there was only one. You need to get to the bottom, and destroy the Aurum Core."

Pit and Dark Pit hiked in the direction of the tower. Aurum enemies spiraled and floated around, but either got sniped by Dark Pit or got torn to shreds by the shurikens from Pit's Ninja Palm. Then the white angel had a sudden thought.

"Lady Palutena? Didn't the Aurum Core explode?"

"Yes, but I'll ask Pyrrhon for help."

"So I have to rely on someone who tried to kill me."

"Pretty much. Arlon and Phosphora should be fast enough to escape on their own, but you don't have a choice besides trusting Pyrrhon."

"Then I'm all in!" Pit exclaimed. "If I don't have a choice, I'll gladly trust him!"

A femenine voice rang, "Gladly trust who?" Pit and Dark Pit jumped about a mile(not literally) when Perdix materialized about an inch behind them.

"What are you doing here?!" Dark Pit yelled.

"Hiding from Gaol." Right on cue, the female mercenary's voice echoed across the island, bellowing about a naughty little girl. Perdix grinned. "As I was asking, gladly trust who? I just got here, didn't hear the telepathy."

"Pyrrhon, the Sun God." Pit answered. "He tried to kill me, but hopefully he got over that."

"Pyrrhon? The god who spreads diseases all over and wipes out hundreds of people who can't afford medicine? Fill me in. Starting with this amazingly crafted place." Pit and Dark Pit(but mostly Pit, which made things slightly difficult) told Perdix about the Aurum, how Hyperion was defeated in the simplest way possible, how Hecate had betrayed them, and how thew had fought off the empousa. While walking towards the tower as well.

After a few seconds of processing, Perdix said, "So, let me get this straight. Hyperion is the dumbest Titan and committed suicide, the great goddess Hecate is now evil, and now we have to blow up this well-crafted island _and_ worry about creepy girls?"

Dark Pit nodded. "Pretty much. Wait, what do you mean, 'we'?"

"I walked all this way, I'm not putting that to waste. Besides, beating up aliens sounds like a lot of fun."

"Wait, you're going _with them?!_ Ugh, I'm going to watch Arlon and Phosphora." Viridi grumbled.

Palutena laughed. "Don't mind her. She just doesn't like humans, saying that they destroy nature."

"That's rich, seeing how all gods just leave us to starve and die, while killing us whenever we don't offer our food. Uh, no offense." Perdix sounded salty, but fixed her tone at the end. "At least I can practice my swordplay, too." She said, showing them a short metal blade.(read: changing the subject) "Magnus told me that I couldn't defend myself up close, so he's been teaching me." She explained upon seeing Pit's confusion. "I'd like to tell you that I'm great, but I suck pretty badly."

"I'm not surprised." Dark Pit muttered. "You don't look fit to wield a sword."

"That's probably because I'm not. I'll stick with my staff for now." She brushed the partridge on the top with her hand. "Ooh! Now how did that thing-"

 _POOF!_

"Dark Pit! I wanted to examine it for at least a few seconds!"

"Just kill them!" Dark Pit growled.

* * *

 _"WHEN DID SHE SLIP AWAY?!"_ Gaol yelled.

Magnus grunted. "That girl's getting rebellious. She tried to run away five times. Now she succeeded."

"No wonder. You aren't any fun." Phosphora said. Then Viridi entered her mind.

" _What?! You're_ with humans, too?! This is not my day."

"It's not my day either, mistress Viridi."

"Mistress Viridi, are you stating that the third human, Perdix, is with Pit and Young Master Dark Pit?" Arlon asked.

"Ugh! Anyway, just fly over to that tower over there. Beat the Aurum Core into a pulp, and get out of there as fast as you can!"

"Understood, Mistress Viridi!" Phosphora and Arlon both ignored Magnus and Gaol, rose up into the air, and sped for the tower.

* * *

"Y'know, the least you could do is explain." Magnus grunted as Phosphora and Arlon arrived at the tower.

"What- how-?"

"Teleportation. Now tell us EVERYTHING." Gaol demanded. "Or I'll blast you off this island."

"Wow, someone's being protective." Phosphora said.

"Tell me RIGHT NOW, lightning sprite!" Gaol lit her hand with magic in a threatening manner.

"Calm yourself." Arlon went into a simple version of everything thew knew, while Phosphora glared at the mercenaries.

"...And that is why you should leave this island if you favor your life."

"Okay. Let's beat this Aurum Core into the ground." Magnus declared.

"Did you not hear me?"

"I heard you. But you just gave me a reason to fight these things, not a reason to leave."

Gaol nodded. "Magnus is right. Even if we don't like each other," she glanced at Phosphora, who was still glaring daggers, "we don't really have much of a choice."

"Ugh. Fine. But if you get caught in the explosion, it's your fault!" Phosphora snapped.

Gaol nodded in agreement. "Completely."

* * *

"I hate this thing already." Magnus said. The shield, the disk-shaped guns, and the electrical floor were causing him a lot of trouble. Whenever Phosphora shot lightning(and that happened a lot), he was always in danger of being electrocuted. The fact that Phosphora didn't care whatsoever made it worse.

"Aaaaaand- gotcha!" Gaol exclaimed, sending a magical missile. This made the Aurum Core start gravitating them towards it, into shooting range. But this didn't matter to Magnus, as he was already smashing his sword against the core.

"I calculate that the Aurum Core should not have much energy left. I highly suggest getting ready to escape." Arlon said, delivering a loud blow. The electricity on the floor disappeared, and Gaol sprung forward, grabbed Magnus, and vanished with a _POP_ of dark magic.

"Let's go!" Phosphora and Arlon zipped out of the Aurum Islands, and watched them crumble. Viridi's light enveloped them, and they returned to Skyworld.

* * *

"That shield is still annoying!" Pit complained. His Ninja Palm's homing ability wasn't helping against it. "Mega Laser!"

"Three, two, one!" Perdix shot a blue partridge-shaped projectile, which collided against the Aurum Core's shield. "Can I land a hit for once?!"

"Explosive Flame!" Dark Pit shouted. "Less complaining and more fighting! And stop staring at it with puppy eyes! _PERDIX!"_

"But you have to admit that the artificial gravity is amazing!"

"It's not! It's paralyzing me!"

 _"That's the floor!"_

Pit shouted at them. "Guys, stop arguing! It's halfway done! Just a few more shots!"

Perdix unleashed a blue laser, and it too, bounced off the shield. "Please just ONE HIT! PLEASE!" She continued with a pillar of fire, which worked much better. "YES!"

Pit's eyes widened at the Aurum Core, starting to heat up. "Okay, Pyrrhon. Please don't let us die, even if we'll get revived..." Then he realized, Perdix won't.

* * *

Pit opened his eyes surrounded by fire. Then he realized that Pyrrhon had sandwiched them into a bundle and was carrying them down. It wasn't comfortable.

"Hey! Put me down!" Dark Pit's irritated voice rang through Pit's ears.

Pyrrhon chuckled. "Sure kid, just not here, unless you want to break every bone in your divine body."

"Thanks Pyrrhon!" Pit chirped. "Y'know, for saving us." Then he noticed that only Dark Pit and Pyrrhon were visible. "Wait, where's Perdix?"

Dark Pit grumbled, "Behind you."

"Huh?!" Pit turned his head to check and slapped Perdix in the face with his wing.

"Ow! I already had your feathers in my face!" She spat one out.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You try talking with a wing in your mouth!"

"Uh, thanks, Pyrrhon." Palutena called.

* * *

As Pyrrhon neared the ground, Dark Pit, who had run out of patience, jerked himself free. Unfortunatley for everyone, his gauntlet snagged onto Perdix's tunic/dress, making them both tumble down. Perdix, out of pure instinct, grabbed onto the first thing that she could, which was Pit's right wing. The result was a large pile of flesh.

"Get off!" Dark Pit shouted from the very bottom.

"This wouldn't have happened if you had waited a few more seconds!" Pit complained.

"Pit, why don't you just get off..." Perdix groaned.

As they separated themselves, Perdix stretched and looked far away. Then she paled.

"Crap."

Magnus and Gaol teleported right in front of her face. Perdix cringed fearfully.

As Magnus and Gaol(but mostly Gaol) scolded Perdix for running off, Palutena suggested, "Why don't you ask them to join us, Pit?"

"What?! THREE HUMANS?!" Viridi screeched. "No WAY! NEVER! ONE IS MY LIMIT!"

"But they're strong. And we need all the help we can get. And Viridi, Dyntos has been speaking in strange languages that apparently only he and Perdix can understand, at least we can spare our brains. Ask them, Pit."

Pit asked them and ignored Viridi screaming at him to stop. Their answers were, "Why not?" and "How dare you run away like that- I'm sorry, did you say something?" and "Thanks! I was hoping to join you again!"

"You'd risk your life?" Dark Pit asked in disbelief.

Magnus shook his head. "Not for nothing. You'll still have to sweeten the deal. Unlike Perdix here, I don't fight purely for revenge."

"You'll fight the Underworld Army even if nobody asks you to." Perdix corrected him.

"We're not fighting the Underworld Army, but if there's something they want, I'm sure we can give it." Palutena said.

Gaol shook her head. "I'm sure you can't revive the dead."

Pit brightened up. "We revived Medusa! Maybe-"

"I'm sorry, but no." Palutena cut him off. "Reviving the dead is something Asclepius can do, but it disrupts the celestial balance. We can't risk that with Kronos messing with the flow of time. The Universe would collapse on itself."

"I thought so." Gaol said depressingly.

"Would anyone tell me what's going on?" Magnus demanded, and Perdix repeated the words for him. "If that's the case, I say we fight. Smash this Titan into the ground."

"You'd risk your life? For nothing?" Dark Pit sounded even more surprised.

Perdix shook her head. "Not for nothing. If you lose, it's over. All of it. No more life, no more light. But if 'we' win, there's still life and light to go around. Not just for us, but for everyone. I think that's worth fighting for. I don't need to see that light for myself." She blinked and processed what she had just said for a few seconds. "But I'd certainly like to."

"Exactly." Magnus and Gaol said, then looked at each other. "We don't just fight for personal reasons." Gaol continued.

"Well then, we've got some new allies!" Palutena cheered. "Let's get you back to Skyworld!"

* * *

Back at Skyworld, Zeus saw Magnus and grinned from ear to ear.

"Magnus, son! Lookit that! You're older than me now! Hahaha!"

Pit's head swiveled between Magnus and Zeus. "Wait, what? Magnus, you're half god?"

Magnus scowled and looked away from Zeus. Apparently he didn't like being 'older' than his father.

Gaol chuckled. "Didn't you think that that strength was a _little_ inhuman? Magnus is a demigod."

"A what?" Pit asked. Gaol looked surprised to see that Pit didn't know what a demigod was.

"A demigod. The child of a human and a god." Palutena explained. "Oh wait, Lady Hera?" She glanced nervously at the queen of the heavens, who was steaming with so much anger her face had turned red. "Maybe I could, er-"

"No." Hera huffed. "I'll be leaving now, Palutena." The goddess stormed out of the room, with Zeus at her heels, trying to make up for his mistake.

"Guess I'll be avoiding my stepmother." Magnus grumbled. "At all times."

Pit winced. "This could be better."

"They'll get along eventually." Palutena said with forced cheerfulness. She saw the look Viridi, Dark Pit, and Phosphora were giving her and tried to be more realistic. "Hopefully."

* * *

The Aurum Islands fell to the ground, and were swarmed by all sorts of different monsters. Aima the empousa barked orders as the lesser minions gathered pieces of the islands and took them away, to a place far out of sight. Working like ants, the remains of the newly made Aurum Islands vanished in seconds, becoming a trail of monsters and materials.

* * *

Lauren: Soooooooooooooooo sorry about the wait! I have tests coming up soon, and unless I do something about my history grade, and my technology grade, and my health grade, and my- well, you get the idea. I practically have the enitre story planned out by this point, so once vacation starts *grins happily* updates will come out as fast as they used to. That is considering I don't get caught up in any new games, but I don't have a Switch, or even a Wii U(can't afford them and it's devastating because Breath of the Wild). But for now there's gonna be a long wait. Once again, I'm sorry about that. And wow I just made a block of text.

Dark Pit: Just don't make a wall of text. Unless you want to get shot with an arrow.

Lauren: Don't shoot me. Unless you want to get sniped.

Palutena: I'm sure you would be great at killing each other, but try to focus on different things.

Perdix: Like those Aurum! There were so many different-

Phosphora: Shut up.

Perdix: -of creatures that could-

Phosphora: Shut up.

Perdix: -all sorts of amazing things-

Phosphora: FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT UP!

Perdix: -and I have to find out how!

Medusa: That is the perfect example of blocking out someone else.

Perdix: Huh? Did you say something?

Medusa: But that is unbelivable.

Lauren: Phosphora, can't you act like your normal self? We all like your normal self.

Phosphora: Around humans? Is that a joke?

Lauren: Eh, they'll grow on you.

Viridi: No, they won't. Humans will never grow on the Forces of Nature.

Lauren: Wanna bet? *wink* Wow this got really long. I wanted to make the Aurum Core battle a little longer, but let's admit it, Pit can take that thing out on his own pretty fast. And on a completely unrelated topic, sorry if I messed up anything! Typos, grammar, spelling, name it, I'll do my best to fix it. Thanks for reading!


	19. Cosmic Chaos

Lauren: *running around in circles*

Dark Pit: *glaring*

Lauren: *singing random song*

Pit: *shuffling nervously*

Lauren: YEAH! TESTS ARE OVER! VACATION IS HERE!

Medusa: Satisfied?

Lauren: You BET I am!

Medusa: That didn't work.

Gaol: She's got dark circles under her eyes. I'm pretty sure that means she's sleep-deprived and needs to crash.

Lauren: *does a cartwheel*

Magnus: Yet she's still up and running.

Lauren: WHOO HOO!

Viridi: I guess that means she finally snapped. These new chapters should be interesting.

Perdix: If by 'interesting', you mean 'crazy'. And by 'crazy', I mean 'absolutely insane'.

Phosphora: Just like her mental state!

Pyrrhon: Party time! Pyrrhon loves a party!

Phosphora: And his.

Disclaimer: I'm not crazy! Yet. Do I own the KI series? Nope!

* * *

Skyworld had changed a LOT since not only Viridi, Dark Pit, Phosphora, Arlon, Perdix, Magnus, Gaol, and an ARMY OF GODS had started staying. The gods had changed Skyworld to resemble their domain little by little. For example, Viridi had slowly covered Skyworld with plant life, Dyntos had made a personal forge, Zeus had created small thunderclouds that everybody was wary of, and Poseidon's place had flooded, now covered in seaweed and brimming with sea life. But Pit had to wonder if the gods were actually changing Skyworld themselves. Viridi and Dyntos had taken matters into their own hands, but Poseidon claimed that he hadn't flooded anything.

It wasn't just the look of Skyworld that had changed. Skyworld had always been so perfect and pristine, and it had a feeling of beauty and peace. That Skyworld had felt like a castle or a mansion, but now it was more like a city, with people roaming around in a hurry, the differences of decoration, and a sense of tension and nervousness. After Hecate had shown her true colors, most the gods had been wary of each other, preparing for any possible betrayal. And their servants had acted the same way around each other.

"I'm not sure if I like the new Skyworld." Pit admittted to Arlon, who he had been talking to. "It's lively, but nobody seems to trust anyone completely anymore. What about you, Arlon?"

"I prefer trusting a possible traitor over distrusting a friend." He responded. "Mistress Viridi has her suspicions, and so does Young Master Dark Pit. But I, and Phosphora, would rather belive in everyone we can. It's very reassuring to think of the many allies we have."

Pit nodded in understanding. "Oh. It's just, Kronos seems to know our every move. Every time we're ready to attack, he's got something new up his sleeve."

"It's simple. He does have people here, but I wouldn't distrust others and poison an alliance." Arlon said calmly. "Why? Do you suspect anyone, Young Master Pit?"

"Umm..."

Arlon cracked a faint smile. "Why don't we start with something easy? Do you trust Lady Palutena?"

Pit backed away in surprise. "Of course I do! I belive in Lady Palutena no matter what!"

"Then Mistress Viridi?"

"Yeah! She's saved my skin a lot!"

"Young Master Dark Pit?"

"We're connected! He can't live without me!"

"Phosphora?"

"She hates humans, but that's not a reason to not trust her."

"Me?"

"You're having this conversation with me, Of course I trust you, Arlon!"

"Then what about Perdix? Magnus, or Gaol? Lord Dyntos? Maybe Lord Aeolus and his wind nymphs?"

"I trust Perdix, Magnus helped me out a lot before, and Gaol isn't a Dark Lord anymore. Lord Dyntos made the Great Sacred Treasure to defeat Hades, and Lord Aeolus and the nymphs really do their best to help and please everyone. I trust them all."

Arlon nodded. "And Medusa?"

Pit flinched. "Not really... Sure, she sent those Titans back to Tartarus, but she said that she's finish what she started. I can't help but worry about Lady Palutena's safety because of that."

"Medusa has been with Lady Palutena for a while now. They seem to be recovering their sisterly relationship." Arlon said. "Do you see? The more you think about it, Kronos's people seem more and more nonexistent. Just worry about the day they reveal themselves."

"Yeah! Thanks, Arlon!" Pit's smile grew back to its normal size, and he ran off.

* * *

Phos and Lux whinnied happily as they saw Phosphora approach them. She held out her hand and pet them on their noses.

"Hey there. Sorry that I couldn't visit as much lately." She gave each of them apples. "I brought you guys some snacks. Eat up!" Phosphora watched the unicorns eat peacefully. She didn't hear Perdix approaching until Lux neighed and tilted his head in her direction.

"Um..." Perdix held up her hands in a surrendering manner. "I just came here because I was curious."

"About what? You're always in the forge, not caring about a thing." Phosphora snapped.

Perdix rolled her eyes. "The forge is great, but it's tiring. You wouldn't last a day in there. These horses aren't like any living being I've ever seen. So I wanted to check them out."

"What, like they're one of your, what was it? Automatons? These horses aren't ANYTHING like those hunks of metal."

"That's not what I meant. Horses are rare in the first place, but I know that I'd get kicked if I tried examining one. I meant as an animal. I didn't want to examine them like they're some sort of contraption."

"You wanted to play with them? Go ahead. Try petting them." Phosphora said, certain that Phos and Lux would avoid her hand. But to the lightning sprite's surprise, Phos nuzzled Perdix's hand as it came close. Then Lux got jealous and headbutted her for attention.

"Hee hee! They're cute!" She giggled. "Right, Phosphora?"

"Yeah, they're cute. I wish that guys could always be this cute." Phosphora said. "Wouldn't that be great?"

"I never thought about it. Humans have to be thankful for being alive, so cuteness isn't really important." She said it as if it were obvious, but to Phosphora, being alive wasn't anything to be thankful for. Perdix's world seemed drastically different from hers.

Phos moved over to Perdix to search for apples, but yelped and backed away.

"What happened?" Phosphora demanded.

"I don't know!" Perdix and Phosphora both looked at the stable. "Oh, I get it. He poked himself on that piece of wood." Perdix said. Phosphora reached down and pulled the small source of pain of the stable.

"Guess you can't avoid these when cutting wood with an axe." She grumbled.

Perdix blinked. Phosphora could almost hear the gears turning in her head. "With an axe... Hmmm..."

"Would everyone please gather to the temple? We have to take care of something." Palutena said telepathetically.

* * *

"Can't you at least give us an explanation?" Dark Pit complained. "Instead of just dropping us on this Aurum ship?"

Pit paled. "This isn't an Aurum ship. It's-"

"The Space Pirate ship." Palutena finished. "The Aurum Islands are down there."

"That's a lot of islands." Magnus commented.

Gaol nodded. "And a lot of control towers."

"Exactly. So the plan is to take down the new Space Pirate Captain, get the ship on the ground, and blow up the engine." Palutena explained. "The massive explosion should engulf the Aurum Islands, destroying them. Then we can move onto the Aurum Brain."

"That was my plan!" Viridi piped up. "Pretty good, if I do say so myself. Just make sure you're not anywhere near the ship when it explodes."

"Okay. Does anybody have a bomb?" Perdix asked.

"..."

"It's okay! There are a lot of bombs on the Space Pirate ship-" Palutena began.

"That explode on contact." Pit finished.

Perdix bit her lip nervously, and said, "We'll figure something out."

Doors opened, and Space Pirates hurried out, readying cannons. Unfortunately, when fighting against _seven_ powerful foes, it's hard to last a long time. The no-longer-large-group of Space Pirates didn't stop fighting, effectively getting themselves annihilated.

"Yeah, let's just go to the engine room." Pit said, lowering his End-All Arm.

"No, most of you are used to fighting alone. I say that you split up and try to find a way to get the ship down to avoid friendly fire." Palutena objected.

Dark Pit nodded. "Yeah, someone shot me in the shoulder." Perdix whistled quietly in the corner.

* * *

"What the-" Magnus was cut off by Gaol, as the two had traveled together.

"Are those... stars?" The armored mage asked. "The Space Pirates steal _stars?"_

"Looks like it. Let's look around somewhere else." Magnus said, only to be interrupted by three Space Pirates. "After I bash their heads in."

Gaol didn't say anything, and just watched Magnus swing his sword around, sending the Space Pirates flying.

* * *

"THESE. THINGS. DON'T. STOP. COMING!" Dark Pit growled. He had set out on his own, but had ran into a very large mob of Space Pirates. Some very smart Space Pirates, to be exact. Once he cut one down, another rolled into him. Then he was shot by a sniper. That made him very, very, very angry.

"Oh, it is ON!" The mob became nonexistent due to a very cross dark angel.

"Need a health recovery?" Viridi teased. "Those Space Pirates seem to be a little over what you're used to."

"I don't need anything! I'm not Pit!" Dark Pit snapped.

* * *

"Ooh, what's this?" Phosphora opened a treasure chest excitedly, only for the treasure chest to fight back with magical beams. "Wha-whaaaaat?! Ow!" As if it was insulting her, Pandora's box spat out three hearts.

"Why did I fall for that?"

Palutena laughed. "Maybe because you were daydreaming about-"

"I wasn't daydreaming about anybody!" Phosphora shouted.

"I can see right into your mind." The goddess of light reminded her. "There's no need to hide anything from me. And besides, who said you were daydreaming about _somebody?_ "

"Argh!"

* * *

Perdix had arrived at the engine room with an armful of bombs. She used her staff to make a large container for the various bombs, so all she needed was a fuse. But if she wanted enough time to actually get off the ship before it blew, she would need a really long fuse. Unfortunately, the Space Pirate Ship seemed to be rather short on strings.

"This is gonna be hard, isn't it?"

Perdix left the room, still carrying the bombs, in search of a possible fuse. Her search led her all the way to Arlon the Serene, who was opening a treasure chest.

"Hey Arlon, did you see anything I can use as a fuse?" She asked. Arlon thought for a moment, then shook his head.

"I believe not, but maybe you could use these switches in some way?" He suggested. There were four switches, all pressed.

Perdix brightened. "Switchs, huh... then," she pointed her staff and tore the switches out of the floor, pulling out wires, "this should do the trick. Thanks, Arlon!"

"My pleasure, Perdix." He said at the disappearing girl.

* * *

"Wait, why did I have to be the one to find him?" Pit asked, but got no answer except the gibberish of the Space Pirate Captain. "I wonder what he's saying. Probably something about the space plank again." For some reason, the Space Pirate Captain wasn't happy to hear that. He stomped his foot, and the floor rolled like a treadmill, sending Pit all the way to a wall, leaving the Space Pirate Captain well out of the range of his End-All Arm.

"What did I do to deserve that?" Pit asked. Instead of spouting more nonesense, the Space Pirate Captain pulled readied a gun. A very long, very large, very dangerous-looking gun. "Uh oh."

 _BOOM!_

"Ack! Why did he have to be a sniper?!" Pit screamed as he narrowly avoided the explosion. "Okay then. All I need to do is get in range. Snipers are slow, so I should-" Another missle shot out as if to say _I_ _nner monologue, stupid._

Pit either ignored or failed to acknowledge the captain's unspoken message. "If he fires that quickly, I should use a sheild. But I don't have one, so I'll have to settle for the Reflect Barrier and Brief Invincibility." He decided.

The next missle probably meant _Shut up._ For obvious reasons.

* * *

"He's... getting... ready... REFLECT BARRIER!" Much to Pit's satisfaction, the missle exploded on the Space Pirate Captain's face. The ship shuddered violently in response. "Uagh!" Pit unintentionally hugged the floor. "The ship is mind-controlled? Is that a good thing?"

"Probably. If you defeat him, the ship will collapse. Sorry I took so long to get here." Palutena said. "I had too much fun teasing Phosphora."

Pit attacked the Space Pirate Captain with his End-All Arm, and the Captain returned fire with missles that meant _OW,_ and _Go away,_ and _I hate you!_

Pit activated his invincibility, furthur annoying the Space Pirate Captain, who spouted gibberish.

"What do you think he's saying, Lady Palutena?"

"Something around the lines of _'You cheating, scurvy dog!'_ " Palutena replied.

"Am I cheating?"

"No, I wouldn't say that. But the Space Pirate Captain sure is unhappy."

"Oh. Okay!"

* * *

"Ow! Hey!" The Space Pirate Captain smacked Pit with his gun again. "Ack!"

"I guess he _is_ capable of melee." Palutena said. "Keep your distance."

"I knew I didn't want to test that..." Pit blocked the next missle with another Reflect Barrier, and gave the Captain a nice smack to send him flying off his own ship. "Yeah! Off the space plank!"

Viridi, who had just arrived snorted and said, "But there _was_ no space plank." The Space Pirate ship fell towards the Aurum Islands, crashing with an ear-splitting sound.

"Everyone okay?" Pit called.

Gaol was the first to reply. "We're fine. Nearly burned to death but fine."

Dark Pit was next. "What the heck did you do?!"

"Aww, the Mimicutie got away..." Phosphora whined.

"Just allow me to free myself from this light fixture. Good." Arlon said.

"Can everyone shut up for a few seconds?! I'm trying to figure out how to use this Flame Card without blowing myself up!" Perdix snapped.

* * *

"So once we hit this switch, we have about fifteen seconds until the entire ship goes boom." Dark Pit clarified. The switch had been set up outside the engine room, and Perdix didn't seem completely satisfied with it.

"I would have liked more wire. But there wasn't so much I could do with a smart bomb, a flame card, and four grenades. Do you have any idea how hard it is to use a flame card on a wire?"

"Never tried." Phosphora deadpanned. "Let's hit this and get out of here."

Palutena hummed a peaceful tune. "I'm ready to pick you up."

* * *

The wire, granted the ability to burn, struck the bombs, which exploded and broke the engine. You can imagine what happened from there. Let's just say that it was an amazing sight to see.

"That explosion..." Hecate murmured, "it destroyed every Aurum Core. But the islands themselves..."

Kronos's laugh echoed through the area. "They are perfect. Salvage away. Those gods don't know what they're doing for me."

* * *

Lauren: Vacation's here, I really hope I can hurry up. There's not much to talk about with this chapter, but we're going to the Aurum Brain next time! And Pyrrhon is gonna have one awesome time, too. And if anyone here wants Darby to write her fanfics, she's got some stuff planned. So I'm going to bet that you'll have GREAT time!

Lauren: ...I'm going to end this off here.

Pit: Wait-!

Lauren: Buh-bye!


	20. The End of the Aurum Brain

Dark Pit: ...What the heck are you doing?

Lauren: I'm putting cucumber slices on my sunburn. What some? *offers cucumbers*

Dark Pit: No way.

Lauren: It's good for the skin. Phosphora?

Phosphora: *already covered in cucumber slices* Yeah?

Lauren: Never mind. Perdix? Gaol? Palutena or Viridi?

Palutena and Viridi: We don't need any.

Viridi: A goddess doesn't need anything like that for her skin.

Gaol: *still wearing full armor* No thanks.

Perdix: *eating the cucumber slices absentmindedly*

Pit: Why are you eating those?!

Perdix: (mouth full)Mmmph mmmph mmmph! Mmmph mmmph mmmph mmmph.

Pit: Forget it.

Perdix: *swallows* I was hungry. They weren't on my face anyway.

Lauren: *grabs laptop* Okay... I don't wanna do this! WHY DID I DECIDE ON THIS STORY?!

Arlon: May I be of assistance?

Lauren: *sniffle* No, really... I have to do this alone... I'm sorry! And vacation is over... WHYYYYYYYY?! *sob* ...I'll stop pretending to cry now.

Disclaimer: I'm so sorry! I really am! For taking this long and what this chapter is! Oh right, I don't own Kid Icarus.

* * *

"Hey, Perdix!" Dark Pit called the brunette somewhat angrily while knocking on a door. "What are you doing?! The Aurum aren't going to wait!"

 _SLAM!_

"Dark Pit! Check this out!" Perdix nearly pushed the door off its hinges, but thankfully it stayed intact, and narrowly missed Dark Pit's nose.

Dark Pit took one step back in alarm. "What?!"

She shoved a piece of serrated metal in his face. "Look! I made it after a snake's jawbone! It makes cutting wood safer and easier! I call it the _saw!"_ Her green eyes glittered with happiness. "This will be revolutionary for wood cutting! The wood will be prepared faster! It will be smoother! And-"

"Yeah, yeah, that's great. But we got a REALLY BIG PROBLEM! Grab your staff and get out!" Dark Pit yelled at her and dashed off to where everyone else was waiting.

"Aren't you at least going to say something about my saw?"

Dark Pit didn't stop running, but he glanced back. "Can it cut Aurum?"

"No... But-"

"Then leave it."

"But-"

"LEAVE. IT."

"...Fine."

Perdix tossed her dangerous, sharp, and heavy piece of metal behind her, grabbed her staff, and failed to note the possible damage that might come from tossing her saw without even looking. What a cautious little girl, right? Right.

* * *

"You have to take the Lightning Chariot. Unfortunately, it's pretty small. Only a few of you can ride it." Palutena said. "We've already been pushing the limit with too many people."

Medusa rolled her eyes. "They're not blind. Just tell them that Pit and the Forces of Nature are the only ones going already."

"What?!" All three humans yelled in unison.

"Pit and Dark Pit will share the Lightning Chariot. It's a tight fit with only two people, we don't want anyone to fall out. Like I said, we've already been pushing the limit." Palutena explained. "You three can go down the ground and keep your fellow humans safe."

"But I want to fight! I can levitate! You don't have a reason to stop me from going!" Perdix growled. "It's not like I'll be in danger of getting consumed as long as I have my staff!"

"No. I am _not_ letting you out of my sight." Gaol deadpanned. "End of story. After that mess of yours from last time, it's clear that you can't-"

"Oh, let the kid go, Gaol."

 _"Magnus?!"_

"Let her be fully responsible for her actions. If she gets in trouble, let her get out of it on her own. Any human will get stronger in a life-or-death situation." Magnus said with his arms crossed. "She's never going to be able to defend herself if you keep being overprotective."

"She could _DIE,_ Magnus!" Gaol cried. "Do you want to see her dead? Like your child-"

"I CAN DEFEND MYSELF!" Perdix shouted at the top of her lungs. Her fists were clenched around her staff so hard that her knuckles were pure white. "I'm not a little kid anymore! I can fight, you saw that for yourself! You trained me! I-I won't..." Perdix lowered her head and took a deep breath, her fists trembling. "I WILL COME HOME ALIVE! YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE!"

Gaol's face was hidden behind her helmet, but the her surprise at Perdix's outburst was obvious.

"If we are to be realistic, there really isn't anything you can do to stop Perdix from fighting against Kronos and the Aurum." Arlon popped up from almost nowhere, surprising everybody. "She is in her 'rebellious phase.' I believe that Perdix will fight, with or without your permission."

At Arlon's statement, Palutena blinked and glanced at Pit, possibly wondering if Pit was in his 'rebellious phase' or not.

"I'll come home safely, promise!" Perdix pleaded. Gaol was silent, and only stared at the girl.

Magnus nodded. "Just keep that promise."

"Yeah." Gaol removed her helmet, revealing her face and long blonde hair. Not many people had seen Gaol with her helmet off, so a few were surprised. "Magnus is right." She looked at Palutena. "We'll be down at the human world like you suggested. Normally I'd go with Perdix, but leaving Magnus alone can be... troubling."

"Hey!"

Palutena nodded. "Okay. Now that that's sorted out, let's destroy the Aurum Brain once and for all!"

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit jumped into the Lightning Chariot, making Phosphora pout.

"Are you sure you can drive as well as me, Dark Pit? Shouldn't I be the one with the reins?"

Dark Pit shook his head. "We need to save the power of flight, and I can drive."

"You sure you don't need me to keep you company?"

"No."

"Pittoo's a good driver. We'll be fine!" Pit said cheerfully. Perdix was trying to wrap her head around how both boys were missing Phosphora's intention. She was also trying her very best not to laugh.

Phosphora trudged away from the angels to Perdix, who was now holding her mouth shut in order to contain a laughing fit. "Pffft. How are they so clueless?"

"I'll bet that you'd be even more clueless if someone tried to flirt with you. Not that anyone would in the first place."

"That was supposed to be an insult, right? I really can't tell."

"You're just as clueless as them. You even _look_ like them, now that I think about it."

Perdix fingered her hair, twisting it in her fingers. "Really? I don't spend a lot of time staring at my reflection like you or Narcissus, so... I wouldn't know."

"Are you comparing me to Narcissus? I guess I do look the part." Phosphora said smugly, leaving Perdix exasperated and trying to get her fingers out of her hair.

"We're dropping you right into the fray." Palutena said.

Pit looked at the goddess in confusion. "The fray? They're already fighting?"

Medusa grumbled, "I'm not useless, you know. My Underworld Amy has been keeping the Aurum busy. Or at least the portion that isn't under Kronos' control is."

"Really? Thanks!"

Pit rode the Lightning Chariot out of the door, and almost immediately was blasted by the Aurum. The Underworld army attacked relentlessly, and the Aurum forces pressed down with all their might. Shots were fired, final blows were dealt, and the earth was dangerously close.

"You weren't kidding!" Pit yelled. "This is crazy!"

"Just keep calm and destroy enemies." Arlon offered.

"What do you think I'm trying to do?!"

Phosphora laughed. "Obviously not trying to stay calm."

"Guys! Is THAT the Aurum Brain?!" Perdix pointed the large looming structure.

"No, it's just the fortress containing the Aurum Brain." Palutena told her.

Perdix frowned. "It's not as well built as the islands... I can even do this." Perdix pointed her staff at the fortress, and a large portion of the surface was ripped off and smashed into the Aurum troops. It continued to float and fly around, crushing everything in its path like a giant flyswatter of doom. "...This is surprisingly fun," she said, "take that, space scum!"

"Hey, I call them space scum!" Pit exclaimed.

"Ahem. That flyswatter- I mean... uh, thing was covering up the entrance we used the first time. Go straight for the Aurum Brain, Pit!" Palutena said.

"Go first. This is really fun!" Perdix called out. "I mean, I'll guard the entrance! Yeah! Eat this!"

Viridi smirked. "You look like a child in a toystore."

"AND PYRRHON IS ON THE SCENE!"

Viridi's teasing was instantly replaced by a groan. "Not this guy again..."

"Pyrrhon! Are you here to take control over the Aurum Brain again?!" Pit demanded.

The self-proclaimed sun god's smile didn't even waver. "Of course not! I'm just here to get my revenge on that hunk of space junk!" He flew into the Aurum Brain fortress, making nearly everybody groan.

Dark Pit snarled. "I don't buy it. Not one bit of it."

"This time, I'm with Pittoo. I don't want to get stabbed in the back again." Pit said with a hint of depression.

"Your only choice is to get to the Aurum Brain before he does!" Palutena told the angles.

"Not a problem with the Lightning Chariot!" Dark Pit cracked the reins. "Phos! Lux! Giddyup!" The unicorns blasted shots from their horns, and trampled everything in their way, excluding Pyrrhon.

* * *

"What just happened?" Viridi asked. "I can't see anything."

Medusa narrowed her eyes. "Me neither. we've been cut off."

"But how?" Palutena looked at the other two goddesses, who merely shrugged.

Then they screamed.

* * *

"Huh? That's strange." Perdix said, puzzled.

"What's the matter? You're only just noticing that you've killed every Aurum in a fifty meter radius?" Phosphora snorted.

Perdix shook her head. "No. There's magic in the air, but I didn't do anything."

Arlon looked at the girl. "But you are the only one who does more than attack with magic."

"That's my point. I think it's some kind of shield or barrier. I'm not sure what kind exactly, though."

"What do you think, Mistress Viridi?" Phosphora asked, but received no answer. "That's even more strange. She's not answering."

Arlon nodded with a finger on his chin. "The only possible answer would be that our connection has been severed."

Phosphora raised a suspecting eyebrow at Perdix. "Weren't you able to do that?"

"With Hecate's book, yes. But not now. Doesn't that mean that-"

"Hecate's got control here?!" Phosphora screeched.

"Ow, go easy on my ears, Phosphora."

"Screw your ears!"

* * *

"Full speed ahead!" Pit yelled. Phos and Lux's horns started to glow with power.

"Get down!" Dark Pit snapped. "I can't see!"

The Lighting Chariot barged ahead, and the Aurum Brain came into view. It was unchanged, except being slightly blackened. Energy shot out from the two horns of the unicorns, and collided with the Aurum Brain with a flash of light. The chariot swerved away and circled the brain slowly(or just as slow as the Lightning Chariot can get). But when Pit and Dark Pit managed to look back, there was only a long, thin, crack.

"How-?!"

"That's impossible!"

Just then, Phosphora zipped in. "Guys! Bad news! Really bad news!"

"What!?" Pit asked/shouted(both, really).

"Hecate's blocked our connection with the gods, so don't hope for any support!"

Perdix and Arlon came along as quickly as possible, even though it was pretty slow compared to Phosphora.

"Jeez, Sparky, wait for us, will ya?!" Perdix barely managed to say while gasping for breath.

Phosphora blinked. "Did you just call me Sparky?"

"It's shorter than Phosphora, okay?"

Arlon gazed at the Aurum Brain. "Even a powerful blow from the Lightning Chariot couldn't break it. How grudgingly impressive. And beautiful..."

"The only thing beautiful about that... _thing,_ is that crack!" Phosphora screamed. "Hey, Perdix! You're the nerd here, tell us how to break it!"

Perdix shook her head. "I don't know what that brain is made of. Or how it was made. So I don't know any weaknesses." Upon receiving multiple glares, she raised her hands in defense and said, "But we could make it softer with heat! It might work, okay?! Don't shoot me!"

"DID YOU ASK FOR HEAT?! PYRRHON IS ON THE JOB!" The sun god slipped into everyone's view and gathered fiery energy. "Pyro cannon action!" Pyrrhon's heat blasted the Aurum Brain at point blank.

"C'mon!" Dark Pit grabbed Phosphora, while Pit barely managed to snag Arlon and Perdix while passing by.

Pit looked back. He had been chased out by Pyrrhon's flames again, leaving him alone with the Aurum Brain. And Pyrrhon was laughing. _Again._

"Not this..."

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Pyrrhon's image appeared in front of the fortress. "That's one barbecued brain for you!"

"Huh?"

"Look, those space idiots are still green. See that? Green as seaweed." Pyrrhon pointed out. Some Aurum that had somehow survived Perdix's flyswatter of doom passed by, and they were, in fact, still green. "That's proof that I'm on your side."

Pit's chest was filled with a mixture of confusion and relief. So Pyrrhon _was_ on their side. He had been so certain that the sun god would stab them in the back again, but apparently, he had been wrong. Said sun god flew out of the burning interior of the Aurum Brain fortress, laughing like a manic.

"The inside's pretty hot, but I'll keep you from burning up. Now, GET RID OF THE AURUM ONCE AND FOR ALL!" The sun god felt a hand on his arm, and turned around to see Hecate, the goddess of magic, floating beside him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Pyrrhon gulped.

* * *

Pit and Dark Pit readied the Lightning Chariot for another blast. Pyrrhon's 'pyro cannon' had made the Aurum Brain bright red, and the formerly pale inside had turned into strangely familiar hot pink sparkles. The delicate, thin, crack made a decorative white web.

"HOLD IT!" Perdix's tone went so high, her voice cracked. Phosphora snickered.

"What's the problem?" Pit asked. "Were you trying to be an attorney or something?"

"What? No! What I'm saying is, that brain looks just like the Space Pirate Ship's engine! If we break it, it'll blow!"

Phosphora rolled her eyes and lazily dodged a shot from a Tribyte. "So? If that's what you're worried about, just get out. We'll be revived anyway."

Perdix chewed her lip nervously and blew up the Tribyte that had attacked Phosphora. "I dunno, I got a bad feeling about this... It's a human trait. We can tell when something's going to go wrong, even without any idea why or how. Y'know, intuition."

Arlon nodded. "Perdix's intuition is correct. A god cannot die, unless there are no more remaining worshippers. However, a sprite, a nymph, or even a angel can die eternally if a god is either unwilling of unable to resurrect them. It is very complicated, but that is all I know about the laws of death."

"Of course. That was Kronos's plan from the start. One of us is going to die here, whether we like it or not." Dark Pit took his frustration out on a tulip-shaped Plixo.

"WHAT?! But- but then...!" Pit could barely force out a full sentence. "I don't wanna die!"

Phosphora smacked him. "Well, duh! Who would possibly want to die?! Nobody, that's who!" She shot lightning at a passing Jyok and said, "Except this guy."

"No need to state the obvious." Perdix grumbled.

As these words bounced back and forth between the four, Arlon floated behind Phosphora, and struck her from behind, thrusting her into Dark Pit. A swarm of bright blue and green orbs knocked Perdix on top of Pit, making the two a tangled mess of limbs.

"What-"

"-the-"

"-heck?!"

"Arlon!"

"I am so very sorry. Please give Mistress Viridi my apologies for not giving her a proper goodbye." Arlon cloaked everyone in darkness like a father would pull a blanket over a child. Phos and Lux took off for the exit- one of the two sources of light. Arlon turned to face the other source of light, the Aurum Brain.

"I guess this isn't the worst way to die."

There was a flash of multicolored light, and Arlon was no longer cloaked in darkness. The white explosion of flames swallowed him instantly.

* * *

"What just happened?" Pit asked weakly. He looked around to see Dark Pit with his eyes wide, Perdix sprawled on the ground, and Phosphora shell-shocked. They were in Skyworld, but instead of Palutena and Viridi waiting for them, he was greeted with the sight of Hecate, Aima the over-sexualized empousa, and a large man with cold eyes and dark hair in full battle armor.

"Who the hell are you?" Dark Pit's eyes narrowed to match his snarl.

Aima tilted her head. "Hon, you should address Lord Atlas with more respect. Otherwise you'll have your head on his spear, and that would be a pity."

"Where's Lady Palutena?! And Viridi?!" Pit demanded. "What did you do with them?!"

Hecate smiled kindly, _too_ kindly, to the point that it was disturbing. "They didn't stand a chance against Lord Atlas. And neither will you."

"What?!" Phosphora still looked frightened, but her face now contained a small amount of anger. "You hurt Mistress Viridi?! How dare you!"

Perdix finally picked herself off the floor. "What I want to know is how the hell you got here in the first place."

"Watch your language, little girl." Atlas opened his mouth for the first time.

"Oh what, 'hell?' If that counts as bad language, I'd like to know where you live. Some kind of dreamy land of rainbows, I'd guess?" She snapped.

"No, I lived on a mountain, holding up the sky. You wanna guess who's holding it up now? Which one of your precious gods is holding the most painful burden ever?"

His eyes flicked over to Pit, who felt like _he_ was the one holding up the sky. "No... Lady Palutena..."

"Well, it's definitely not this guy." He gestured to a white face of makeup with wide eyes and a crazy smile. "He's the one who let us in, and as his reward, he'll be much more than the Lord of the Winds."

"Yipee! I can't wait!" Aeolus did a happy dance and blew around the room, leaving a trail of powder. "I'll finally get the respect I deserve!" His expression suddenly changed from _crazy_ to _absolutely d_ _eranged._ "And you can enjoy the trip I booked specially for you!" A cyclone gathered up the four, and tossed them out of Skyworld, down to the land below.

* * *

Lauren: ...

Lauren: Normally, I wouldn't want to talk, but I still have to say I'm sorry for any possible errors. And the long wait. And about Arlon...


	21. Where am I?

Lauren: ...

Disclaimer: ...(You know by now)

* * *

Pit had been thrust at the ground by some really angry winds, thanks(no thanks) to Aelous. But for some reason, his body didn't hurt, nor had the fall killed him. Or maybe he had died for good and ended up in the Underworld? But this place didn't look like the Underworld. Last he checked, the Underworld hadn't been covered in snow.

With some difficulty, he managed to dig his legs out of the snow, and looked around. There was nobody in sight.

"Where am I?" He muttered.

"Your final resting place," said a familiar voice. Pit jerked his head around and came face-to-face with Aima, the red headed, grudgingly pretty, and _very_ disturbing empousa. Pit could have sworn that he had to be more-than-half-blind to have missed her when she literally had her claws at his throat.

Aima frowned. "Or it should have been. How are you still alive?"

"Um..." Pit searched for something to say, but Aima dangerously close, and it was distracting, not to mention embarassing. The wind blew around him, oddly warm.

"What is it? Cat got your tounge?" She grinned widely. "Or do you just like my presense?" Pit was a little too intimidated to say _no._ "Just tell me how you're alive, and I'll convice Lord Kronos to spare you. Isn't that what you want?" Up close, she smelled sweet, but not a nice kind of sweet, but a sickly sweet scent that made Pit think of a poisonous flower.

The wind that should have been icy cold was starting to really bother Pit. It made the falling snow shift from side to side, like a nervous bystander watching a bloody fight, getting ready to interfere if the situation got bad. A few of the flakes that were already on the ground moved to the right side of Pit's view. Some snow started to swirl in place, gathering with the wind.

Aima glanced to her left. "I should have known," she lashed out and left deep gashes in the wind nymph's arm, "that it was never in your nature to kill anybody." Pit looked at the wind nymph with long flowing hair, and recognized her as Zestos. Her eyes were brimming with tears as she clutched her arm, dripping blood.

"Betrayal." Aima growled, "Time to die, wind nymph. You tried to let this angel live, and now you will pay for it."

Zestos shook her head. Aima blinked.

Zestos screamed at the top of her lungs.

Aima blanched. "Are you mad?! He'll be here any second now!" Zestos nodded with a proud, pained, and slightly sad grin. The empousa snarled and disappeared with a _poof_ and a small cloud of fog.

"Wh-what just happened?" Pit asked.

"Aima values her life, so I made her leave." Zestos said with a shudder. "Wind nymphs are peacefull spirits, so we would rather not side with Kronos. But we must follow our master's orders, otherwise be brutally punished."

"I don't understand-"

"Please, I sealed my fate by bringing you out of your fall. The most I could do is drive that empousa away." Zestos's gaze hardened. "I would have died anyway, so the most you can do is to convince him that you are Kronos's enemy."

"Who's him?!" Even as the angel said it, the bright outline of a large man in shining golden armor with a golden sword appeared behind Zestos.

"He is-"Zestos didn't get to finish her sentence as she was slashed from shoulder to hip and exploded into a cyclone of warm wind, leaving nothing behind but a daunting scream.

"Chrysaor." The man finished in a deep voice. "Son of Medusa."

* * *

"You didn't even try." Dark Pit said to a trembling wind nymph. "First you let me live out of instinct. Then you decide to kill me so that you don't get punished. But _then_ you don't want to kill me so you think about it until I wake up, and _finally_ you decide to kill me, but get disarmed in a matter of seconds. Am I right about that?"

The wind nymph nodded. Dark Pit was glad to not have a slit throat, but couldn't help but think that this wind nymph would make a really _dreadful_ assasin.

"It's Chilaros, right? With a silent C?" Chilaros made a surprised face and nodded. She was curled up in a ball of shame and fear, the fight with Dark Pit had been really humiliating, and he now had her at knifepoint for it.

"Alright. Can you tell me about Phosphora and Perdix? And possibly how Pit's still alive?"

"Huh?" Chilaros blinked in confusion. "The white angel is still alive?"

"We're two sides of the same coin, he dies, I die." Dark Pit gave her the simplest explanation he could think of. Chilaros might not have understood, but she was in no place to ask for a more detailed explanation.

"I think Zestos let him go, she hates violence and death. She'd _never_ kill anyone." Chilaros said. "I saw the lightning sprite fly away, she's probably being hunted now. Can't have gotten far, though. The empousa are really scary hunters." She said thoughtfully. Dark Pit glared at her and she said, "But the mortal girl is dead for all I know."

"Why do you think so?" Chilaros trembled under his sharp gaze. This news was not making him happy.

"B-because Kryo went after her when she tried to get away. And my big sis..." Dark Pit didn't need to hear the rest. He remembered Kryo from their short meetings in Skyworld. She was cold, stern, and would do anything her master told her to.

"She won't hesitate to kill anyone."

* * *

Truth is, Perdix did break away from the fall along with Phosphora, and Kryo did indeed follow her. Perdix had lost her staff when she was thrown out, but she was able to levitate for a split second before landing on her back, unhurt. Her body steamed from the small amount of magic, but cooled down instantly thanks to the snow. Then she was left shivering at knifepoint.

"I hope you realize this isn't personal." Kryo said. That was her only mistake.

Perdix had no idea what Kryo was expecting. To be honest, she didn't even hear what the Hades Kryo had just said. Maybe Kryo had been expecting Perdix the tremble in fear, or plead for her life. She really had no idea. But she did know that there was no way Kryo had been expecting the fist that contacted with her right cheek, or the hand that clenched around Kryo's knife and pulled it away from Perdix's neck.

Thank the gods that she had spent so much time using her hands so she could pull that off.

Of course, Perdix didn't say, _thank the gods,_ but she did say, "WHAT THE HADES?!" (Just so you know, from Perdix's point of view, that was a really bad curseword. It is Hades after all)

Kryo rubbed her bruised cheek, which was a pretty shade of lilac instead of its normal white.

"Now this is personal." She pulled out a second knife and turned into a cyclone, spinning the blade at Perdix.

The brunette knocked away Kryo's knife with her own, and said, "You can't kill me like that! I can parry that much! Turn solid and fight me!" Truth be told, Perdix was lying. She had knocked away the blade out of luck, not skill, and only used knives for chopping vegetables before. But it still worked. Kryo re-formed snarling as she clenched the knife in her hand. Perdix silently wondered if she had doomed herself. Oh, well, at least the wind nymph could be physically hurt now.

Kryo lunged. Perdix did her best to block the blade, while wishing she had her staff. Heck, she would be satisfied with a stick. Anything with more range than this stupid knife. A nice laser couldn't hurt either. It would warm up this cold place. But all Perdix could do was swing her knife. It didn't work nearly as nice as a laser.

"I. Hate. This. Knife!" Perdix growled as she missed for the millionth time. The snow, the cold, and the fact that she was shivering like a leaf wasn't helping her at all. Kryo came in for a stab, aiming for Perdix's side.

She had no idea what she was doing, but Perdix moved her free right hand and grabbed Kryo's wrist, keeping the blade from going in too deep, albeit the wound wasn't exactly a papercut. She came off better that Kryo, though. With her left hand, Perdix thrust her own knife straight into the wind nymph's heart.

Yeah, Perdix is _really_ good with her hands.

Kryo exploded into a cyclone of cold wind, yelling in pain. Perdix got a face full of cold air and snow. It was almost as if Kryo had insulted her on her dying breath, like, "Oh, yeah? Well now you're gonna freeze to death!"

Perdix cursed and tried to stop the bleeding on her right side. At least it wasn't gushing out like a waterfall.

"Ow ow ow ow ow. Damn, why did it have to be cold wind? Why couldn't she be a spirit of warm tropical wind or something?" She picked up the two knives and their sheaths, which were half buried in snow. Speaking of snow, the stuff was up to Perdix's ankles.

"It is really freaking cold here." She complained, her teeth clacking together. She squinted, trying to make out the blurry outlines of... something. Was it a town? "Let's hope it's a town." Perdix told herself.

* * *

"Where the hell am I?" Dark Pit asked, trudging through the snow with Chilaros still at knifepoint.

"The Titan's stronghold, well, _current_ stronghold." Chilaros said. " This place is near the western edge of the world. Later, they plan to move to Mount Othrys."

Dark Pit scowled. "You're making this up, aren't you? Mount Othrys is tiny. Nobody in their right mind would make _that_ pile of rubble their stronghold."

Chilaros answered, "It was once the highest mountian, even higher than Olympus, before the Olympians destroyed it in the Titan War. And Kronos is the Lord of Time for a reason."

The black angel groaned. "Well that's just great. He can turn time back, can't he?"

Chilaros nodded. "With enough power, yes."

The duo trudged down what was apparently a snowy mountain, until Dark Pit saw something shifting in the snow. He held the knife high, and Chilaros trembled.

"That's probably an empousa..." Chilaros had migrated behind Dark Pit's back and was shaking there. "They're hunting down the lightning sprite-"

"Then Phosphora should be close by." Dark Pit finished, even if Chilaros probably hadn't been planning to finish her sentence that way. "Better be careful about the empousa."

* * *

Lauren: I really hate tests. I studied without eating or sleeping for FOUR DAYS. That's 96 HOURS. So, excuse me while I crash. Zzz...


	22. Back Together, Minus One

Lauren: *yawn* Now I'm hungry. And bored. But lucky me, I have... instant ramen. And an apple. ...Eh, good enough. *munch munch*

Disclaimer: I totally own Kid Icarus, my name is not Lauren, and my best friend is not Darby. Riiiiiiight.

* * *

Pit scrambled away from the golden sword pointed at his chest.

"Don't try to run, or your death will be quicker than lightning." The gold-clad man, Chrysaor, snarled. His face was hidden behind a (you guessed it)gold helmet.

"Are you one of Kronos's minions?" Pit regretted the words as soon as he said them. Chrysaor's grip tightened on the handle of the sword, and his posture stiffened, ready to strike.

"No. I fight against Kronos. Do I look like a low-level minion to you, minion?"

Pit nearly beamed at the news. "Really? Great! I fight Kronos too, can you help me? I'm an angel!" He flapped his wings at the word 'angel', to solidify his point.

"I'm not fond of angels either, Pit."

"Uh, wait, how do you know my name?" Pit liked the way the conversation was heading less and less.

"Did I not introduce myself as the Son of Medusa? Would it not be appropriate for me to avenge my mother?"

"WAIT!" Pit screamed like a little girl as Chrysaor raised his sword for the death blow. "I'm allied with Medusa! I can help you!"

The golden warrior's weapon hovered an inch above Pit's head. It stayed there for a second. And another, and another... Pit had been alive for three more seconds than expected. Now four, now five...

"...You are not lying." Chrysaor said. "You did not attack me."

"You'll let me live?"

"Yes. For now. And put on this fur cloak, so you don't freeze to death." Pit was buried under a giant pile of fur.

* * *

Phosphora thought she had found safety in a cave, until she heard empousa giggling and talking about clothes, makeup, boys, and the most creative ways to commit murder. The worst thing was that Phosphora could have easily had a natural conversation with them, except about murder. No, maybe about murder, too.

"Don't come here, don't come here, don't come here..." After the seventh 'don't come here', the sounds died down. Phosphora sighed with relief. But then she heard something else.

"Phosphora? Where are you?" Dark Pit called out.

"Here! In the cave!"

"What cave? I can't see a cave."

"Here, Dark Pit!" Called a familiar, feminine voice. Phosphora saw a wind nymph glide in, followed by her favorite angel(She still held a small grudge against Pit for the battle at Thunder Cloud Temple).

"Phosphora!" Dark Pit and Phosphora both grinned. The lightning sprite looked behind Dark Pit to see what Arlon had to say, but then...

Dark Pit saw the look on her face, and grimaced. "I miss him too."

Phosphora nodded. The wind nymph(Phosphora couldn't remember her name) looked sad and said, "I'm really sorry about Arlon the Serene..."

"Sorry?! You're sorry?! Your master works for Kronos, and Kronos is the reason he's dead!" Phosphora shrieked. A wave of fury rushed through her. Electricity danced on her palm, and the wind nymph shrunk into a tiny ball in fear.

"I'm... sorry..." The way she trembled, it made her look so pathetic, so weak, and so young. Phosphora remembered her now, Chilaros, the youngest wind nymph. Shy, timid, but would always say what she had to no matter what. Right now, Phosphora was scaring her to death, all because she had said she was sorry. The electricity died down, and Chilaros set her large gray eyes on the lightning sprite.

"Fine. Let's find a way out of here." Dark Pit nodded, glad that Phosphora wasn't trying to kill a surprisingly able guide.

* * *

Perdix sprinted away from what she had mistaken for a town in the thick snow. Turns out it was a monster camp. She had blown it up, stabbed a few baddies, and was now sprinting away as fast as she could in case something came to check out what happened. The burst of magic she had used had heated her body up, and she was steaming in the cold air. She couldn't recall having trouble with Hecate's magic book, but Kronos had probably been doing something, like always.

Perdix panted, shivering again. It was cold, and using daggers on monsters was slightly different from using hunting knives on prey like deer, boar, and bear. Monsters weren't as smart. Up ahead, she saw something two figures. One was short and lumpy, the other was tall and looming, built like a bear. It also seemed kind of shiny. Perdix thought that she might be able to take down the two if she moved fast enough, and she might be able to risk some more magic before it got her killed. She wasn't exactly wrong, but she wasn't exactly right.

* * *

"There are several caves on this mountain. We can rest there, and hopefully, meet up with your friends." Chrysaor said. "Once you are off the mountain, avoid humans and make weapons for yourselves. But remember, anyone we fail to find will be considered dead. I am not trudging up this mountain to find a lost soul."

"Okay." Pit agreed. He saw a small silhouette, but he couldn't make it out. "Hey-"

But Perdix sprung straight out of the fog, and launched herself at Chrysaor. Pit had never seen Perdix wield any kind of weapon besides her staff with much skill,(the only other weapon he had seen her use was a sword, which she sucked at) so it was surprising that she was able to use knives. She latched onto Chrysaor, and with one swing, placed herself in a perfect position to strike her knife into the neck chink of his armor. She would have, if Chrysaor hadn't simply grabbed her by the arm and tossed her headfirst into the snow, where she was buried up to her shoulders. It took about three seconds for Pit to register who the pair of flailing legs belonged to.

"Hey," He pulled her by the ankles out of the snow, "you okay?"

Perdix spat out water and ice. "Yeah." She eyed Chrysaor warily, but there was something else in her green eyes, more like distaste than caution.

"Is this your friend?" He asked gruffly.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Perdix."

"She's human."

Perdix glared, still covered in snow. "Yeah, so what?" She crossed her arms and added, "You got a problem with that?"

"I thought you were related at first. The hair surprised me. And the facial structure."

The human girl turned to face the angel. "Who is this guy? Do we really look that alike? 'Cause that's the second time someone's-"

Pit glanced at him nervously. "That's Chrysaor, Medusa's son."

"...I didn't like him before, now I hate him."

"He'll get us off the mountain."

"I don't hate him anymore," Perdix said brightly. "What's the lump of fur?"

Chrysaor cut Pit off and said, "It's my cloak. Cut a piece off, my armor is more than I need to stay warm."

Pit and Perdix had different reactions to this. Pit asked whether it was fine to cut the cloak and why he had a cloak in the first place, while Perdix had already cut a chunk off and draped it over her shoulders. She asked, "Is that armor real gold?"

"Magical gold, but still pure gold." The look of distaste intensified on Perdix's face, but vanished instantly.

"Let's just go. I don't like this place."

Chrysaor's tone never seemed to change. "Remember, we are _not_ taking any detours just to find your friends. If we reach the bottom without finding them, they are dead."

* * *

"If we go this way, we'll take a longer route, but there won't be any monster camps." Chilaros said. "But if we go this way, we could get down pretty quickly, but there are a few camps in the way."

"Then let's take the shorter route." Dark Pit and Phosphora said in unison. They looked at each other for a moment, and Dark Pit continued, "If we take a longer route, we'll probably be found by empousa, and that's much worse than a few monsters."

"Yeah," Phosphora continued. "I can still use lightning, and that's more than enough for fighting off a small group. Also, if we meet Pit and/or Perdix along the way, we should just leave the mountain as soon as possible."

"I understand. But the mortal girl-"

"Is probably still alive." Phosphora shut Chilaros up. Despite her slight rivalry with Perdix, she didn't exactly want the girl to be dead. If anything, the thought made her nervous, and very depressed. She wondered why, since they had once tried very hard to kill each other.

After several minutes, they reached a trail of footprints leading down. By running, nearly getting impaled on Chrysaor's sword, and surviving unwanted rib-crushing hugs from Pit and Perdix's snickers, the entire group was formed.

"Pit, get off!" Dark Pit shouted at his twin, who had latched on and was not letting go. Perdix and Phosphora tugged Pit off Dark Pit.

"Friends?" Chrysalis asked. Pit nodded earnestly.

"Yeah, but there's- no, that's all of us." He corrected himself, the smile wiped off his face. Nobody was in a good mood now. The memory of Arlon was too fresh in their minds.

Perdix bit her lip. "Let's go. We can't waste any time here. I'll try to find out where we are, _then_ we can... do whatever we can. I dunno." She tightened her grip on her twin daggers, and trudged down.

* * *

 _Why bother? I'm in my world now._ Part of the girl said. _They're powerless. Staying with them is pointless. There's no need to watch my language or anything for that matter. The gods are helpless._

 _But still._ Another part of her chimed in. _If I hang around, maybe even show them the human world, and how it works, those stupid immortals might realize that they're wrong about everything._

 _No, they_ _won't. I know they won't. They're so convinced that everything they do is right._

 _Well, maybe not anymore! Look at what happened to Arlon! He's blown up, the connection with Viridi shattered, so he's not coming back, right? He's already crossed the River Styx... That must be their first permanent loss._

 _Do they even realize it? Do they even realize how badly they screwed up, letting Hecate mess with the connection?_

 _Maybe they think that some problems just pass by. I suppose that's how it must be for them all the time. Like_ _that ring from a few years ago. I didn't tell anybody because they wouldn't believe me..._

Perdix remembered a strange incident where she had picked up a strange ring and gotten possessed. It was so terrifying, she hadn't been able to speak. Her legs had moved on their own, and a high-pitched voice had sounded through her head. That day had been the worst day of her life, but it had also spurred her into learning combat and magic.

 _And look at the company I've got now. If it weren't for that damned ring-_ Her eyes laid on Pit, remembering his voice, and a thousand more questions sprung up in her head.

"This is where I will let you leave." Chrysaor's deep voice pulled Perdix out of her thoughts. "There is a human village close by, and I am certain that your human friend will see an immediate problem. However..." He stared at Perdix, taking in her brown hair and green eyes. "If what I heard was true, she should solve the problem easily."

Perdix tried to put her blown mind back together and stared at Pit, Dark Pit, and Phosphora. Chrysaor was right, the problem was too obvious.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. "That's a problem."

Dark Pit raised his hand up to stop the flow of the conversation. "Hold up, what did you hear? And what's the problem?"

"I'll tell you later." Perdix dismissed the questions with a wave of her hand. "Not here."

* * *

Lauren: Well, now you know who Perdix is. This part of the story... is what I consider to be the main turning point. Everyone is going to see how exactly the world of humans works, and it might not be very happy.


	23. Perdix’s World

Lauren: Ummm...

Perdix: *glares*

Dark Pit: *glares back*

Pit: Guys... do you mind? I'll just take this. *picks up a hamburger*

Lauren: Okay, What in Hades happened during the last ten minutes? *steals hamburger from Pit and brandishes Laser Staff at Pit for taking hamburger*

Phosphora: These two had a little... er... disagreement... about cats.

Lauren: Okay, I get it. ...Wait, what? Cats?

Perdix: How can anyone _possibly_ like those foul beasts?! Have you ever seen them hunting? Or eating? It's so gross! Have you seen what they do to birds? Those harmless, feathered little creatures get mauled by cats every day, and-

Dark Pit: Cats catch mice too! Without cats, there would be way to many mice and rats disrupting our food! Have _you_ thought about _that?!_ And so what if they eat birds? Birds can make flying for 5 minutes really difficult! Especially when you have to carry sharp weapons-

Pit: I think we can add birds to the list of things they disagreee on. Pittoo, just admit you like cats because they're cute and cuddly. I do too, and I saw you with those Paw Pad Orbitars the other day.

Dark Pit: *looks a Lauren* Can I borrow your Laser Staff?

Disclaimer: I totally own Kid Icarus and am making a new game in the future. Yeah, in an alternate universe.

* * *

"What do you mean, we're 'too shiny?!'" Dark Pit practically screamed is exasperation.

Perdix scratches her head. "Well, technically I should say fancy. Your outfits, they've got a lot of ... gold. Gold is all... shiny, shiny, pricey, pricey."

"Shiny, shiny, pricey, pricey?" Phosphora snorted. "I think the word you're looking for is valuable."

"Yes, thanks." Perdix glanced at Phosphora, who was grinning. "...I am never going to hear the end of that."

Phosphora's grin widened. "No, you are not. Prepare for a lot of attacks on your vocabulary. By the way, what about me? I'm not wearing a lot of gold."

Perdix gave Phosphora a look, as if she was scanning her. "No, but your scarf is going to attract a _lot_ of attention. That's not a good thing. I'll go get some clothes and hopefully cloaks that won't."

Pit frowned. "Uh, and what are we supposed to do during that time?"

"I dunno." Perdix shrugged. "Just wait till I come back."

* * *

"You're kidding me. I have to wear this?!" Phosphora held up the light gray chiton in disgust.

"Yup. It's pretty loose, just throw it over what you've got now. I got this cloak, too. There was this cloak store with a broken door, the owner was really nice..." Perdix tossed the twin angels similar clothes that covered every sign of immortality, and more importantly, wealth.

Both Pit and Dark Pit glared at the girl, and reluctantly accepted their makeover. Phosphora took some more persuading.

"Perfect! Now you guys could pass for travelers with absolutely nothing to lose!" Perdix looked fairly proud of her work, making everyone look like run-down lowlifes that weren't secretly wearing gold and furs under the battered fabric. "Okay, now don't say anything, and stick to me at all costs," she said, throwing on a cloak of her own. "If people start suspecting you of wealth, you'll get beat up in ten minutes, tops." After a bit of thought, she added, "If you do have to say something, try keeping your voice low and quiet. There's an empty house where we can stay, I think the owner died. Starved, probably."

"What kind of place is this town?" Pit asked, imagining something horrifying.

"Oh, just your average town of people who need way more than they're allowed." Perdix said. She looked over her shoulder and with a smirk, she added, "Welcome to my world."

* * *

Perdix's world wasn't very enjoyable. As soon as she ushered everyone into a beat up house, she simply told everyone to stay put until she got back. Silently slipping through the front door and into the crowd, Perdix started thinking about how much of the human world Pit, Dark Pit, and Phosphora had been allowed to see. Beggars, thieves, sacrifices, and what may or may not have been a corpse. Judging from the lack of flies, it was probably just someone who hadn't eaten for three or four days and passed out on the street. Perdix called that a half-corpse.

Returning to the cloak store with the nice lady, she got to work on the door. A hinge had fallen off, or at least half of it had, and it was badly rusted. Oil, hammer, nails. The smooth metal in Perdix's hands was so natural and calming. It reminded her of her uncle, Daedalus, who had been the world's greatest inventor/craftsman for as long as he lived. He had even accepted her as his apprentice before he died, but he had lived long enough to teach her the basics of basically everything, unlike her parents.

"Oh, thank you, dear." The kind lady pulled Perdix out of her memories as she restored the door. "I'd do more for you, but my children didn't get their food last night."

"It's okay, ma'am." Perdix said. "Just happy to work, and um... thanks for the cloaks." She wasn't being nice, she was being honest. She loved working, but that was probably because she had a natural gift for it. As a descendant of Dintos and Palutena, the two most intelligent gods, she had a natural talent for craft. So did her uncle, and her mother, and her grandmother, and so on.

She sniffed out people in need of something fixed(which was most people), and did the job herself. In return, she received favors, advice, and enough food to last a day. It was something she would have much less trouble with in her hometown, knowing all the people and having a very good reputation. But, nothing was perfect.

"Hey." A gruff voice from behind Perdix made her stop in her tracks. "I saw you getting paid back there. I want you to drop all your money, little by little on the ground. You scream, you fight, you resist in any way, and me and my boys will cut you into tiny little pieces and feed you to the dogs. Understand?"

Perdix nodded. She had expected something like this to happen, as there were some people who just had bad luck in making money and living a life. Her hands slowly slipped into the sack of food she had gotten in exchange for a new fence. Her fingers curled around one of two knives she had gotten from Kryo the wind nymph. In one quick move, she slammed the hilt of the dagger into the bandit's forehead and pushed him down.

"You know what?" She said, raising one finger and lighting a small flame like a candle, "Tell your people to stay away from me. Understand?" Magic wasn't a common trick, and the people who could pull it off weren't usually ones to be messed with. Perdix hoped that unspoken rule applied here as well. "Bye!" And she quickly hurried away from the scene she had just made.

* * *

"Why are you out of breath?" Dark Pit asked the brunette.

She threw a sack of food at him. "Eat. That's enough to last a day."

"Why are you out of breath?" He asked again, more forcefully.

"I might have caused a scene in public."

Dark Pit facepalmed. "You told us that we shouldn't attract attention!"

"He was threatening to cut me up and feed me to a dog, what am I supposed to do?"

Pit glanced at them nervously. "Someone threatened to cut you up and feed you to a dog?"

Perdix dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "I took care of it."

"Wait, that's supposed to be normal?"

Dark Pit had to read Perdix's lips. It looked like she was said _crap._

"Perdix? Can I ask you something?" Phosphora said, arms crossed.

Perdix bit her lip. "What, about the sacrifices earlier?"

Pit blinked. "How did you know? Did you see that coming?"

"Of course. You wanna know why we sacrifice our food to the gods, even though it's clear there's not enough to go around? It's because we get punished if we don't. Monsters come after us, plague spreads, giant floods happen, do you need more examples? When we don't supply the gods with food, we get killed for it. Palutena's less demanding, but we could really do with less protection and more food and water." Perdix said coldly.

Phosphora opened her mouth, but Perdix had more to say.

"By the way, just because we cut down trees and stuff, that doesn't mean we're 'destroying nature.' Why don't you go to those rich people who can't get enough of themselves and send some monsters after them? It would help everyone, and I mean literally everyone. Even their slaves." Perdix closed her mouth, blinked a few times, and said, "Sorry. I guess I could have put that- I mean said that, a little more... a little more nicely."

Dark Pit let that sink in before saying, "And humans are afraid to complain, so they just live like... this?"

"Pretty much. Zeus is a jerk. Most gods are jerks." Perdix quickly added, "There are exceptions."

"I bet we seem terrible to you humans." Pit said, fiddling with his hands. "Not just gods, but all the immortals, this is..." He couldn't find the right word to use.

"Disgusting." Phosphora's face was blank. "It's disgusting. We don't understand how the human world works at all, we're just selfish. We're taking everything you need to live, right?"

"Actually, Phosphora, if you want to feel better about yourself, I can tell you that the Forces of Nature are not getting any human support. Viridi is a primordial goddess, so her power isn't fueled by human belief, and she's not taking anything from us. If she did, there's no way I would have agreed to fight with you as an ally, you're already so stuck-up." Perdix said.

"Thanks. Huh, what? ...I'm gonna thrust you into that wall."

* * *

Pit was wide awake during the dead of night. He couldn't help it. He had just been shown the real life of the humans, having to scavenge, beg, and steal when they couldn't help it. Perdix had reminded him that this town was particularly poor, with only one chariot that needed fixing, but it still bothered him. He made a mental note to tell Palutena that they had badly misjudged what the humans needed the most.

The sound of a knife on wood made him turn. Perdix was huddled next to a small window, keeping the wooden shutters open so that the long piece of wood was illuminated by the moon. Closer inspection told him that she was making a bow.

Her eyes flickered over in his direction. "Go to sleep. You'll need it." She returned to the unfinished bow. "I'll give this to you in the morning, along with the arrows."

"Can't you do it in the morning?"

Perdix set her jaw. "No. You guys need to practice using limited arrows, especially when I can only give you about fifteen each. Then we go back up that mountain."

"You're including yourself?"

"Of course. Helping you guys is the quickest way to punch Kronos in the face. Or whatever he's got, he might not still have an entire face."

"Thanks for that mental image."

"You're absolutely welcome."

"I was being sarcastic!"

"I know."

Pit grinned. At least Perdix had a sense of humor, even if it didn't match his. He spent the next few minutes watching her work on the bow. There was something mesmerizing and familiar about it, the way her hands moved over the wood, making a bow that would fit either Pit or Dark Pit. Then she started attaching the string, tightening it so that the arrows would fly faster. She straightened, and pulled the bowstring back. Satisfied, she propped it up on the wall, and started making another bow.

"Can I ask you something?" Pit wasn't looking at her face, so he was kind of startled when she suddenly spoke.

"I just... never managed to tell anyone because I thought they would call me crazy, but I've got this... problem... no, not exactly a problem but it's been bothering me for years. Can I ask you about it?" Perdix's hands had stopped. Pit was receiving her undivided attention.

"Uh, sure. Go ahead."

"Have you ever been possessed?"

"What? Uh, no."

"Is getting possessed possible, then?"

"Sure. Remember eidolons?"

"Oh, right. Well then, it could be possible for eidolons to possess you, through a... small object, right?"

Pit suddenly got a strange feeling, and looked closely at Perdix. He didn't see the teenaged, crafty, mage but a young girl with pigtails, brown hair and green eyes. He'd nearly forgotten about the little girl who had picked up the ring, which was Pit at the time, and here she was, staring him in the face. She was even wearing the same dress, albeit tailored into some kind of tunic.

"Like a ring?"

Her eyes widened. "You... you know?"

"Yeah. It's a long story... that ring was me." He waited for her reaction.

"I knew it!" She nearly yelled, but caught herself to avoid waking anyone. "I knew you sounded familiar! I thought so earlier! That's why... you're the reason why I learned magic and all that!"

"Really?" A question in Pit's head surfaced. "Where did you go? You just vanished."

"I got out of there as soon as I could move again. I was terrified."

"Fun fact, I also controlled Magnus. He was pretty cool about it, though."

"You did? This is best night of my life."

* * *

"This isn't too bad. I've used limited arrows before." Pit said. He was practicing archery out in a remote place Perdix had scouted out for them. Perdix was napping under a tree to make up for the sleep she had lost.

"This bow is actually really good." Dark Pit said, nodding. "I mean _really_ good."

"Okay, boys! I'm gonna throw the apples again!" Phosphora shouted. She tossed two apples up into the air, and the angels shot them out of the sky. Phosphora then removed the arrows and delivered them back whenever they ran out. Perdix had made twenty five arrows total(with five leftover arrowheads). Dark Pit won the one extra arrow in a game if rock-paper-scissors.

The next arrows missed their targets completely. A gust of wind caught the blew them completely off course. Phosphora sighed. She zipped off to get the arrows, yelling, "That's gonna happen a lot with Aeolus around!" Handing them back their arrows, she added, "Try not to shoot me, or Mistress Viridi, or Lady Palutena, or Perdix."

"Yeah, now that I think about it, Aeolus is going to make using a bow really hard. Perdix should have made swords or something." Pit said.

Phosphora glanced at Perdix, sleeping peacefully. "I don't think she would have a way to make a sword. Or enough metal."

"I dare you to ask her to make us swords. She'll probably punch you in the mouth."

"I don't think so." Pit jogged up to Perdix and shook her awake.

"Five more minutes, Gaol," she grumbled sleepily.

"Ha, ha, wake up. And I'm not Gaol. Sorry, but with Aeolus around, using a bow is gonna be pretty hard. Can-"

"If you ask me to make you swords or claws or whatever, I'm gonna punch you in the mouth. Besides, I actually have a plan. Help me steal Hecate's book of magic, and we'll have this in the bag."

"Okay, explain."

* * *

Lauren: I did this in one day. ONE. DAY. So it might be kinda bad. Wow, that sums up literally everything I've done in my life. _'It might be kinda bad.'_

Perdix: Don't. You. Dare. I am not making you more weapons. Those bows and arrows took all night.

Pit: Okay, sorry. We just... noticed how hard it is to shoot in wind. I never noticed that problem with my other weapons.

Perdix: Well, duh. Those shoot pure energy, wind's not doing anything to that. Thank the Fates Phosphora hasn't lost her powers, otherwise I'd definitely have broken something.

Phosphora: Well, actually...

Perdix: *death glare*

Phosphora: I'm kidding! *giggle*

Dark Pit: Are you gonna share that?

Lauren: *hugs pizza* Not with you. You're not allowed.

Dark Pit: What if I steal your Laser Staff?

Lauren: Don't make me get my Scorpio Staff. Poison hurts, remember?


End file.
